skrew it

[babygirl429]

sry i havent written lately...ive been really upset with nothing to do and all i think about is how skrewed up my life is..i lost one of the ppl i love the most in my life bcuz of where our houses are...he asked me what i ment when i said he'd never kno how much i loved him and thats bcuz words cannot describe all the love i have for him ..i dont kno how im living right now without having him to talk to all the time and even though we arent together we still talk but we are getting farther and farther apart and my heart is breaking more and more..ill still never take off my neclace bcuz i couldnt do that i already cry at night and that would b worse...all i wish he would kno is how much i really do care and how much my heart is broken (twice) even though i cant hold him back with me theres no way that he would ever leave that huge piece of my heart he has...i have my friends and stef to keep my hopes up but they really arent that high since half of my heart is missing with out him in my life all i have are hopes of having him back but if thats not something he wants i wont keep hopeing...ive never felt like this about ne1 b4 and i dont kno if i ever will again but im pretty sure hes my first love..sorta..no1 belives me when i said that i love him and how much i care about him and even my parents tried to brake us up...but that didnt stop me..he did...my parents told me to date some1 at my skool and i was told to forget about him bcuz it would never last and i ignored what they said bcuz of how deep i feel (or felt) but my love will never change nomatter what happens and my heart would jsut crush more when he finds some1 else to love but i doubt that ne1 will love him as much as i do and i will never forget the times i had with him...even when i didnt see him. i kno this is pitiful idc!

i love u ..gaven
~*~Jessica~*~