(no subject)
Title: Guys I Think Someone Put Drugs in this weed 2/3?
Crack Heads Authors: glambert813 babyglambert
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Adam/Tommy Tommy/Lamp
Summary: Crack crack cracky crack. DRUGS. Penis! TIGGER SUIT. SEX TOYS.
Disclaimer: We don't own these boys... yet.
Warnings: Drug use, drinking, complete crack, and Language.
Notes: As I said before, this is the result of when me and glambert813 put our heads together. I BEG OF YOU! Do NOT read this! It's is almost certainly PROVEN to cause CANCER. And one person banged their head against their computer while reading it. You're still reading it aren't you? Well don't say I didn't warn you...
Here is the first part:
babyglambert.livejournal.com/543.html#cutid1
Adam, Tommy and the Tigger god-slash-Rainbow platypus stared at each other full a full minute while the furniture danced around them. Tommy then shrugged and proceeded to freak dance with a lamp.
"Okaaayyyy." The Tigger god-slash-Rainbow platypus said, looking to Adam confusion on his face.
"He does that all the time." Adam waved his hand in the air flippantly. "So, Mr. Rainbow platypus, can I have your autograph?"
"I am TIGGER!!! YOU WILL BOW BEFORE ME, YOU INSOLENT HUMAN!!" Tigger roared, causing the hotel room to shake.
Tommy bounced up to them, his Tigger suit now pulled down to reveal his pale chest. "EHMAGAWD!! I knew it!"
"Tommy! Mommy and Daddy are talking! Go back to your kitty pen!" Adam ordered. Tommy skittered back over to the lamp, which was now trying to rape him.
"RRRRAAAWWWRRRR!!!!!" Tigger roared once more and Adam looked at him unimpressed.
"I don't like you." Adam said simply and Tigger just stared at him. "That means that you will soon be murdered by a shit-ton of Glamberts, all I have to do is tweet it." Adam pulled out his phone(let's not talk about where he got it from, since he was definitely naked) and waved it in Tigger's face.
The Tigger God put his hands on his hips and proceeded to give Adam a powerful: Bitch-Please look, which of course just pushed Adam over the edge.
He quickly typed a message into his phone and then closed it with a smug expression. Tommy who had been listening cowered behind the couch (which didn't work out to well because the couch was doing the macarana.) After a moment the Tigger God cracked up.
"Haha! Your stupid tweet didn't do anything!" The giant Tigger was still rolling around on the floor with laughter when Adam said, almost to himself:
"Three... two... one."
And a giant horde of glittery flying gay-men and fifteen year old girls dressed like strippers crashed through the ceiling.
"GET HIM!!!!!!" A girl with red and blue hair cried and tackled the dumbstruck Tigger. She started laughing insanely and even though Adam had set them on him, he still felt a bit bad for Tigger.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! TIGGER!!!!!!!!" Tommy screamed and ran forward in a vain attempt to save him, but Adam held him back, wrapping his arms around the blonde's waist.
"It's okay Tommy, he's evil, he wanted to eat your lollipop." Adam ran his fingers through Tommy's hair comfortingly.
"My lollipop?" Tommy squeaked, hands going to cover his crotch.
Adam cackled insanely as he watched the animal be thrown out the hotel room window. Then he stiffened as the horde of fangirls/boys turned to him, he suddenly remembered that he was very naked, thankfully Tommy was shielding the infamous glambulge with his body.
"Fuck." Tommy and Adam said together, they looked at each other eyes wide in fear. "Probably should have put some clothes on before I tweeted that." Adam said sheepishly.
But instead of attacking him, one by one, each Glamboy and Lambskank came forward and knelt down before Adam on one knee and gave him a new sex toy to show their love and adoration of Adam.
Except for one girl who refused to let go of Tommy's leg, even when he started hitting her with his tail.
After the sex toys were given however the Glambert's flew out of the whole in the ceiling with a brilliant cry of "I LOVE FAGS!" leaving a trail of glitter behind them.
Tommy and Adam looked at each other in shock then started laughing their asses off. Tommy was suddenly distracted by Adam's hair.
"It's so pretty!" Tommy squealed and attempted to climb on Adam just to get to his hair, because yes, Tommy is short and Adam is tall. Not a very good combination. "I want to eat it!" And Tommy started trying to eat Adam's hair, somehow finding a seat of his shoulders.
"But I like my hair!" Adam wailed, arms flailing trying to get the blonde off of him. After a moment both of them toppled to the ground in a tangle of limbs.
