hmmm
you know i've heard this alot : the best way to get over somethingis never to cover it up . So i will . Because i've come to realize covering up things . I realize the guy i want is imaginary . non existent , it's crazy how you manage to grow apart from another individual who you share so many things with . it blows my mind sometimes . a good five years and yet i question do i want to continue on ?Sometimes i think let go . because you can't go on blood, sweat and tears . You can' try more than the person is willing to . its like falling from grace : slowly and gradually . thats just how it is : he dispersing piece by piece in my heart . If you look at my questioning stare , its be wilderedment . Because i dont understand , slowly but surely i'll begin not to care. ( I DON'T CARE AT ALL) . the guy i once loved is of no more . After my father died he promised if i gave him another chance he would love better than any other . i gave him that promise , after a year of hell getting over the death . I've only fooled myself . I gotta be real with me . Don't think i won't tell me side because i sure will . I am forever vexed . the most important day one year anniversary : didn't even remember. I reminded him like an idiot . most of the day was about him . Parents , Friends, Work and then Me . ( IN MY MIND I'M SCREAMING BULLSHIT BECAUSE I DON'T DEAL WITH THAT FROM NO ONE . NOW I'M MAKING EXCUSES , SCREW THOSE EXCUSES ). FOR once let me worry about me .