So content, and I'm not expecting it to change
This is an update on what's going on with my life at the moment
So life is going great for me. I love it here at Ottawa U, there is so much to do in Ottawa it's crazy. There is always something going on and I love that. I've gotten really close to Kasia; we've seriously become sisters and it's so good to have someone here that I have so much in common with. I still get to see my friends like Chel all the time, and have amazing weekends with, so I feel like I'm not missing anything. Also my roomates and I are getting a lot closer. We're talking a lot more and starting to make plans to just hang out us three ( in the future when I say roomates, I will be excluding Pascal because he's not really part of our 107 family, u know, might have something to do with the fact that he WON'T TALK TO US. Funniest thing, today I ran into him and said hi, he looked at me for a good minute, then recognized me and said hi back. It's like hello I live with u and u don't recognize me, how sad for him. My roomates and I have a good laugh about it constantly, so it's not a problem.) Classes are going good to, even with everything coming up, I'm not getting that stressed and am managing my time as well as I can.
This place has become my home and is where I feel most comfortable, I never thought that would happen or I would ever feel that way. I only realized that this weekend when I went home to my old room, which is now my sisters, and walked into my "new" bedroom with just a bed in it and felt like I was an outsider there. I missed my room in rez. I'd take these holey walls and the smell over my old room, even with my stuff in it anyday. But with the good always comes the bad. My sister and I have lost touch with eachother and she is one of the reasons I'd rather be here. No one really understands it, so it's tough. I wish things were different, but they aren't. And I know it's killing my parents. I told them that I'm plannin on staying here till christmas holidays and they are really upset. I miss them too, but I get so stressed going home, there just too much tension. Also every time I go home I cry and am unhappy. Also since I've been here, I haven't felt depressed, there is no drama and hardly any stress. This is why I'd rather be here then home. I really miss my parents tho, so hopefully they'll start coming up more.
The other day I was looking through my old livejournals cuz I needed a funny story for french (I picked the one about scaring the shit out of my dad and the anger, lol, good times) and I ran across a prediction about a friendship that came true. It's from around January-Febuary when I was finishing school. "I don't think I realize how much I'm gonna miss my friends. I mean, we always chill at lunch and that's where the plans are made. And I know that like I'll still chill with Mel and Chel on the weekends, but I'm worried about Cammie, and I know it sounds wierd cuz he's like one of my best buds, and we're always together, but that's gonna change because of school. And then we'll never see eachother, and he'll start hangin out with other ppl and then he'll never call and.... man I'm physco. Yes, I'm admittin that I'm scared I'm gonna lose some friendships, or that they will be weakened because I will not be around as much. I guess this is a test of friendships tho and if they are worth the time and effort. I hope they all are." yeah....
What's scaring me the most is that the same prediction of losing friends is being made in my crazy head and I don't wanna lose any more friendships, but it could happen, I just need to brace myself I guess. It's just sad when that does happen. I guess everything worked out for the best in the end, which is what I will have to think of.
But all in all, I am happy. Very happy. Right now the good in definately outweighing the bad. It's fantastic. I just felt like I needed to share my happiness with others. I hope that for everyone else the good is outweighing the bad, I really do, and if not, I'm always here if anyone needs to talk.
So life is going great for me. I love it here at Ottawa U, there is so much to do in Ottawa it's crazy. There is always something going on and I love that. I've gotten really close to Kasia; we've seriously become sisters and it's so good to have someone here that I have so much in common with. I still get to see my friends like Chel all the time, and have amazing weekends with, so I feel like I'm not missing anything. Also my roomates and I are getting a lot closer. We're talking a lot more and starting to make plans to just hang out us three ( in the future when I say roomates, I will be excluding Pascal because he's not really part of our 107 family, u know, might have something to do with the fact that he WON'T TALK TO US. Funniest thing, today I ran into him and said hi, he looked at me for a good minute, then recognized me and said hi back. It's like hello I live with u and u don't recognize me, how sad for him. My roomates and I have a good laugh about it constantly, so it's not a problem.) Classes are going good to, even with everything coming up, I'm not getting that stressed and am managing my time as well as I can.
This place has become my home and is where I feel most comfortable, I never thought that would happen or I would ever feel that way. I only realized that this weekend when I went home to my old room, which is now my sisters, and walked into my "new" bedroom with just a bed in it and felt like I was an outsider there. I missed my room in rez. I'd take these holey walls and the smell over my old room, even with my stuff in it anyday. But with the good always comes the bad. My sister and I have lost touch with eachother and she is one of the reasons I'd rather be here. No one really understands it, so it's tough. I wish things were different, but they aren't. And I know it's killing my parents. I told them that I'm plannin on staying here till christmas holidays and they are really upset. I miss them too, but I get so stressed going home, there just too much tension. Also every time I go home I cry and am unhappy. Also since I've been here, I haven't felt depressed, there is no drama and hardly any stress. This is why I'd rather be here then home. I really miss my parents tho, so hopefully they'll start coming up more.
The other day I was looking through my old livejournals cuz I needed a funny story for french (I picked the one about scaring the shit out of my dad and the anger, lol, good times) and I ran across a prediction about a friendship that came true. It's from around January-Febuary when I was finishing school. "I don't think I realize how much I'm gonna miss my friends. I mean, we always chill at lunch and that's where the plans are made. And I know that like I'll still chill with Mel and Chel on the weekends, but I'm worried about Cammie, and I know it sounds wierd cuz he's like one of my best buds, and we're always together, but that's gonna change because of school. And then we'll never see eachother, and he'll start hangin out with other ppl and then he'll never call and.... man I'm physco. Yes, I'm admittin that I'm scared I'm gonna lose some friendships, or that they will be weakened because I will not be around as much. I guess this is a test of friendships tho and if they are worth the time and effort. I hope they all are." yeah....
What's scaring me the most is that the same prediction of losing friends is being made in my crazy head and I don't wanna lose any more friendships, but it could happen, I just need to brace myself I guess. It's just sad when that does happen. I guess everything worked out for the best in the end, which is what I will have to think of.
But all in all, I am happy. Very happy. Right now the good in definately outweighing the bad. It's fantastic. I just felt like I needed to share my happiness with others. I hope that for everyone else the good is outweighing the bad, I really do, and if not, I'm always here if anyone needs to talk.