Are you saying you like me too?
Title: Are you saying you like me too?
Author: babycloud_ai
Pairing: Kikwang / Hyunseung
Rating: Pg 13
Author's Notes: This is a companion piece for They got nothing on you and only my second time writing B2ST. It’s long overdue since I started writing it ages ago but I kept changing it over an over again HAIZZZ. So I hope you guys enjoy it. Keep in mind that it’s unbeta’ed so please point out any mistakes to me and constructive criticism is definitely welcomed.
This has nothing to do with their lives whatsoever.
Are you saying you like me too?
He wonders how he’s going to cope with all the envy and wistful pangs whenever he looks at Doojoon and Dongwoon. He’s happy for them of course but he knows it will bother him seeing that he couldn’t have anything like that with the man sleeping across him and he will no longer be contented to just be by his side.
His heart twinges.
Restraining himself from reaching out to Hyunseung for comfort, he rolls on his other side to face Yoseob instead. Maybe he should get over Hyunseung and save him the heartache.
He didn’t miss the surprise look on Hyunseung’s face when Doojoon made the huge announcement the next morning at breakfast. He glances at Yoseob once, twice, obviously contemplating a question and finally blurts out.
“I thought you will definitely end up with Seobie?”
“Whatever gave you that idea?” Yoseob questions with a raised brow.
“I don’t know, I just thought it would be you.” Hyunseung shrugs and sips his coffee. Kikwang knows where he’s coming from though. Yoseob and Doojoon had hit it off immediately and their interactions on camera or on stage are suspiciously intimate most of the time.
“If it’s from all those fanservices then that’s just it, only fanservice. You don’t see me hanging onto you guys behind camera do you? Well, with the exception of Kikwang who glues himself to everybody.”
“Hey! I can’t help it if I’m affectionate.” Kikwang pouts at the way Yoseob says it like his habit leaves an unpleasant after taste in his mouth. He has his reasons for being the way he is. When you can’t keep your hands off that certain someone who only sees you as friend, you need to cover it up by being equally clingy to the others right? He’s just spreading his love. Yoseob grins before continuing.
“Point is, I’m not big on skinship with guys. I’m straight no matter how I look.”
He laughs at the disgruntled tone to Yoseob’s voice. Even though the visual magnae took advantage of his cute looks to the fullest, he always complains of how unfair it was that even Dongwoon looks his age while he looks like a girly sixteen year old. Yoseob shot him a glare and attempts at kicking him under the table.
“So you guys are okay with this? Not that I’m asking permission but yeah.” Doojoon glances around the table at them. Kikwang grins at Dongwoon who grins back in apparent relief.
“We’re fine with it” Junhyung who had been silent finally spoke “as long as you keep it discreet and no sex until the kid turns twenty one.”
“Omma~” Doojoon whines amidst the chortles while Dongwoon promptly turns red, smacking the leader on the arm and yells at Junhyung a scandalized Hyung!
He tries not to stare at the new couple so much. Not wanting to be obvious that he craves their connection for himself but he must have been pretty obvious for Dongwoon to flash all those apologetic smiles and Doojoon would squeeze him in a tight hug at random moments and sends him silent meaningful look while he clamps his face between his big hands. He supposed it meant for him to be strong and hang on. The looks that Hyunseung shoots at the leader varies from quizzical to incredulous and if the man has finally gone mad whenever Doojoon does it. It makes Kikwang wants to strangle them well meaning or not.
He doesn’t want to be sympathized. It’s too lame and he’s not lame no matter what they say (Don’t be a lame ass and just jump him. You two are already like this *Junhyung links his little fingers to emphasize* Just make it happen). He wished he has the guts to do what the rapper said when he had yet again caught him staring forlornly at the back of Hyunseung’s head. (Don’t mess with his head you perv. Our Kwangie is a good boy) He totally agrees with Yoseob. He prefers to think of himself as the nice guy who doesn’t want to ruin his friendship rather than the chicken shit Junhyung refers him as.
God, his head hurt. He should stop thinking, stop looking (which is hard when they live in the same dorm and damn he’s hot since he’s buffing up a little for their comeback), get over him (like what he’s been telling himself this past few weeks) and focus his energy somewhere.
