Chlark Fanfic: Agenda, Chapter 27
Banner by go_clo
Title: Agenda
Author: babydee1
Pairing: Chlark
Rating: NC-17 (mostly PG-13)
Warnings: None
Timeline: Futurefic; follows Season 8’s Injustice & Failsday Doomsday
Disclaimer: All known characters belong to the CW & DC comics.
Summary: More than a decade after the Doomsday Rampage, Clark makes a shocking discovery that changes his life forever.
Feedback: …makes me squee. :-)
Written for the 2011 smallvillebbang long Fanfic challenge. Many thanks to twinsarein for all her tireless organisation and support!
Beta’ed by legendarytobes & The Fallen Sky at KSite.
Art by sylvanelfmistre & go_clo.
Read previous chapter here.
Read story from the beginning here.
Chapter 27
Now it was his turn to be on the back foot.
“Chloe…”
“You left me.”
It was a softly spoken statement of fact, not an accusation.
He closed his eyes, the pain in her voice lancing at his soul.
“You left me, Clark,” she repeated, her voice trembling. “You walked away when I was grieving, when I needed you the most. I was in floods of tears and I begged you to stay…” she choked back a sob. “Clark, I told you that I needed you.”
He nodded, regret evident in his eyes. “I know.”
“She gave him a sad smile. “You knew; and yet told me that you were dead, and then you disappeared and you never came back. That was over fourteen years ago. And if I hadn’t turned up on your doorstep with Gabby, we’d still be strangers.”
“You were with Bruce,” he replied quietly. “I thought Gabby was his, and that there was no place for me in your life.”
“But you could have called!” she argued. “One phone call, Clark, just to see how I was…”
“I was trying to protect you!” he exclaimed. “I didn’t want you getting mixed up in my world again, not after I’d caused so many horrible things to happen to you. You had a child, and I didn’t want that life for her. I was protecting you both, long before I knew she was mine!”
“So was I!” she said. “I was devastated when my father left, but when you walked away from me, I was broken. I suppose subconsciously I didn’t want to take the risk of you doing that to Gabby. I mean, if she never knew you…well, there’d be nothing to miss. Especially if all you were going to do was walk away again.”
“Chloe, I’d have taken one look at her and fallen in love, you know that!” he argued. “And don’t think for one second I walked away from you because I didn’t care about you. I left you because I was always putting you in danger, and I’d rather have you alive and hating me than by my side and dead. Davis came way, way too close to killing you, and if it hadn’t been for Jimmy…” he stop and drew in a ragged breath. “There was no way I was going to let you die, too.”
He took her face in his hands and stared right into her eyes. “You know me well enough now to know that I would never abandon you or Gabby. Never. I would give up everything for you, and that’s no lie.”
“But you’re Superman!” she sniffed. “You have a destiny that goes far beyond having a family. You’re the world’s hero, I can’t ask you to do that for us!”
“And you didn’t, so you made the decision for me. And I understand your reasons why, but at the end of the day it was my decision to make.”
She nodded. “I know that now. And I’m so sorry.”
He pulled her into his arms and held her tight. “I’m sorry too. God, I’m so sorry for ever making you feel like you weren’t good enough, or weren’t worth it. As crazy as it sounds, I left you because I love you.”
“Clark…” she gave a resigned sigh. “You don’t need to lie to me. I know you didn’t love me back then, so---”
“I did!” he insisted.
She shook her head. “We didn’t sleep together out of love, Clark, it just…happened…”
“I’d never have slept with you if I wasn’t in love with you,” he said urgently, squeezing her hand. “And I knew I loved you when you called and told me you’d run away with Davis.”
Her eyes widened. “Since…then?”
“I thought you’d be able to tell from my voice, that day you called to say you were leaving with him,” he said quietly. “I nearly went crazy when you hung up and I couldn’t call you back. I started looking for you, and even though Oliver was deriding me, telling me you’d gone with Davis because you had feelings for him I knew that you were only with him to protect me.
“And then I got to thinking about what would happen if Davis made his move on you, and…oh, God,” he breathed, his blood running cold at the memory. “When I found you, naked and bleeding and terrified out of your mind, I didn’t even want to think about what that meant, what might have happened.” He paused. “What he might have done to you,” he finally whispered.
