(no subject)
all my doubts are subsided now..we talked about it and i told that i was scared i was loosing him. he made sure that i knew i wasnt and that everything between us was perfect like usual and that the times hes different towards me is when hes aggravated with my mom and when he gets paranoid that im gonna leave him. im trying my best to convince him that im not going to because i dont want anyone else and theres nothing in this world that could take me away from him. he means everything to me. we took my mom to the hospital last night because her neck was hurting really bad. when me & him were sitting in the waitin room i asked him y he wanted to marry me. he said because he loves me, knows he can trust me, loves being with me, is pretty sure we'll last a long time and im the only person hes ever thought he could spend the rest of his life with, and he thinks ill be a good mother. then he said that i treat him good, i told him that i didnt think i did because majority of the little arguments we have are started by me because i say something stupid or i take things to personally. he was like "look, i dont sit here and worry about if ure cheating on me, you dont stress me out, you dont ignore me or make me just constantly worry about you. so yes you do treat me good and thats the first thing i tell people when they ask me about you." it really made me feel good and i know i need to work on saying stupid stuff & learn to takes things as jokes like theyre supposed to be. then after that he got really quiet and when he does that i know hes thinking about something big so i asked him what it was and he said that he wished he had the money to get a ring cause hed ask me to marry him. he asked me what i would think of that and i told him id be really really really happy. so after he left i started thinking about the fact that personally it shouldnt take a ring to know how much someone loves you & thats the point of getting engaged. buying a ring kinda seems like theyre just tryin to buy their love..so today i talked to my friend amanda and she had told her boyfriend the same thing and stacey said it too. when i talked to josh today i told him that. he said that you need a ring to be engaged and i was just like no you really dont i dont need that to know you love me. so then he asked me what i would think of us gettin married before he goes to bootcamp. i repeated it like 3 times just to make sure he wasnt meaning to say engaged. so i told him id be fine with it and be realllllly happy. he said he doesnt think i would be and that hes scared i might think he was trying to trap me into something and id end wanting to get out of it by time hes in the airforce. i told him i wouldnt change my mind because i dont want to be with anyone else. im not sure he believes me but im hoping he does because i mean it with all my heart. i would love to marry him whether its in the next 3 months or the next 3 years because im just soo sure that hes not going anywhere. man i cant believe im soo happy about this. i actually thought id get kinda scared once the time came to start talking about marriage but im sooo ecstatic about it..
are we moving to fast?? i think not!!!