"You know what we should do?" Tommy asked after they had sorted out whose arm was whose.
"Fly?" Adam asked, completely serious.
"No!" Tommy giggled. "Lollipops can't fly! We should go out and get tattoos."
"I totes agree!" Shouted the lamp that was still leering at Tommy.
"Yeah Adam... let's get out of here. FAST."
"Agreed," Adam said, "let's get a puppy too!"
"Okayyyyyy!" Tommy squealed. (he was doing that a lot tonight) "But first! Let's get some normal clothing on!"
"OMG YAY CLOTHES! LET'S GO BACK TO MY ROOM! I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT WE SHOULD WEAR!
They hurried through the wreckage of Tommy's hotel room and down the hallway to Adam's. Thankfully no one was there to witness Adam's nakedness and Tommy's... Tiggerness. Adam told Tommy to wait as he looked through one of his suitcases.
"Aha!" Adam exclaimed as he pulled out some clothes. Tommy was bouncing on the bed and laughing like a little kid. "Come here, Tommy!" Adam commanded and as soon as Tommy got there he ripped off the Tigger suit.
"Tigger..." Tommy said sadly as he looked at the tattered remains on the floor. Adam turned him around so his back was to Adam's chest and he slid a white lace corset onto his chest, lacing it up in the back. "Purdy" Tommy said, running his hands along the fabric.
Adam giggled and held up a black skirt before kneeling on the floor and attempting to put it on Tommy while he was standing up.
"No, Adam!" Tommy whined and then yelped as Adam wrapped one arm around his legs and lifted him up enough to slide the skirt on.
"You need leggings, too. You're legs are too hairy to be a girl's." Adam said wisely.
"So shave them!" Tommy commanded.
"We don't have time." Adam shook his head. "Maybe later."
"I'm holding you to that!" Tommy declared.
"Yeah..." Adam said sadly like he was about to cry.
"What's wrong Addy?"
"It's just... YOUR TIGGER SUIT! IT'S RUINED!" the raven haired man wailed.
"Oh don't worry. I have like six." Tommy replied matter of factly.
"Oh okay!" Adam sprang up suddenly completely fine, "Now check out what I'LL be wearing..." He ran into the closet and emerged a couple of minutes later wearing fishnets on almost every surface of his body, a pink dress with a ragged but cool looking hem, high heels (as though he needed to be any taller), and a long dark wig. He was also holding a blonde wig the he immediately plopped down on Tommy's head, handing him a pair of glittery leggings and red stiletto heels, "Now you really look like a Glitterbaby! Well... more like this tranny I used to know who called herself Glitterbaby... "
"Yay! But... Babyboy?"
"Yeeeeeeees Glitterbaby?"
"Why do you have skirts and corsets in my size?"
"You're birthdays coming up right?" Adam replied completely serious.
"Umm... not sure I want to answer that.... but WAIT!" he yelled suddenly, "WE AREN'T HALLUCINATING ANYMORE!"
Just then a winged zebra appeared and started chasing them.
And it wasn't just ANY winged zebra, it was a GAY winged zebra. Instead of black and white it was every color of the rainbow and then some.
"HOLY FUCK!" Tommy yelled and ran out of the hotel room. Adam just stood there and stared at it.
"Shiny!!!" He exclaimed and ran forward to pet the thing. Of course the gay zebra wasn't shiny at all, just colorful, but Adam didn't really care.
"I have finally found you my lord!" The zebra thingy said and bowed down to Adam.
"Lord?" Adam asked.
"Yes, you are God where I come from! I have come to you to ask for assistance. Our-" The zebra thingy explained.
"I WANNA RIDE ON YOU!!" And let us ignore the implications of what Adam just said.
"Um... Whatever you say my lord!" The zebra allowed Adam to climb on his back and since Adam was wearing a dress of course he sat side-saddle.
"To find Tommy!" Adam exclaimed and pointed to the doorway.
"Ehkay..... sure." The Gay Zebra said, and pranced into the other room, only to find Tommy balled up on the floor.
"Pick him up Leopald!"
"Leopald?"
"Yes Leopald! I just named you Leopald! If I'm your God I get to do stuff like that!"
"Well it sure as heck is better than what my name was before."
"What was it before?" Tommy asked tentatively peeking out from behind his arms.
"Larry." The Zebra replied and hoisted Tommy from the ground by his skirt and onto his back.
"Well Leopald," Adam said still trying to sound al godly, "To the Tattoo parlor!"
