My Baby (A JMac Story) Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Fifteen - "Gone":
~~On the Bus~~
~~Jesse’s POV~~
As I walked onto the bus, I felt as if all the guys knew and were staring at me. Keeping my head down, I walked back to my bunk and that’s where I’ve stayed. Just thinking everything over. I’ve repeated her telling me so many times already. And it never gets better. Am I mad? Definitely! Who am I mad at exactly? That is the million dollar question Alex. Which might be why I was so calm and quick to forgive and forget. I sigh heavily and roll over onto my side as my phone vibrates yet again.
I pick it up. A text message. From Shawn. I sigh again and toss my phone to the other side of the bunk. We’ve already been on the road for about two hours. I keep trying to get some sleep but my thoughts keep stopping me from being able to do so. All I see when I close my eyes is her and Chris. Them kissing. Them smiling at each other. Him smiling at me behind her back with a triumphant grin. That’s where my eyes always spring open. I sigh again.
He didn’t win right? I mean, she is still my girlfriend. But will she still want to be after she’s had time to fully process the kiss? Can we truly get past this and just move on? Too many questions that don’t have answers. And the more I try to think of answers for them, I just come up with even more questions.
I roll back over onto my back. Looking directly above me, my eyes meeting a picture of us. Taken the first day of the tour, neither of us aware that Greg had even brought a camera that day. I study her face carefully. Like I’ve done so many times before. So many times already today. And coming up with the same conclusion, I close my eyes again and will my mind to shut off for the last hours of the ride to Kansas City.
Even a blind man could see the love radiating off her, and me too actually, in that picture. And finally I fall into a restless sleep, but sleep nonetheless.
~~Frankie’s POV~~
I think we all knew that something happened between Shawn, Chris, and Jesse. We just didn’t know what. We being myself and Matt. I’m ok with being left in the dark until someone felt the need to fill me in, if it was ever felt that is. Matt, however, hates to be left out. Therefore, as Greg was in the front of the bus playing his guitar and Chris and Jesse were both sleeping in their bunks, that left me to hear and deal with Matt’s ‘whining’ about not knowing what was going on, in the back of the bus.
“Are you even listening to me?” I look over at him and sigh.
“Matt. Again, it’s none of our business, if there is even something going on. They are all old enough to figure it out on their own. If any of them need us to know, they will tell us. So, just chill and let me watch my movie.” I turn back to the tv as he crosses his arms over his chest and slouches into the couch with a pout. I shake my head at his behavior and watch the movie.
~~Chris’ POV~~
I wish that I could have been the first one on the bus, just so that I could have avoided the questions as I walked through the front to my bunk. From the sounds of it Frankie and Matt were the only ones on the bus so far, so that was good. Just meant that I could get to my bunk and hide out till we reached the next venue. Hopefully getting some more sleep.
And that’s where I’ve been since. In my bunk. Trying to sleep. Though sleep was evading me at the moment. I heard when Greg and then Jesse came onto the bus. Greg quickly telling Matt and Frank not to ask Jesse anything. I hope they took that as he was just taking it hard that Shawn left. I really don’t need any of my other friends mad at me. Though I know that logically they will all know eventually. And then the rest of this tour will be hell for me, I’m sure.
But right now, no matter how hard I tried, and I was trying, I couldn’t get that kiss our of my mind. The way her lips felt on mine. Their softness, perfect shape, how they moved with mine. It was all just so, in one simple word, perfect. But I can’t be thinking or feeling this way. She’s one of your best friends’ girlfriends. She’s not your’s to kiss or thinking about kissing. You have to get her out of your head for good!
I sigh for the millionth, billionth, who really knows how many, time and roll over onto my stomach. Turning my head to face the wall as I hear yet another soft buzzing sound, indicating a phone vibrating. Being able to hear Greg strumming his guitar, and Frankie and Matt talking and watching tv, I knew it was Jesse’s phone. Meaning that it was also Shawn that he was talking to.
Just close your eyes, and forget about her. She’s not meant to be with you. She’s with Jesse and will always be with Jesse. The one kiss is all you’ll ever have with her and you weren’t even suppose to have it. So, just leave any thought, hope, and dream of you and her ever being together in that hotel room in St. Louis.
With that final thought, I closed my eyes, and drifted into a dreamless sleep for the first time since Shawn walked into my life.
~~Greg’s POV~~
To say that I was shocked that Jesse wasn’t mad, well as least didn’t let her know he was mad, would be a huge understatement. I figured that he would have at least looked upset and hurt. Though, I’m very glad and proud of him for taking the high, more mature, road. But he is only fourteen and could get away with acting mad, hurt, upset, and even irrational about his girlfriend telling him she just kissed someone else. No one would have judged him or thought bad of him for it. Most would have even thought it to be justified. And from the look on her face, when he said they should be able to move past it, well she definitely wasn’t expecting such a reaction from him either. Especially not the one that she got and he gave.
As promised, I’ve been texting her since we both left St. Louis. And now she’s frustrated because Jesse hasn’t answered any of her texts. I was finally able to calm her down and confirm that it was a good thing that Jesse reacted the way he did. Though I can’t help thinking, like she is, that he’s hiding what he’s really feeling just because he wants to protect her from knowing just how hurt he really is. Or even because he does love her enough to hide the hurt and pain and try to act like it never happened. I’m really going to have to talk to him to find out. It’s never good to keep something like this all bottled up.
So, I’ve just been sitting up front, by myself, messing around on my guitar and texting Shawn. I saw Matt and Frankie briefly before they went to the back to watch a movie or play a video game or whatever. I haven’t seen Chris at all but I know that he’s hiding out from Jesse, still thinking that he’s mad at him. Which he might be, I’m not too sure. And then Jesse is in his bunk, I know he’s awake, I keep hearing him moving around, but he’s ignoring Shawn. Though I can’t say that I blame him. But the least he could do is text her saying that he’s going to sleep. Even if he’s not actually able to. Thus leaving me to calm her down and reassure her that he’s just trying to get some sleep since we were all up so late last night.
I sigh as my phone goes off yet again. I pick it up and view the new message. “You’re sure that he’s sleeping?” I sigh again, hating to lie to her. So, I get up and walk to his bunk.
“Jess? You up man?” After not hearing anything or receiving an answer for a few minutes, I slowly open his curtain. And sure enough, he’s finally asleep. I quickly text her letting her know. And promising to have him text or call as soon as he wakes up.
As I turn to close his curtain and leave, I see his phone, tossed haphazardly down by his feet. I softly and quietly grab it and look at the screen after unlocking it. ‘26 messages.’ I shake my head. He really needs to figure this all out soon. He just can’t keep ignoring her like this. I toss his phone back down where it had been, close the curtain, and walk back up to the front.