That isn’t hard when he knows one of them the longest and Yoseob is as much the attention whore as he is no matter what he claims. Hyunseung studies them in a cool, unaffected manner when they get like that, clinging onto each other and joint at the hips (Ughh Kwangie, you’re seriously cramping my style). Or maybe he’s just spacing out because he does that a lot too. He doesn’t understand how Hyunseung does it and frequently in front of them only. Not that he knows, he’s not looking remember?
“Seungie! Take your man away before I throttle him!”
Yoseob shouts one day, having had enough of him sticking to him like leech. He pouts, mortally wounded that his own best friend is turning him away.
“What can I do? My man doesn’t want me anymore.” The dancer replies almost disdainfully and peers up from the book he’s reading. Kikwang’s heart flutters as always whenever the man rested his eyes on him and blinks dumbly at the words that left Hyunseung’s mouth and flushes a heartbeat later.
“I don’t care! Take him away please…” Yoseob pleads and tries to push him off the couch.
Kikwang didn’t budge from his spot beside Yoseob, pursed his lips stubbornly and stiffens his body just to spite Yoseob for his betrayal. Yoseob clicks his tongue and claws at his back which actually hurts. Maybe he could just sulk quietly in a corner till he feels bad for him.
“Come here.” Hyunseung beckons him from the floor. He hesitates, knowing that he probably shouldn’t and consciously shook his head while swatting at Yoseob’s pushing hands. “Honey come here.” Hyunseung slanted his head, doe eyes and all and god help him because he’s moving towards the dancer’s outstretched arm.
Hyunseung pulls him down to sit and continues to read like it’s natural to have him nestled in between. Yoseob snickers loudly and claims the couch for himself. He casted a scowl to no effect at all in Yoseob’s direction who; by the way already has a cushion over his head. It was half hearted anyway. The other half of his mind is preoccupied with the way he was caged by Hyunseung’s bended legs.
It’s not normal.
Hyunseung doesn’t do PDA at all. Hyunseung only tolerates or plays along or flirts back with him or the rest. Any kind of skin contact will never be initiated from him. He squirms, wanting to get away from his too comfortable spot.
“Where are you going?” Hyunseung wraps an arm around the front of his neck and forces him back. “No more bothering others.”
He gave up without a struggle and obeys meekly, leaning the back of his head on his shoulder and stays there quietly.
Man, he’s weak.
He jerks with a start when Hyunseung’s fingers that had been running lightly on the length of his thigh as they swayed, squeezes him right above the knee. Having felt the sharp intake of breath, Yoseob and Dongwoon eyes him questioningly from the mirror. He only smiles at them briefly, a big cut and paste kind of smile and continues to fall in steps of their new choreography as seamlessly as he could and catch up to that half a beat he’s lost. Not an easy thing to do when he’s trying to catch the band’s main dancer’s eyes. Kikwang’s querying look was met with an obscure smile which kinda left him dazed.
He looks away onto the floor, bobs up and down, watching his feet, one, two. Breathe in, breathe out. Bends down, one, two, one, two. Breathe in, breathe out. Spins around, one, two, one, two. Breathe in, breathe out. Hand hovering near his face with his fingers flexing, one, two, one, two. Breathe in, breathe out. Okay he’s ready to hyper ventilate now that he’s peepers accidentally fell upon Hyunseung’s reflection, eyes half lidded and lips parted slightly staring straight at him. Damn.
He tears his eyes away, literally spins his head the other way and nearly breaking his neck. He just happens to look my way. No biggie. He told himself and promptly missed a beat.
“Kikwang pay attention.” Haw hyung reprimands from the sideline.
Ah crap, this is why he hates multi tasking.
“See what you did? I was scolded by hyung because of you.” Kikwang whines and collapses beside the dancer as soon as they were called for half and hour break.
“What did I do?” Hyunseung uncaps a bottle and guzzles thirstily.
Stopping himself from following the bobbing of Hyunseung’s Adam apple, he clears his throat self consciously and ploughs on. “You startled me just now and got me distracted.”
“Well you look kinda dead, you should be thanking me.”
“Gee, thanks.” He smiles scathingly in return and snatches the bottle away. Hyunseung chuckles and tucks his knees under his chin, watching him silently before perking up again.
“I just realized you’re always drinking from my bottle.”
“So?”