And away they went.
Crack Heads Authors: glambert813 babyglambert
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Adam/Tommy Tommy/Lamp
Summary: Crack crack cracky crack. DRUGS. Penis! TIGGER SUIT. SEX TOYS.
Disclaimer: We don't own these boys... yet.
Warnings: Drug use, drinking, complete crack, and Language.
Notes: As I said before, this is the result of when me and glambert813 put our heads together. I BEG OF YOU! Do NOT read this! It's is almost certainly PROVEN to cause CANCER. And one person banged their head against their computer while reading it. You're still reading it aren't you? Well don't say I didn't warn you...
Here is the first part:
babyglambert.livejournal.com/543.html#cutid1
Adam, Tommy and the Tigger god-slash-Rainbow platypus stared at each other full a full minute while the furniture danced around them. Tommy then shrugged and proceeded to freak dance with a lamp.
"Okaaayyyy." The Tigger god-slash-Rainbow platypus said, looking to Adam confusion on his face.
"He does that all the time." Adam waved his hand in the air flippantly. "So, Mr. Rainbow platypus, can I have your autograph?"
"I am TIGGER!!! YOU WILL BOW BEFORE ME, YOU INSOLENT HUMAN!!" Tigger roared, causing the hotel room to shake.
Tommy bounced up to them, his Tigger suit now pulled down to reveal his pale chest. "EHMAGAWD!! I knew it!"
"Tommy! Mommy and Daddy are talking! Go back to your kitty pen!" Adam ordered. Tommy skittered back over to the lamp, which was now trying to rape him.
"RRRRAAAWWWRRRR!!!!!" Tigger roared once more and Adam looked at him unimpressed.
"I don't like you." Adam said simply and Tigger just stared at him. "That means that you will soon be murdered by a shit-ton of Glamberts, all I have to do is tweet it." Adam pulled out his phone(let's not talk about where he got it from, since he was definitely naked) and waved it in Tigger's face.
The Tigger God put his hands on his hips and proceeded to give Adam a powerful: Bitch-Please look, which of course just pushed Adam over the edge.
He quickly typed a message into his phone and then closed it with a smug expression. Tommy who had been listening cowered behind the couch (which didn't work out to well because the couch was doing the macarana.) After a moment the Tigger God cracked up.
"Haha! Your stupid tweet didn't do anything!" The giant Tigger was still rolling around on the floor with laughter when Adam said, almost to himself:
"Three... two... one."
And a giant horde of glittery flying gay-men and fifteen year old girls dressed like strippers crashed through the ceiling.
"GET HIM!!!!!!" A girl with red and blue hair cried and tackled the dumbstruck Tigger. She started laughing insanely and even though Adam had set them on him, he still felt a bit bad for Tigger.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! TIGGER!!!!!!!!" Tommy screamed and ran forward in a vain attempt to save him, but Adam held him back, wrapping his arms around the blonde's waist.
"It's okay Tommy, he's evil, he wanted to eat your lollipop." Adam ran his fingers through Tommy's hair comfortingly.
"My lollipop?" Tommy squeaked, hands going to cover his crotch.
Adam cackled insanely as he watched the animal be thrown out the hotel room window. Then he stiffened as the horde of fangirls/boys turned to him, he suddenly remembered that he was very naked, thankfully Tommy was shielding the infamous glambulge with his body.
"Fuck." Tommy and Adam said together, they looked at each other eyes wide in fear. "Probably should have put some clothes on before I tweeted that." Adam said sheepishly.
But instead of attacking him, one by one, each Glamboy and Lambskank came forward and knelt down before Adam on one knee and gave him a new sex toy to show their love and adoration of Adam.
Except for one girl who refused to let go of Tommy's leg, even when he started hitting her with his tail.
After the sex toys were given however the Glambert's flew out of the whole in the ceiling with a brilliant cry of "I LOVE FAGS!" leaving a trail of glitter behind them.
Tommy and Adam looked at each other in shock then started laughing their asses off. Tommy was suddenly distracted by Adam's hair.
"It's so pretty!" Tommy squealed and attempted to climb on Adam just to get to his hair, because yes, Tommy is short and Adam is tall. Not a very good combination. "I want to eat it!" And Tommy started trying to eat Adam's hair, somehow finding a seat of his shoulders.
"But I like my hair!" Adam wailed, arms flailing trying to get the blonde off of him. After a moment both of them toppled to the ground in a tangle of limbs.
