still here.
I had to stop taking one of my happy pills because when I went back to the doctor for a refill, he told me that it was a category C drug and was really shocked that I was still breastfeeding while taking W *and* C. It's been about a week since I quit taking it and I can't believe how anxious, panicked, teary, and hopeless I feel even though I'm still taking W. I'm so tired of feeling chemically controlled, tired of putting these chemicals into my body.
***
I have been sick with this cough/sinus/runny nose thing for a month now. I'm finally taking abx four times a day, nasonex three times a day, sudafed for pain and sinus congestion at least once a day. I'm still trying to keep taking my vitamins and supplements, along with W of course - quite the pill popper I've become.
***
I was coughing so much last night that I gave up trying to lay in bed and sleep, pulled on my fleece robe, chugged some cough medicine, and slept in the recliner for several hours. Charlotte was up at 6:30 this morning and has been *&^%ing miserable ever since. Hitting the cat, sitting on the dog, squirming to get up into my lap then immediately arching her back to slide back down on to the floor. She's coughing and producing rivers of snot as well this morning.
***
I asked Jack to PLEASEFORTHELOVEOFGOD take a few days off from work, but one of the other drivers is taking *his* 5 days off, and Jack's boss just had eye surgery so he can't drive either. So, Jack has to keep working. To make matters worse, his BIL has asked him to help him paint (he's a general contractor and has a whole brand new house to paint) since *he's* short-handed as well, so Jack will spending as many evenings as possible helping Mike paint. Bad timing, yes, but neither one of us would deny Mike anything. He's done so much work for us for free and he's family so how do we refuse?
***
I had my CAT scan yesterday. It was easy, painless, and not traumatic except for the fact that I had a killer sinus headache. I took some Tylenol Sinus and three hours later I was finally pain free. I won't get the results from yesterday's test until Friday or Monday. The radiologist didn't look at me in a sad, sympathetic way so there likely wasn't a huge tumour in my brain.
***
I can't nurse Charlotte for two days, until the dye has cleared my system, and she was *not* happy with me this morning. She asked to nurse last night too and it broke my heart to refuse her :-( When I told the x-ray tech that I was still breastfeeding but my daughter was 16 months old, the tech said "Well she should be weaned by now, anyway." I don't think she saw me roll my eyes and give her the finger as she led me out of the room.
***
When we got home from the city last night we found Kim diligently working on a school assignment that is due on Thursday. She's feeling stressed about it and decided that her assignment was much more important than doing dishes, recycling, or anything else. Then she spent the rest of the evening cleaning her room, doing her friend's hair, and hanging out in her room chattering and laughing with her friend. Piriorities, eh? I thought it was pretty ironic how the world had to come to a screeching halt so that *she* could do *her* school assignment, but I'm supposed to keep the world turning while I do mine. Hmmm.
***
I cleared of my desk last night in a ruthless, Idon'tgiveashit kind of way. Nothing much was sorted or thought about, it was either thrown out or added to a pile of paperwork that will be ignored for several more months. I have 10 days to study for and write my Breastfeeding final exam, and do my Complications paper. Writing the exam will happen, whether I'm ready or not, but I'm really on the fence about whether or not this paper will ever get finished. I just have no incentive, no motivation.
***
If I don't get the ok from either of these Alberta midwives, I'm not going to finish. I'll work full time at night, pay off our debts, fix up our house, let Kim graduate here, catch up on my scrapbooks and maybe when Charlotte's in school full time, I'll consider finding work that will mean more than a paycheque to me.
***
Charlotte needs to go down for a nap now before my friend arrives to drop off her baby for me to babysit, I need to drink about four more liters of water (to flush out the IV dye from yesterday's test), I need to pump and dump some milk, make lunch for everyone, face the laundry demon, and take more cough medicine.
***
I have been sick with this cough/sinus/runny nose thing for a month now. I'm finally taking abx four times a day, nasonex three times a day, sudafed for pain and sinus congestion at least once a day. I'm still trying to keep taking my vitamins and supplements, along with W of course - quite the pill popper I've become.
***
I was coughing so much last night that I gave up trying to lay in bed and sleep, pulled on my fleece robe, chugged some cough medicine, and slept in the recliner for several hours. Charlotte was up at 6:30 this morning and has been *&^%ing miserable ever since. Hitting the cat, sitting on the dog, squirming to get up into my lap then immediately arching her back to slide back down on to the floor. She's coughing and producing rivers of snot as well this morning.
***
I asked Jack to PLEASEFORTHELOVEOFGOD take a few days off from work, but one of the other drivers is taking *his* 5 days off, and Jack's boss just had eye surgery so he can't drive either. So, Jack has to keep working. To make matters worse, his BIL has asked him to help him paint (he's a general contractor and has a whole brand new house to paint) since *he's* short-handed as well, so Jack will spending as many evenings as possible helping Mike paint. Bad timing, yes, but neither one of us would deny Mike anything. He's done so much work for us for free and he's family so how do we refuse?
***
I had my CAT scan yesterday. It was easy, painless, and not traumatic except for the fact that I had a killer sinus headache. I took some Tylenol Sinus and three hours later I was finally pain free. I won't get the results from yesterday's test until Friday or Monday. The radiologist didn't look at me in a sad, sympathetic way so there likely wasn't a huge tumour in my brain.
***
I can't nurse Charlotte for two days, until the dye has cleared my system, and she was *not* happy with me this morning. She asked to nurse last night too and it broke my heart to refuse her :-( When I told the x-ray tech that I was still breastfeeding but my daughter was 16 months old, the tech said "Well she should be weaned by now, anyway." I don't think she saw me roll my eyes and give her the finger as she led me out of the room.
***
When we got home from the city last night we found Kim diligently working on a school assignment that is due on Thursday. She's feeling stressed about it and decided that her assignment was much more important than doing dishes, recycling, or anything else. Then she spent the rest of the evening cleaning her room, doing her friend's hair, and hanging out in her room chattering and laughing with her friend. Piriorities, eh? I thought it was pretty ironic how the world had to come to a screeching halt so that *she* could do *her* school assignment, but I'm supposed to keep the world turning while I do mine. Hmmm.
***
I cleared of my desk last night in a ruthless, Idon'tgiveashit kind of way. Nothing much was sorted or thought about, it was either thrown out or added to a pile of paperwork that will be ignored for several more months. I have 10 days to study for and write my Breastfeeding final exam, and do my Complications paper. Writing the exam will happen, whether I'm ready or not, but I'm really on the fence about whether or not this paper will ever get finished. I just have no incentive, no motivation.
***
If I don't get the ok from either of these Alberta midwives, I'm not going to finish. I'll work full time at night, pay off our debts, fix up our house, let Kim graduate here, catch up on my scrapbooks and maybe when Charlotte's in school full time, I'll consider finding work that will mean more than a paycheque to me.
***
Charlotte needs to go down for a nap now before my friend arrives to drop off her baby for me to babysit, I need to drink about four more liters of water (to flush out the IV dye from yesterday's test), I need to pump and dump some milk, make lunch for everyone, face the laundry demon, and take more cough medicine.