I FIND MYSELF...
lieing to myself a lot
doing things that i know could hurt someone i really care about
using alcohol for my escape
running away from anything that can possibly make me happy...only because i know it the end it will hurt me
happy eventhough i run from it im happy knowing that i wont be hurt later by anything in my life now
running from everyone who tries to be close to me
excitingly anticipating the moment i see him again
wishing that i knew what was between me and him
wanting to wake up in his arms again
wanting everything that i have spent the last 9 months running away from just to be with him...
how do i stick around when ive ran from it from so long? is it even possible? is it even what he wants? im really happy with my life at the moment...i have my friends who i can run to i have those who i can lay next to through the night when i want to cuddle...i know what i want to do with my life i have everything planned out yet im worried about it not working out but i dont see why it wouldnt...anyways the point is am i willing to risk my happiness now to be with him? im sorry to those who are completely clueless about this entry but um yeah sorry...
anyways i have to get back to my homework i have a shitload of homework...woohoo...i love you all and ill talk to you later
Jenessa Lynn
P.S. feel free to add on to the i find myself's:)
doing things that i know could hurt someone i really care about
using alcohol for my escape
running away from anything that can possibly make me happy...only because i know it the end it will hurt me
happy eventhough i run from it im happy knowing that i wont be hurt later by anything in my life now
running from everyone who tries to be close to me
excitingly anticipating the moment i see him again
wishing that i knew what was between me and him
wanting to wake up in his arms again
wanting everything that i have spent the last 9 months running away from just to be with him...
how do i stick around when ive ran from it from so long? is it even possible? is it even what he wants? im really happy with my life at the moment...i have my friends who i can run to i have those who i can lay next to through the night when i want to cuddle...i know what i want to do with my life i have everything planned out yet im worried about it not working out but i dont see why it wouldnt...anyways the point is am i willing to risk my happiness now to be with him? im sorry to those who are completely clueless about this entry but um yeah sorry...
anyways i have to get back to my homework i have a shitload of homework...woohoo...i love you all and ill talk to you later
Jenessa Lynn
P.S. feel free to add on to the i find myself's:)