(no subject)
So thats yet another PROMISE you broke today. No, its okay, I forgive you. I know you couldn't help it. But you know what, DON'T PROMISE me things you aren't certain of okay. DON'T FUCKING GIVE ME HOPE AND TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME.
I'm trying to be as understanding and as fucking sweet I can possibly be. BUT I'M HUMAN OKAY. I'm FUCKING HUMAN. I'm not a toy, my heart isn't made of wood and guess what? I have fucking feelings too. I have feelings. I'm not dead inside, I'm not numb as much as I want to be. So please stop doing this to me okay? You don't know how much its hurting. You don't know how hard it is to try to look happy. You don't know how much I want to die so that the pain would just stop.
I never thought the end of my fairytale would come so soon. Its fucking unfair that I finally find my one and only, the one I want to live with and love for the rest of my life and you just take it away from me like that. Its un-fucking-fair. Guess its really retribution for being a bitch and laughing at unfortunate people with big noses or hitting toads with golfballs and all the bad things I've done all my life. But you know what? I'm the fucking best girlfriend I can be. I might not be a perfect girlfriend, but I thought I was good enough. I guess I was wrong. Boy was I so fucking wrong.
Why can't someone be devoted to me? Why must everyone just leave when they fucking want to? Why can't someone love me more than I love them, just for once. But I don't want that someone to be just anyone, I want that someone to be you.
You know, I thought I almost had the old you there for a second.
But I guess I was really wrong.
What am I going to do with myself now?
I've lived my life according to yours.
I've planned my schedules to fit yours.
I'm now an empty void waiting for you.
But somehow I'm really afraid that you won't come back to me.
I'm really afraid that my waiting would be wasted.
I thought you were my one and only.
I still do.
I still think you're the one for me.
But really, shouldn't this be two-sided?
FUCK IT,
I'm so sick of this life.
I really am.
I might have promised some of you somethings,
but hey, I learnt that promises can indeed be broken.
Why my parents had to adopt a daughter like me is a wonder to me.
I really pity them.
I really really do.
I'm so sorry they had to end up with me.
I'm the worst waste of flesh ever born.
They should give all the good parts of me to someone who needs it.
You know, YOU made me believe in true love again.
You made me believe that there was really one person out there made for another.
Why did you have to take all this away from me.
I'm empty and I want you to fill me.
But I and everyone else knows that you don't want to.
I'm really fucking pathetic aren't I.
And after all this, guess what?
I still love you and I'm still gonna be waiting.
Yes say Hello to the biggest goddamn loser on this planet.
I'm trying to be as understanding and as fucking sweet I can possibly be. BUT I'M HUMAN OKAY. I'm FUCKING HUMAN. I'm not a toy, my heart isn't made of wood and guess what? I have fucking feelings too. I have feelings. I'm not dead inside, I'm not numb as much as I want to be. So please stop doing this to me okay? You don't know how much its hurting. You don't know how hard it is to try to look happy. You don't know how much I want to die so that the pain would just stop.
I never thought the end of my fairytale would come so soon. Its fucking unfair that I finally find my one and only, the one I want to live with and love for the rest of my life and you just take it away from me like that. Its un-fucking-fair. Guess its really retribution for being a bitch and laughing at unfortunate people with big noses or hitting toads with golfballs and all the bad things I've done all my life. But you know what? I'm the fucking best girlfriend I can be. I might not be a perfect girlfriend, but I thought I was good enough. I guess I was wrong. Boy was I so fucking wrong.
Why can't someone be devoted to me? Why must everyone just leave when they fucking want to? Why can't someone love me more than I love them, just for once. But I don't want that someone to be just anyone, I want that someone to be you.
You know, I thought I almost had the old you there for a second.
But I guess I was really wrong.
What am I going to do with myself now?
I've lived my life according to yours.
I've planned my schedules to fit yours.
I'm now an empty void waiting for you.
But somehow I'm really afraid that you won't come back to me.
I'm really afraid that my waiting would be wasted.
I thought you were my one and only.
I still do.
I still think you're the one for me.
But really, shouldn't this be two-sided?
FUCK IT,
I'm so sick of this life.
I really am.
I might have promised some of you somethings,
but hey, I learnt that promises can indeed be broken.
Why my parents had to adopt a daughter like me is a wonder to me.
I really pity them.
I really really do.
I'm so sorry they had to end up with me.
I'm the worst waste of flesh ever born.
They should give all the good parts of me to someone who needs it.
You know, YOU made me believe in true love again.
You made me believe that there was really one person out there made for another.
Why did you have to take all this away from me.
I'm empty and I want you to fill me.
But I and everyone else knows that you don't want to.
I'm really fucking pathetic aren't I.
And after all this, guess what?
I still love you and I'm still gonna be waiting.
Yes say Hello to the biggest goddamn loser on this planet.