What you goin' do when a feller gets flirty, and starts talkin' purty?
The day began in anticipation of a five hour test, which happily did not occur since I don't take directions well.
Burn that fucking box. Shit on those bright, red lines. I'll find my own way, thank you.
Thanks to this personality dysfunction I'm eighty dollars in the hole.
fuck personality.
anyways, I woke around 1:00, did some personal hygiene, a little myspace, some self-meditation, and then left for Fremont with Lynn.
We walked and smoked and ate burritos, did some coffee-shop hopping, bought some records, and went to an organic food market. Real indie kid stuff, yo.
By now it was dark and we sat on a bench by the river and listened to hedwig and TLC.
and, took pictures of eerily still crows in some ghastly, forked trees.
When we returned we watched Breakfast on Pluto and ate oatmeal, thinking the night was soon to be over.
Then, Lewis walked in. "NEIGHBOURS, TONIGHT! Yeah?"
Fuck me.
Of course we got excited and decided that this was a much better option than sleep.
Around 2 o'clock, after Lewis prepped Heather's face, and we all got skanky, we left.
We met up with Lewis' ex, Drew, and Nikki in the parking lot, and they all got sufficiently wasted off their sparkling strawberry wine. I, of course, the responsible one, voted to stay sober enough to drive.
As soon as we walked in, there were hands.
Lots of rubbing and poking and squeezing...
There were hands.
There were also enough creepy guys to get Heather and I to pretend we were very interested in one another.
About fifteen minutes in, the most attractive man I have ever been privileged to see in real life started dancing with Lewis...whose eyes popped and mouth was frozen in a constant "O".
He kept exchanging glances with me: "Oh my fucking God." "Oh Jesus Christ." "Fuck, fuck, fuck!"
"Peter", the god of gay men, after discovering I really wasn't interested in Heather, then introduced me to his straight friend, Quint.
And then Heather paired up with Nick, their roommate (who she had met before).
Big, happy family.
After continual smoke breaks, and secret nudges and smirks and silent congratulations all around in our little circle, for each of us picking up a hot guy, it was eventually decided that it was time to go to their place and play beer pong.
Of course I wanted to go...Lewis needed to get laid by that man. It would bring me so much happiness.
We drove over and partied and smoked and smoked and partied.
I didn't drink anything. It was assumed that we would eventually leave, and someone needed to stay sober enough.
Then suddenly, Lewis left with Peter.
Yeah.
And then, Drew and Nikki, left.
Shit.
This left a drunken Nick and Heather and Quint and a very sober Danica in a big house, all alone, at 4:30 in the morning.
I kept suggesting it was time to leave, but:
1. Nick was very attractive.
2. Heather was hitting on Nick.
3. Something was happening that I could not control, especially since Heather is belligerent when she's drunk.
So, after Quint and I came back into the house from a smoke break, Heather and Nick had disappeared.
Fuck.
"I've been working up the courage all night to kiss you."
And me, with my desire to not make the situation any more awkward, my inability to say "no", my lack of options, and with a very apathetic attitude, said:
"Go ahead."
Eventually, we worked our way up to his temperpedic mattress and goose feather pillows.
All the while, I'm secretly freaking out because it's now 5:30am in the morning and Heather has work at 10:30 and she might be getting raped and I'm pretty sure any second I could be raped and though Quint was fucking attractive, I was not interested, and only making out because there was nothing else to do and I really just wanted to curl up in a ball on that temperpedic mattress and sleep.
I eventually worked out a compromise with Quint. I would leave at 6:30am.
I woke up at 7:30am to Quint stumbling off to the bathroom.
Confused and embarrassed and out of sorts, I began my search for Heather.
So, I stumbled up and down stairs, knocking on doors, and peering in rooms.
She was nowhere to be found.
And, I, with no other choice, hesitantly woke up a sleepy, drunk Quint.
"Quint, where's Heather?"
"Do whachu feel iss best."
"Quint, I can't find Heather, where is she?"
"You want mynumberrr?"
(by this point I'm pissed)
"Quint, no, you don't understand. I need to find Heather, where's Heather and Nick?"
"Oh, probabbly in the basemennt."
So, I confusedly search for the basement and start pounding on doors. I hear some stirring and rummaging and whispering.
I keep knocking.
"Heather! Heather? You have work in 3 hours."
more whispering.
"Heather?"
clothes rustling.
"HEATHER, SERIOUSLY."
"WHAT!" (Nick)
"She needs to leave, she has work in 3 hours."
Silence.
Fifteen minutes later, after more pounding and me freaking out and wanting to cry, Heather stumbles out of the room.
I get her to walk out quickly with me, we grab our stuff, and go.
We didn't say a word the whole way back.
Later I found out that Nick wasn't that much of a gentleman.
We both agreed that we hoped we never saw them both ever again.
Yesterday, I got a message from Nick, who found me on facebook, gave me his number, and said they'd found Heather's i.d. at the house.
