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[babygasups]

Are you kidding me? I was like halfway through an entry... and now it's gone. No worries. I shall rewrite.

I've got a couple of reasons for writing this entry. Number one: today is my nineteenth birthday. Number two: I drank a lot of coffee and am not really tired at all.

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Chi Omega = amazing. My pledge class is fantastic. I've got

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[_dalliance]

Oh how much we have in common, sweet pea (as in "a pea in the pod"). Darlin, what they don't tell you is that there are as many crappy professors in theatre as there are in every other major. A couple of the worst professors I ever had were some theatre teachers. But the good wayyyyyyyyy outweighed the bad in my case. What class are you taking that you aren't enjoying so much? I'd like a little more detail about it, and why you aren't connecting with it (emilyjb7@yahoo.com if ya want to talk about it).

I have always hated improv. I auditioned for the improv troupe in school, and the audition itself was one of the most mortifying experiences of my life (and I didn't get in, of course). What I didn't realize is that I didn't understand what improv really is, nor do most people. It's not getting up and saying funny things and being funny. In fact, if you try to do that, you probably AREN'T gonna be funny. It's reacting honestly in the moment, and being open enough to GO THERE when the spirit moves you.

I'll tell you how Mama learned about improv -- it's the last semester my senior year of college. I had a callback for a huge, juicy part in AN INSPECTOR CALLS. I was familiar with the script, and was prepared to go in and read scenes (in a British dialect, no less). Imagine my shock when the director said, "We're not going to do readings. I want to see your real acting ability, not just how well you know the script or how good your dialect is." But she gave me improv the way I'd never seen it before -- all we could say were lines from nursery rhymes. All of a sudden, I felt free!!! I didn't have to THINK OF WHAT TO SAY!!!! The words were there for me. I could act around the words, and use the words to get what I wanted...does that sound familiar? Sound like what acting textbooks say? It's because when you get right down to it, ALL ACTING IS IMPROV. You may have these words to say that you didn't make up, but you have to get in between them. It's like playing an instrument -- I can play the same notes that Vladimir Horowitz does but it sure doesn't sound the same. Because he is a master at the instrument, he can play around the notes, and use the notes for his own purpose. The notes are just notes.

anyway, the point of this whole rant is that the improv is good for you, if you look at it as a way to develop reaction. I am rehearsing a play right now, and have not been able to cry in this one part. But on Saturday, the other guy in the scene said the line in a different way and THANK GOD I was open enough and in the moment enough to notice and respond. My response -- the tears that wouldn't come when I was so focused on searching for them.Because I stopped focusing on myself and started focusing on him, I wasn't self-conscious and I had a natural reaction. Take the focus off yourself. Don't doubt that you will have nothing to say in the moment, or that a reaction won't come. It will -- IF you stop paying so much attention to yourself and observe others. Pursue objectives and tactics seriously, and the humor will be there. Human behavior is inherently funny. Trust it.

I'm done. I hope all is well. I remember my freshman year running around like a mad woman between pledge class meetings and rehearsals. It was one of the best times of college. Enjoy it!

[babygasups]

Whoa Mama!

Well, the professor that I'm hating on only teaches the one intro. class that I'm in right now. So after this I won't have to deal with him anymore. I kind of figure that if I survive him still wanting to be a major, then I'll be good to go.

The beginning of this term was crazy stressful for me. Actually, this entire term has been crazy stressful for me.

Part of the whole theatre thing was also just not feeling like I belong(ed) with the whole group of theatre majors (who all compose the improv troupe). With the other things that I have gotten involved in people have been nothing but helpful, encouraging, and loving. I really liked the troupe when I joined at first, but then I entered into this phase where I just felt like I didn't belong and that they didn't like me. And not feeling like I belong in something as intimate as an improv troupe (hey - I feel that it's pretty intimate) makes it really hard to perform and just let things flow out (which I feel I am usually good at). I was just closing myself off to them because I didn't feel welcome in the troupe... like I didn't have a place.

But things are much much much better now. I feel much more comfortable. And I'm having more fun.

Whoa - you're amazing.

F3TUS loves the Mama.