I hate MOOD swings!

[babygrrrl]

I just dont know what been up with me lately. Sat nite was so funny... i got a proposition! wow! me!for the longest time i been trying to figure out this person at work was gay or not.. but, always played around the quiestion so i never been able to know. tonite, she told me she lay me if i dont go to L.A. soon. i just laughed but then i realized what she had said.. and wow...really? but, then she pushed this well i am a supervisor of yours.. and that would be bad with the company... all i was thinking cause we girls or your my boss in a indirect way. anyways, i dropped the conversation. I am not sure that what i want. as my girlies says,.. what disfunction can she bring to my life??? my g/f and i talked and she made me think that i like women with lets say some flavor.. lol! well, i am not sure of the word i am looking for.. hmmmm! disfunction is good but, i am not sure that it. most 2 all the people i been interested in got something wrong with them.. whether it be mental or physical.hell do i know why i magnet to them. i definitely see my boss is an overworked workaholic.. but, it be nice to have her as a friend. there been someone i had my eye on... i just havent been able to figure out what i wanted to do about it. everyday, i changed my mind bout pushing or not. worse is i dont want to fuck up what we have now. i love her dearly like a great friend... and she great to talk with and understands stuff. i definite dont want another sally. that enough heartache to stand. i dont know why i let me get under my skin!i got a great wonderful g/f that i deeply love and forget what she looks like.. i havent seen her in like forever! sigh! our schudeles been all fucked up lately! double sigh!monday she flying out for 2 weeks and then going out agian for 2 more weeks after. i think this whole thing about sex and women is just i been lonely lately. and i don t even want sex! hell, best sex ever is from my boo! just that comfort zone.. to lay in someone arms.. to hold someone in mine. this sounds dumb but i love to hold someone.. make me feel like i am doing something.. or just laying my head on their stomach while they play with my hair. and what little i have talk to stormie lately, she sounds all depressed i like 2 think she missing me crazy too. maybe her head telling her to get rid of my dumb ass again. i sure know i havent made much effort lately. i hate feeling this way. i been playing Matchbox20 in my car like crazy.. somehow it makes me feel better!how dumb music making me feel better. i guess though.... even if its for little bits. i know i have been a bitch lately to my friends and family and work too. it doesnt help that i got little patience for my exhusband.. who biting on my last standing nerve.. we get along fine if he just was mute. yes i think that would work.. then he find some other way to annoy me. yesterday at dinner he just keeping being an complete asshole.. i told him 2 mind his business and stay out of my life and friends too. always saying something stupid. men should all be hunged!and then shot! well that this woman opinion! but, on a good note.. i think his cousin sammy is moving up .. which will help get him out of my hair and sammy can sure help me out w/ bills till i get my promotion in august sometime. then they can get their own place and leave me alone! god bless america!
i just dont know .. i feel a little better about my small tangit.. it was funny my boss said if there anything i can do to help ya got my number.. i just kept taking orders and ingored her.. sigh! why me! i need a vacation.. i gonnna go look and see if i get a airline ticket.. that make me smile i hope.. pray for me.. bye for now