(no subject)

[babyfangs136]

im sitting here

counting all the things i fear

a million and two including you

i fear your gone youve faded

yet you never were too close

inside my soul is empty

please come and rescue me

i thought you loved me..hmm guess not

i lay here now.. my soul to rot

im crying again

looking back to then

i used to be happy.. dont know what happened..

im crying again looking back to then

wtf is my problem im a fucking idiotic child with a screen infront of my face
yesterday i saw robbie and tia and mandy and stinky and cam and lily and shaina and i thought seeing them would make me happy.. it did really.. and i love them lots but for some reason today i think it finally hit me that i will never be as happy as i was in october03 i was truly happy then and nothing got me upset but not now.. now i cry alot and i started cutting myself again and i just dont know what to do.. i really cant stand myself like this.. and i think its making everyone else start to hate me too.. im complaining alot ans shit.. and i really dont mean to... but i really do think its turning people away from me..
FUCK..im crying... again