Texty tale of perseverance
I'd been sitting around, waiting for fame to come to me, but surprise, surprise, fame didn't knock. So I actually started feeling saddled with my awesome, lightning-powered ride. What the funk? Of course you have to make your own luck in this world, so I got off the bean-bag, put down the bong, stood up, took a deep breath and resolved to go on a multi-pronged media assault.
Goal 1: Get the Juicer in a prominent window.
This was going to take some boldness that is severely lacking in my character. I first took the bike to swanky Melrose avenue and accosted shopkeepers with my sales-pitch. Here's a paraphrasing of me getting laughed out of a hipster vintage clothing shop;
BFM: Hi. Are you guys the buyers for the store?
Shopgirl: Uh huh.
BFM: I have an interesting item I'd like you to consider for your window.
Shopgirl: Uh, well we can't promise any particular clothing item will end up in the window.
BFM: Ah, but this is not a clothing item.
Shopgirl: (Sigh) What is it?
BFM: An old-timey styled electric motorbike!
Shopgirl: No, if we want a motorcycle, we have a sister-shop two doors down, full of bikes.
BFM: Yeah, but those bike are a dime-a-dozen. If you just take ten steps to the door you'll see that my bike is one-of-a-kind!
Shopgirl: Uh, my boyfriend runs that shop, and his bikes are not "a-dime-a-dozen."
BFM: Well I really put my foot in it there.
Then I tried some trendy shops at Sunset Junction here in Echo Park. No joy.
Next stop was Main Street in Santa Monica. I thought I'd have a good chance here because it's full of well-to-do lefty bike-riders. After a few doors in the face I zero'd in on Jadis, a prop-shop full of steampunk artifacts, and a fixture of the neighborhood. Long story short, I did not convince the owner to give me his window, but, as a fellow eco-fiend and connected co-conspiritor, Mel invited me to his exclusive chess-meet where he would introduce me to the VP of plug-in America. So days later I met Paul who destroyed me at chess. But the humiliation on the chessboard was worth it because he lead me to the owner of Hollywood Electrics where the Juicer would finally find a home. Sometimes when you lose, you win. Who knew, networking works.
Goal 2: Get Merch.
If any of you are considering using a fulfilment service for your clothing designs, after some research, I can recommend spreadshirt. They have the capacity to print long-lasting flex and flock designs from vector art using a plotter. Their site is a little buggy, but, unbelieveably, they reviewed my files repeatedly long before any money changed hands. Anyway, I resolve to form a brand that will be the Ed Hardy of nerd-wear. (You, know I've often fantasized of painting a picture of Sailor Jerry punching Christian Audiger in the face.)
Anyway, my apparel store is here
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Goal 3: Get a picture of the Juicer to travel around the world
In the automotive world, the traditional way to do this is to have some hottie perch on your product. So a few weeks ago at my regular sketch class I screwed up the courage to actually speak to the model. Why? Because I thought she exemplified an updated version of the flapper-era look. Plus she has great gams.
She said she does model for photographs and she gave me her card. A week later we're at the river shooting her pale fineness draped over my lovely mochine.
This is the picture I thought had the most legs.
Okay, I may not be on the short list for feminist of the year, but c'mon people, polar bears are drowning! We have to use the big guns on this one. All tools of persuasion are on the table in this battle of minds. What tool is better suited to appeal to the snake-brained eco-offenders other than sex-appeal? That was a dashing sentance.
So here's where you come in, dear reader; I need each of you to find a reason to post, blog, tweet or otherwise spread an image from this gallery. I'm only hanging onto this LiveJournal account for two reasons; one, because of the download_CD community, and two, because of 0acideyes0, 47bigchief, ariotstorm, auto_ledy, auxilium, cksi, creill, crowjake, foxestacado, haeddre, intothewild206, k17k, kat_bateman, katetritto, kurara, lifegrd31, llpurpleskyll, lola_is_a_comic, lovelyliability, m0leeneque, miltonjames, morrigun, one_dollar_plus, pickle_press, pinkplasticgun, sbt, sein316, sexylytdybrto, shavenwarthog, skippyvagge, sputnik_terror, tatltael4, thinkingmad, tonight_23, topbaby, tupacashakur, used_bandaid, yourstrulytessa, zopi_the_clone.
I believe in you, Live Journalists. Viva Ellejay!