“Nah… just some random thought.” He shook his head, the corner of his lips hitching impishly. “You know it means we’ve been sharing kisses right?”
Kikwang chokes on his spit. It was precisely because of this childish idea that he drinks from Hyunseung’s cup or bottle frequently. It’s like an oral fixation to him, whatever that means. He didn’t think it’s a bad habit at all, really, just embarrassing when Hyunseung says it out loud like that because it’s his secret guilty pleasure and because he can’t exactly lie in Hyunseung’s bed or steals his underwear and have a nice wank without anyone noticing (yup, he’s thought about it).
Hyunseung laughs, thumping him helpfully on the back.
“You’re weird hyung.” He says when he’s done coughing. The other just cocks his head, resting his cheek on a knee and gazes at him with one of his vague smiles he often sees nowadays.
“Maybe.”
It disturbs him a bit. Not in a bad way, but not exactly good either. Just an odd feeling that maybe, just maybe… Or not.
He gets his head out of the clouds, putting his wishful thoughts on a leash that he’s back on neutral ground so when Hyunseung tugs him into his bed that night, he accepts it, confusing as it was, he accepts it. He would rather revel in the feel of Hyunseung’s back snug against his chest, smelling the scent of his shampoo and let the man play with his fingers till they drift off to sleep.
He stifles a yawn, burying his face in his still damp hair, heart missing a beat as he draws the man closer still and Hyunseung squeezes his hand and hugs it to his chest. Being like this feels good. So what of it?
Why does it feel like something is up with Hyunseung? From the quirk of his smiles and the way he eyes him right down to the lingering touches. It’s almost provocative. Almost being the operative word here because he knew better than to think it actually meant something. He could always say the man was teasing, except that he never does tease, at least not like that.
It was no secret that he has eyes only for Hyunseung especially right then when he was filming his solo dance under the made up rain, shirtless and ahem, deliciously wet. He had just stood there at the corner of the studio near the dressing area with a towel over his head, not wanting to miss out on the rare chance. Hyunseung’s not much of an exhibitionist like he is so yes, it’s an opportunity not to be missed. And when Hyunseung was finally done, he was all of glassy eyes and slack jaw. Really suave.
He shuts his trap when Hyunseung caught sight of him and sauntered towards him, no scratch that, more like slinked to him like a feline.
“What are you looking at?”
“You’re hot.” He says mindlessly. As usual.
The old Hyunseung would have blushed and told him to stuff it but this Hyunseung, Kikwang’s eyes fell upon those pair of lips spreading devilishly as the man wraps his arms around his neck and presses his slick body against his. He blinks, stunned by the skin on skin contact which by the way feels freaking awesome, never mind that Hyunseung is making him wet again.
“So what are you going to do about it?”
What did he do? He turned and ran.
There could possibly be countless way to react he realized once they were all packed and being shipped from their location back to their dorm. He could have laughed it off and push the older man away or feel him up or talk dirty or anything since Hyunseung is in a playful mood. He glances at the dancer on his other side at the furthest end of the backseat; was in a playful mood he corrects himself. Now the only mood that Hyunseung is in is a stoic one. Well it’s too late to laugh it off now, that will just be awkward.
Chicken shit. Junhyung mocks him in his head. He rolls his eyes and turns to glare at the unsuspecting rapper’s head. It was too dangerous! He reasoned. Dangerous for Hyunseung and not to mention his heart which he swears was close to cardiac arrest judging from the way it was jumping.
Chicken shit.
Oh shut up. He deflates and sinks into his seat.
So Junhyung had broken out all the sojus and whatever beers that their manager would allow him to but of course the rapper have his ways to sneak in a few more on their manager’s tab obviously. To complete their MV without a glitch is a cause for celebration Junhyung had said, appeasing their hyung. The poor man had just shaken his head in resignation, wondering what kind of trouble he will get indulging to all these kids which are under his care.
The living room is quiet now and the light is bothering him. He looks around at the rest of his band members sprawled out haphazardly. Doojoon and Dongwoon are already asleep, oblivious to the incoherent mumblings coming from Yoseob. Junhyung had somehow managed to manipulate the visual magnae into drinking more than he intended so he’s pretty wasted right now Kikwang thinks because he’s climbing onto Junhyung’s lap. Junhyung chuckles in amusement and pushes him off. The man seems rather sober considering the amount of alcohol he had taken which was more than the rest of them. It’s just simply amazing to him when he himself is more than a little tipsy.
