Dec 13, 2007 17:53
The paradoxical thing about my life is that I hate human nature and mistrust people for the most part, but I am utterly FASCINATED by it all. And so people are my profession.
It's like when I was a kid and would watch hours and hours of documentaries on sharks and tornados and earthquakes, have nightmares about it all, and then keep on watching the next day.
Of course I'm finding it less upsetting now because emotion has been taken out of the equation.
Perhaps I'm a little more sadistic than I thought. Especially when it comes to me and my personal life. I haven't invested in anyone in years. This bothers me increasingly lately.
I'm fucking pissed off. I'm not about to hold anyone's hand today and tell them "Aw its okay that so-and-so bruised your ego. Here let me throw myself at you verbally and get emotionally wrapped up in telling you how wonderful you are even though you don't really give a shit about what I have to say and are probably just waiting for your turn to speak." Nuts.