Fuck.
And so, today.
Heather bought a new i.d.
Burn that fucking box. Shit on those bright, red lines. I'll find my own way, thank you.
Thanks to this personality dysfunction I'm eighty dollars in the hole.
fuck personality.
anyways, I woke around 1:00, did some personal hygiene, a little myspace, some self-meditation, and then left for Fremont with Lynn.
We walked and smoked and ate burritos, did some coffee-shop hopping, bought some records, and went to an organic food market. Real indie kid stuff, yo.
By now it was dark and we sat on a bench by the river and listened to hedwig and TLC.
and, took pictures of eerily still crows in some ghastly, forked trees.
When we returned we watched Breakfast on Pluto and ate oatmeal, thinking the night was soon to be over.
Then, Lewis walked in. "NEIGHBOURS, TONIGHT! Yeah?"
Fuck me.
Of course we got excited and decided that this was a much better option than sleep.
Around 2 o'clock, after Lewis prepped Heather's face, and we all got skanky, we left.
We met up with Lewis' ex, Drew, and Nikki in the parking lot, and they all got sufficiently wasted off their sparkling strawberry wine. I, of course, the responsible one, voted to stay sober enough to drive.
As soon as we walked in, there were hands.
Lots of rubbing and poking and squeezing...
There were hands.
There were also enough creepy guys to get Heather and I to pretend we were very interested in one another.
About fifteen minutes in, the most attractive man I have ever been privileged to see in real life started dancing with Lewis...whose eyes popped and mouth was frozen in a constant "O".
He kept exchanging glances with me: "Oh my fucking God." "Oh Jesus Christ." "Fuck, fuck, fuck!"
"Peter", the god of gay men, after discovering I really wasn't interested in Heather, then introduced me to his straight friend, Quint.
And then Heather paired up with Nick, their roommate (who she had met before).
Big, happy family.
After continual smoke breaks, and secret nudges and smirks and silent congratulations all around in our little circle, for each of us picking up a hot guy, it was eventually decided that it was time to go to their place and play beer pong.
Of course I wanted to go...Lewis needed to get laid by that man. It would bring me so much happiness.
We drove over and partied and smoked and smoked and partied.
I didn't drink anything. It was assumed that we would eventually leave, and someone needed to stay sober enough.
Then suddenly, Lewis left with Peter.
Yeah.
And then, Drew and Nikki, left.
Shit.
This left a drunken Nick and Heather and Quint and a very sober Danica in a big house, all alone, at 4:30 in the morning.
I kept suggesting it was time to leave, but:
1. Nick was very attractive.
2. Heather was hitting on Nick.
3. Something was happening that I could not control, especially since Heather is belligerent when she's drunk.
So, after Quint and I came back into the house from a smoke break, Heather and Nick had disappeared.
Fuck.
"I've been working up the courage all night to kiss you."
And me, with my desire to not make the situation any more awkward, my inability to say "no", my lack of options, and with a very apathetic attitude, said:
"Go ahead."
Eventually, we worked our way up to his temperpedic mattress and goose feather pillows.
All the while, I'm secretly freaking out because it's now 5:30am in the morning and Heather has work at 10:30 and she might be getting raped and I'm pretty sure any second I could be raped and though Quint was fucking attractive, I was not interested, and only making out because there was nothing else to do and I really just wanted to curl up in a ball on that temperpedic mattress and sleep.
I eventually worked out a compromise with Quint. I would leave at 6:30am.
I woke up at 7:30am to Quint stumbling off to the bathroom.
Confused and embarrassed and out of sorts, I began my search for Heather.
So, I stumbled up and down stairs, knocking on doors, and peering in rooms.
She was nowhere to be found.
And, I, with no other choice, hesitantly woke up a sleepy, drunk Quint.
"Quint, where's Heather?"
"Do whachu feel iss best."
"Quint, I can't find Heather, where is she?"
"You want mynumberrr?"
(by this point I'm pissed)
"Quint, no, you don't understand. I need to find Heather, where's Heather and Nick?"
"Oh, probabbly in the basemennt."
So, I confusedly search for the basement and start pounding on doors. I hear some stirring and rummaging and whispering.
I keep knocking.
"Heather! Heather? You have work in 3 hours."
more whispering.
"Heather?"
clothes rustling.
"HEATHER, SERIOUSLY."
"WHAT!" (Nick)
"She needs to leave, she has work in 3 hours."
Silence.
Fifteen minutes later, after more pounding and me freaking out and wanting to cry, Heather stumbles out of the room.
I get her to walk out quickly with me, we grab our stuff, and go.
We didn't say a word the whole way back.
Later I found out that Nick wasn't that much of a gentleman.
We both agreed that we hoped we never saw them both ever again.
Yesterday, I got a message from Nick, who found me on facebook, gave me his number, and said they'd found Heather's i.d. at the house.
Fuck.
And so, today.
Heather bought a new i.d.