thinking of jello and crying!
you know as i sit here in this chair huddled infront of pictures and the computer sceen. i look at pictures i have pictures of you and me and all the wonderful times we spent together. and i think to myself what the hell has happened is this all a dream. i look at pictures listening to this song and crying. i miss you so much its not tha same without you here.
i think of all the times we stayed up late talking and goofing around. and when we would cuddle and watch tv and fall asleep in eachothers arms. our trip to virginia and playing and talking on the beach with you. and how you met my family and they loved you. how youve always been there for me.
i just cant stop thinking about you. i sit here holding the bear you gave me the night all this happened, i havent put it down. i wear the beautiful necklace you gave me and all the beautiful things you have given me. and i stare at your pictures all time. i will sit here and watch that stupid news clip just to see you and then i look into your eyes and i see how scared you are, i just wish i could hold you and tell you everything is gonna be ok. like all those times you did it for me.
but,
i know nothing is gonna be ok. i just pray in my heart that you get the easiest outcome for what has happened.
why,....why, did you have to get so caught up in dealing and why did you lose sight of who you really were. a beautiful person inside and out who did all he could for ppl. a funny fun loving person who was full of youth. now all i have of you is pictures and i hope i find out how long you are gone bc then i can count down the days till i can hold you in my arms again.
why did this have to happen bc of this i have to leave and risk the chance of never seeing you again. everywhere i look i see things that remind me of your beautiful face. i dream about you wondering whats going to happen. i hold the bear and close my eyes hoping ill open them to you. i feel that when i think of you. you somehow hear what i am thinking bc i get all warm inside and feel like your close to me. even tho your so far away.
so far away that i can see your wonderful face look into your eyes and still not be able to touch you. its the worst thing of all looking and knowing i cant hold you. can this nightmare ever stop.
i cry i cry so much that i dont think i will ever stop. and i listen to how much everyone says they miss you and i dont think ne one could miss you as much of me.
then then ihave to hear ppl talk shit. and as much as i hate to believe this they are right about somethings. like how you got you got so caught up you turned cocky and thick headed. oh how bc of you this shit happened. and ppl have to pay for it. i dont want to believe it but i know that i have to. i think i have some point in my heart where i know it isnt or think it isnt for that matter. it just hurts me to know the reason all this pain was brought on is bc of stupid decisions that you and others made.
but,
i still love you and i always will. your my best friend and i wish the best for you in this situation. and i will continue to love you and hold you in my heart.
thats a poem\letter from the bottom of my heart to jello
i was crying to much to finish it!!!
bye Julie Dove
i think of all the times we stayed up late talking and goofing around. and when we would cuddle and watch tv and fall asleep in eachothers arms. our trip to virginia and playing and talking on the beach with you. and how you met my family and they loved you. how youve always been there for me.
i just cant stop thinking about you. i sit here holding the bear you gave me the night all this happened, i havent put it down. i wear the beautiful necklace you gave me and all the beautiful things you have given me. and i stare at your pictures all time. i will sit here and watch that stupid news clip just to see you and then i look into your eyes and i see how scared you are, i just wish i could hold you and tell you everything is gonna be ok. like all those times you did it for me.
but,
i know nothing is gonna be ok. i just pray in my heart that you get the easiest outcome for what has happened.
why,....why, did you have to get so caught up in dealing and why did you lose sight of who you really were. a beautiful person inside and out who did all he could for ppl. a funny fun loving person who was full of youth. now all i have of you is pictures and i hope i find out how long you are gone bc then i can count down the days till i can hold you in my arms again.
why did this have to happen bc of this i have to leave and risk the chance of never seeing you again. everywhere i look i see things that remind me of your beautiful face. i dream about you wondering whats going to happen. i hold the bear and close my eyes hoping ill open them to you. i feel that when i think of you. you somehow hear what i am thinking bc i get all warm inside and feel like your close to me. even tho your so far away.
so far away that i can see your wonderful face look into your eyes and still not be able to touch you. its the worst thing of all looking and knowing i cant hold you. can this nightmare ever stop.
i cry i cry so much that i dont think i will ever stop. and i listen to how much everyone says they miss you and i dont think ne one could miss you as much of me.
then then ihave to hear ppl talk shit. and as much as i hate to believe this they are right about somethings. like how you got you got so caught up you turned cocky and thick headed. oh how bc of you this shit happened. and ppl have to pay for it. i dont want to believe it but i know that i have to. i think i have some point in my heart where i know it isnt or think it isnt for that matter. it just hurts me to know the reason all this pain was brought on is bc of stupid decisions that you and others made.
but,
i still love you and i always will. your my best friend and i wish the best for you in this situation. and i will continue to love you and hold you in my heart.
thats a poem\letter from the bottom of my heart to jello
i was crying to much to finish it!!!
bye Julie Dove