She covered his hands with hers, just as she’d done that day and squeezed his fingers. “He didn’t touch me, Clark, remember?” she said. “It’s okay, I got away. You saved me.”
He met her gaze with sad eyes. “I wanted to make love to you that night, Chloe.”
She closed her eyes and shook her head. “No you didn’t, Clark. I remember, you said no…”
“Not for long,” he said with a little smile. “…and only because of what you’d just been through. But as I’m sure you recall, it didn’t take much persuasion to sway me, did it?”
A blush stained her cheeks and she smiled. “No, not really,” she admitted.
“It’s because I was making love to the woman of my dreams, who had been masquerading as my best friend for years,” he explained with a smile. “I thought I’d lost you, and when he found you relatively safe and sound, I didn't want another day to pass without letting you know just how I felt about you.”
“You loved me?” she said in a small voice. “Even then?”
He nodded. “Even then. And I knew that you loved me; you’d never have gone off with Davis otherwise.” His voice hardened. “That’s why I had to leave you, Chloe; because as long as I was in your orbit, you’d stop at nothing to protect me, even if it meant giving up your life, and after everything that happened, you very nearly did. So I made the heartbreaking decision to leave before I put you in any more danger.”
She stared at him in surprise, and he raised a hand to cup her cheek. “Don’t you see, Chloe? I love you, and I had to keep you alive, even though it broke my heart to leave you.”
“I thought…” she swallowed and continued quietly. “When you left, I thought you didn’t care.”
“Didn’t care?” he echoed. “Chloe, I spent ten years trying to forget you, and failing completely. I ached for you everyday, but the more I yearned for you, the more I reminded myself that I needed to stay away from you.” He reached across the table for her hand, and gave it an earnest squeeze. “But you were always on my mind. Always.”
Tears were falling freely down her face, but she was smiling through them. She used her free hand to dry her eyes and frowned.
“So…we both stayed away from each other to protect each other,” she mused, and then smiled. “God, we must be crazy.”
Clark laughed and scooted his chair closer to hers, so that he could pull her up against his chest. “We are crazy,” he soothed, stroking her hair tenderly, “but then, things always were kind of crazy between us. Crazy, but amazing.”
She sighed. “True. Why can’t we just make things simple?”
His hand stilled in her hair. “We could try.”
She nodded and lifted her head to face him. “Okay, let’s start today. Whatever mistakes we’ve made in the past…they’re gone.”
“All gone,” he agreed. “Our future as a family is what’s important, correct?”
She nodded, smiling. “Correct.”
“So I’ve chosen to balance my life as a family man and as a global hero,” he said triumphantly. “I admit, it would have been a struggle when we were younger, but we’re all older and wiser now. There are many others who protect the earth, and we all know how to keep the world safe without burning ourselves out.”
Chloe nodded in agreement. “That sounds promising. And very unlike you of fourteen years ago.”
Clark grimaced. “It took me a long time to realise this, but I can’t be a hero all the time; no-one can. As Gabby said to me this morning, everybody needs a break every once in a while, even Superman. So while I’m spending time being a family man, the rest of the League can cover the hero work, and everything’s…well, sorted.”
“Wow,” she said in amazement. “When did you get so wise?”
“Fourteen years is a long time to grow,” he said quietly.
Guilt assuaged her and she hung her head, stepping out of his embrace.
“I’m sorry, Clark,” she said in a small, subdued voice. “I should have told you about Gabby. I know you’ve said its water under the bridge now, but…”
Clark sighed and slowly got to his feet. There she went again, raking up the past that they had just agreed was best left exactly where it was.
“…but don’t know how you can ever forgive me,” she rambled on. “If you’d done the same to me, I’d be furious, so if…if you never completely forgive me, I’ll understand---”
“Shut up.”
The words died on her lips as Clark grabbed her, lifted her into his arms and pressed his lips against hers, hard. His arms held her tight as she returned his kisses, her hands curling in his hair.
After a long while he broke the kiss and gazed at her. “I don’t hate you,” he said, stroking her hair tenderly. “I love you, Chloe. And that’s all there is to it. No more apologies, not more bitterness…no more hurt. We’re a family now, and we deserve to be happy. Can you handle that?”
She smiled, tears glistening in her eyes. “I think so, yeah.”
“Good,” he said with a grin as he carried her towards the bedroom. “Because I plan on making you very, very happy.”
***
Chapter 28…