This World
This world is causing me to become something I'm not (I'm a monster). Certain responsibilities are pushing me away from what I need to do(babysitting - school). No one is thinking about what I have to do for myself, and I feel trapped doing their bidding. My soul is being massacred each day, and I don't know how much longer I can hold these tears; how much longer I can restrain from doing things I know would be wrong; how much longer I can keep from going so deep that this time I won't be able to get out.
I'm also disappointed in the world - in society.
I've hit a new low this time. I know that to change the world I can only change myself, and that is a mission in it's own. But it's very difficult to be optimistic when there are so many around you trying to bring you down. They might not mean it, but they're killing me. Cold blooded murder, they don't even know it. They don't care.
Well...the time to rebuild myself will come, you can only rebuild from the bottom up right? So I'll get to the root, I must water it with my tears. When my sobs subside, I can begin to nourish myself again. And if my building falls AGAIN, well, I guess that just means I didn't do a good job AGAIN, so I have to return to square 1.
Life is grand. You know, believe it or not, a couple of days ago when I wrote that same phrase in my journal, I actually meant it. Really I did.
I'm also disappointed in the world - in society.
I've hit a new low this time. I know that to change the world I can only change myself, and that is a mission in it's own. But it's very difficult to be optimistic when there are so many around you trying to bring you down. They might not mean it, but they're killing me. Cold blooded murder, they don't even know it. They don't care.
Well...the time to rebuild myself will come, you can only rebuild from the bottom up right? So I'll get to the root, I must water it with my tears. When my sobs subside, I can begin to nourish myself again. And if my building falls AGAIN, well, I guess that just means I didn't do a good job AGAIN, so I have to return to square 1.
Life is grand. You know, believe it or not, a couple of days ago when I wrote that same phrase in my journal, I actually meant it. Really I did.