"You know what we should do?" Tommy asked after they had sorted out whose arm was whose.
"Fly?" Adam asked, completely serious.
"No!" Tommy giggled. "Lollipops can't fly! We should go out and get tattoos."
"I totes agree!" Shouted the lamp that was still leering at Tommy.
"Yeah Adam... let's get out of here. FAST."
"Agreed," Adam said, "let's get a puppy too!"
"Okayyyyyy!" Tommy squealed. (he was doing that a lot tonight) "But first! Let's get some normal clothing on!"
"OMG YAY CLOTHES! LET'S GO BACK TO MY ROOM! I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT WE SHOULD WEAR!
They hurried through the wreckage of Tommy's hotel room and down the hallway to Adam's. Thankfully no one was there to witness Adam's nakedness and Tommy's... Tiggerness. Adam told Tommy to wait as he looked through one of his suitcases.
"Aha!" Adam exclaimed as he pulled out some clothes. Tommy was bouncing on the bed and laughing like a little kid. "Come here, Tommy!" Adam commanded and as soon as Tommy got there he ripped off the Tigger suit.
"Tigger..." Tommy said sadly as he looked at the tattered remains on the floor. Adam turned him around so his back was to Adam's chest and he slid a white lace corset onto his chest, lacing it up in the back. "Purdy" Tommy said, running his hands along the fabric.
Adam giggled and held up a black skirt before kneeling on the floor and attempting to put it on Tommy while he was standing up.
"No, Adam!" Tommy whined and then yelped as Adam wrapped one arm around his legs and lifted him up enough to slide the skirt on.
"You need leggings, too. You're legs are too hairy to be a girl's." Adam said wisely.
"So shave them!" Tommy commanded.
"We don't have time." Adam shook his head. "Maybe later."
"I'm holding you to that!" Tommy declared.
"Yeah..." Adam said sadly like he was about to cry.
"What's wrong Addy?"
"It's just... YOUR TIGGER SUIT! IT'S RUINED!" the raven haired man wailed.
"Oh don't worry. I have like six." Tommy replied matter of factly.
"Oh okay!" Adam sprang up suddenly completely fine, "Now check out what I'LL be wearing..." He ran into the closet and emerged a couple of minutes later wearing fishnets on almost every surface of his body, a pink dress with a ragged but cool looking hem, high heels (as though he needed to be any taller), and a long dark wig. He was also holding a blonde wig the he immediately plopped down on Tommy's head, handing him a pair of glittery leggings and red stiletto heels, "Now you really look like a Glitterbaby! Well... more like this tranny I used to know who called herself Glitterbaby... "
"Yay! But... Babyboy?"
"Yeeeeeeees Glitterbaby?"
"Why do you have skirts and corsets in my size?"
"You're birthdays coming up right?" Adam replied completely serious.
"Umm... not sure I want to answer that.... but WAIT!" he yelled suddenly, "WE AREN'T HALLUCINATING ANYMORE!"
Just then a winged zebra appeared and started chasing them.
And it wasn't just ANY winged zebra, it was a GAY winged zebra. Instead of black and white it was every color of the rainbow and then some.
"HOLY FUCK!" Tommy yelled and ran out of the hotel room. Adam just stood there and stared at it.
"Shiny!!!" He exclaimed and ran forward to pet the thing. Of course the gay zebra wasn't shiny at all, just colorful, but Adam didn't really care.
"I have finally found you my lord!" The zebra thingy said and bowed down to Adam.
"Lord?" Adam asked.
"Yes, you are God where I come from! I have come to you to ask for assistance. Our-" The zebra thingy explained.
"I WANNA RIDE ON YOU!!" And let us ignore the implications of what Adam just said.
"Um... Whatever you say my lord!" The zebra allowed Adam to climb on his back and since Adam was wearing a dress of course he sat side-saddle.
"To find Tommy!" Adam exclaimed and pointed to the doorway.
"Ehkay..... sure." The Gay Zebra said, and pranced into the other room, only to find Tommy balled up on the floor.
"Pick him up Leopald!"
"Leopald?"
"Yes Leopald! I just named you Leopald! If I'm your God I get to do stuff like that!"
"Well it sure as heck is better than what my name was before."
"What was it before?" Tommy asked tentatively peeking out from behind his arms.
"Larry." The Zebra replied and hoisted Tommy from the ground by his skirt and onto his back.
"Well Leopald," Adam said still trying to sound al godly, "To the Tattoo parlor!"
And away they went.