“Junnie…” Yoseob whines clutching at the rapper.
“No Seobie.” Junhyung slaps the singer’s hands away lightly.
Yoseob teeters back and fell heavily on his rear, a sad sigh escapes his lips and he pouts. Something flitted across Junhyung’s face, his smile slipping as he stares back at the visual magnae silently. Kikwang watches them both and counts in his head slowly. He didn’t even reach ten before Junhyung tips his can back and sets the empty beer aside. The rapper got up pulling Yoseob onto the couch with him and wraps his arms around the younger man.
Hyunseung snorts. “The ones who swears they’re not gays.”
“Shut up.” Junhyung shots back lazily, shifting a little as Yoseob gurgles happily and curls himself against him. “Shut off the lights Seung.”
Hyunseung rolls his eyes and drains the last of his beer. He had always thought the man to be rather delicate, so to find him still steady as the rapper is surprising and somewhat ego bruising. He follows the man with his eyes. The fact that Hyunseung hasn’t spoken to him at all bugs him.
He squints in the dark waiting for Hyunseung to plop back down on the floor and he crawls his way to him, knocking into Doojoon’s head with his knee without much concern.
“Stop squirming Seobie.” Junhyung complains in the background.
His arms and knees gave way and he hugs the wobbling ground with an audible sigh. Fuck, why is the room so big?
Never the one to give up easily, he scoots on his stomach to reach his target.
“Are you drunk too?”
Kikwang grunts and heaves himself up. “Are you going to take advantage of me if I’m drunk?”
“Seobie.” Junhyung hissed in distress. The tussling from the couch freezes whatever retorts on Hyunseung’s tongue and they both listened with a vague idea of what’s going on forming in their heads. “Shit, Seobie.”
“Let’s go to bed.” Hyunseung says hastily, hauling him up as the sound of a muffled moan which was unmistakably Yoseob’s confirms their suspicion.
They made themselves scarce, stumbling into their room and escaped the scene.
“That was freaky.” Kikwang shudders glad he didn’t witness anything more. Hyunseung didn’t give any kind of response but headed straight for his bed leaving him by the door. “Are you sulking?” he asks climbing into Junhyung’s bed and groans in bliss when he sinks into the mattress. Hyunseung shifted on his side, a prickly air hangs about him as he fusses with his pillow and tucks a hand under. He stays quiet, boring his eyes at him in the dark.
The pleasant buzz in his head is starting to settle on his lids. “Don’t ignore me hyung.”
Hyunseung huffs out tiredly and inches forward. “Aren’t you like one of the smartest kids in school? You came up seventeenth in your whole school right?”
He murmurs an affirmation, unsure of where Hyunseung is going with this. The singer sits up and pushes him onto his back. He froze, mouth going dry and air deserts him, clogged up somewhere in his windpipe as Hyunseung crawls over him, splaying his hands on his chest and straddles him.
“Then why don’t you get that I’ve been hitting on you?”
He blinks owlishly up at the man, stumped for words. Maybe he is drunk and has fallen asleep and this is just some wonderful dream that he will only remember vaguely the next morning.
“What?” He croaks.
Hyunseung looms closer and whispers. “You’re an idiot Lee Kikwang.” His head clears, Hyunseung’s mouth on him lucid and harsh and fuck this is real and it goes way beyond his imagination. “That’s like the biggest hint I’m giving you and if you still don’t get it then you truly are an idiot.”
“Are you saying you like me?” He murmurs against his lips, giddy and breathless.
The other pulls away and hides his face in the crook of his neck. “Yes I’m crazy about you, you dunce.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“How would I know you’d be that dense.”
“Hey that’s not fair. You were the one who said you like me as a friend.”
Hyunseung raises his head to look at him. “I just… I don’t know, too shy? Too proud to admit it when I realized it I guess.”
“I don’t know about shy but proud you are.” He teases, feeling a tad smug and at ease with the freaking world.
“Shut up, are you going to kiss me or not?” Hyunseung nips his chin sharply.
And make up for lost time? Hell yeah.
End.
Shit happens