Jun 01, 2004 13:30
On friday my grampa passed away. So now its 6ppl that hav died in my life. Today was the funeral..and i wasnt guna go but my younger cousins were goin so i felt like i had to. I hate funerals I hope thats the last one for a few yrs..... thats enough deaths to last me a few yrz. Every time someone dies its almost like it makes it another 10% harder to keep going. I dont have any Grand-dads, my godfather passed 2monthz ago....the only fatherly figure i hav is my Dad. I was just starting to move on with life, to stop sumthin sum pplz kno about.... i was jus gettin into believing myself that my brother is gone fo good... n then this happens...itz like god dun want me to move on n say that my brother is in a better place and that I will c him wen my life comes to an end but not by me ending it.... n now it starts all over again...n it feels like tha only way to c them again is to jus end my life.....ive been close to it b4..but i dun hav ne gutz....n i wudnt b able to do it ne wayz....well g2g...ttyl bye