new start
Emotional unstability, counting down the days, the hours and the minutes of how long this is going to surpass me. Maybe even the years it could reach till the feeling of sadness, pain, anger and tears will finally disappear. The 5 year game is over, no more of what was or what could have been but reminiscing the moments that are possibly worth cherishing because that split second I smile and I laugh...fond memories with the downfall of disappointments along the way.
Tired brain, an anguished heart...it is going to heal but time is patience and it has to end right now but the pain that is endured is a long process that its on shut down...anticipating is it over? The answer is no, cause the smiles are not there but the distance and the day dreaming is. Resulting to endless tears, prayers and questions...but there is no point to understand, to question each other's motives and to even waste tears. Sick of trips down memory lane, avoiding routes and taking detours...running away from flashbacks of what once was. The wound is in its process of healing and when it is fully recovered the heart will be restored.
Now your deleted and discarded...its the best way forward...but I am longing to hear that tone, anticipating a missed call and waiting for you to say 'how are u?'...this is the first and the longest I ain't heard nothing...
Is there any harm in saying ' I miss you' because I do...is it wrong to say I don't want you part of my life now and in the future, am I selfish not wanting to hear about your life and how happy you are. I'm number one, this is about prorities and what that underlines is no more you...no more me...no more us.