not knowing what to say

[babygirl858]

My grandma just called to tell me that our cousin is really sick. The doctors say he may not make it through the night. He's dying of stomach cancer. I'm not sure of how to feel. I mean, besides the obvious emotions. I didn't really know him very well, but I still feel bad. I am pretty close to his kids. But, I don't know what to say to them or to him. We can't go to the funeral....maybe that's a good thing. I hate funerals. I don't like those to be my last memories of someone that I really cared about. Well, I have to try and be there for my mom and the rest of the family the best way I know how, whatever that is...

Goodbye four-leaf clovers, Hello Gone Awry
Don't cry, the fight ain't over, unless you let it pass you by

I'm looking for a song to sing
I'm looking for a friend to borrow
I'm looking for my radio, so I might find a heart to follow
I've never been just longin' for your lovin'
I've never been just wearin' down to nothin'
I've never been just lookin' for a reason, so that maybe you'd be thinkin' of me

All that I have found in reason, is reason just to not believe
When all that you are left is treason
Is treason just to let it be?

I'm looking for a song to sing
I'm looking for a friend to borrow
I'm looking for my radio, so I might find a heart to follow
I've never been just longin' for your lovin'
I've never been just wearin' down to nothin'
I've never been just lookin' for a reason, so that maybe you'd be thinkin' of...

These blue yonder dreams and second hand shoes
You're so far gone that you live to lose
It's too late to go home all alone
You're the tar in that old cigar
And the worn out cable on a cable car
You're too tired to admit you've got to choose

"No one can hear, but you're screaming so loud...you feel like you're all alone in a faceless crowd..."