What Kate WON'T Do Whilst in Labour
Now that the Duchess of Cambridge is finally in labour, I thought it might be fun to speculate on how the prim and proper Kate might fare whilst bringing the heir of the British throne into the world.
Here we go!
1. She won't tell Wills to f*ck off or growl "Don't touch me!" when he tries to comfort her mid-contraction
2. She won't moo like a cow or poo herself when the baby's crowning
3. She won't be wearing a £5 Primark nightie she has to chuck out afterwards due to it being bloodied beyond recognition
4. She won't be told by the midwives to "try and last a little longer" without pain relief
5. She won't stare at her reflection and cry "I look like sh*t!!!" because her hair & make-up team will be on 24-hr call
6. She won't be in a ward with other women and made to walk to the corridor for her food
7. She won't be sent home because she's not dilated enough
8. Shw won't get Will to run to Asda for more cheap undies because she's bled through the 10 pairs she brought
9. She won't be visited by Bounty on the ward after the baby comes (UK mamas know what I mean) ;-)
10. She won't wail "I'll never be thin again!" or show the kid photos of her pre-baby body whilst crying, "Look at me! I was hot before you came along!"
Feel free to add more in the comments! :-)
Here we go!
1. She won't tell Wills to f*ck off or growl "Don't touch me!" when he tries to comfort her mid-contraction
2. She won't moo like a cow or poo herself when the baby's crowning
3. She won't be wearing a £5 Primark nightie she has to chuck out afterwards due to it being bloodied beyond recognition
4. She won't be told by the midwives to "try and last a little longer" without pain relief
5. She won't stare at her reflection and cry "I look like sh*t!!!" because her hair & make-up team will be on 24-hr call
6. She won't be in a ward with other women and made to walk to the corridor for her food
7. She won't be sent home because she's not dilated enough
8. Shw won't get Will to run to Asda for more cheap undies because she's bled through the 10 pairs she brought
9. She won't be visited by Bounty on the ward after the baby comes (UK mamas know what I mean) ;-)
10. She won't wail "I'll never be thin again!" or show the kid photos of her pre-baby body whilst crying, "Look at me! I was hot before you came along!"
Feel free to add more in the comments! :-)