reminding myself
I went through some old journal entries of mine tagged "birth" and "casa". I've been feeling so far removed from birth and midwifery that I've been doubting my skills and abilities, even my passion or reasons for wanting to do that kind of work.
This one is close to how I've been feeling lately. And this one.
Then I started reading entries about my time at Casa, my two weeks with Liz in Utah, and my stint in Orem attending births (and movies!) with Joanna, even my doula births, including the precipitous catch! As I read I was actually kind of surprised at the things I knew how to do! I caught babies, found first trimester heart tones, held squirmy babies and the hands of laboring mamas. I delivered placentas, wiped up all kinds of body fluids (and was happy to do it), drew blood, did PKU's, drove down dark deserted streets in the middle of the night, and spent hours talking and laughing with other birth junkies - all kinds of wonderful things!
Reading all those entries reminded me that I had confidence in my knowledge and skills, and I loved what I was doing.
I needed the reminder.
This one is close to how I've been feeling lately. And this one.
Then I started reading entries about my time at Casa, my two weeks with Liz in Utah, and my stint in Orem attending births (and movies!) with Joanna, even my doula births, including the precipitous catch! As I read I was actually kind of surprised at the things I knew how to do! I caught babies, found first trimester heart tones, held squirmy babies and the hands of laboring mamas. I delivered placentas, wiped up all kinds of body fluids (and was happy to do it), drew blood, did PKU's, drove down dark deserted streets in the middle of the night, and spent hours talking and laughing with other birth junkies - all kinds of wonderful things!
Reading all those entries reminded me that I had confidence in my knowledge and skills, and I loved what I was doing.
I needed the reminder.