My friend ...or Are you?
The last few days back in school has been a rough one. I have had to teach myself how to let things go and move forward and it hasn't been easy. Everyone has been real two-faced lately at school and it's pulling at my soul now. My so called friends Allie and Jessica use to be real close. Now it's her and Jessica, her and Jessica, or them and everyone else. "Allie and I are going to spend time together, she's coming over my house, she's doing this, we're going to the lake house, we are going to the movies" I'm so tired of hearing we and me not being in the "we" category! They never spend time with me. They never invite me to anything. There is no me in anything anymore. As much as I sit here and try not to cry, I am starting to grow more angry by the day. I sat on my bed and looked at Brittane's picture and cried. As much as Brittane got on my nerves at times.. she loved me. She cared for me.. and she's gone.. *Sniffles and cries.* I want her back! You never know how much friends mean to you until they're gone. Real true friends who will have your back no matter what. I lack that now. Spencer, Kerry, Renisha, Miguel, Danielle, Taj, and a few others are only ones who care for me. Spencer loves me and I know that. Sometimes he can be a butt-head but that's a boy for you. There is a new girl in my class named Brittany. She's really nice to me and she doesn't know me that way. I almost cried again when I found out her name was Brittany. Well I have to tell you a story of the day about .. BIANCA! Her two-faced, good for nothing, bitchy ass. Ok, we had a convo today and we were coming out of the auditorium and I saw her. I'm like "Bianca!!" and run to hug her. I hug her and she acts like I'm not even there. I'm like I thought you went to Pike and she's totally not listening to me. She's looking around for some boy. I'm like "??" She's like well gotta go to Japanese and walked away. I was left looking really stupid. I felt so much anger boiling in my blood. I always had her back and she turns around acting like she don't know who I am. I was totally devastated. ;-; When Japanese came, I talked to Danielle at lunch and told her what was going on. We was clowning on a few people. She talked about Allie but I didn't start on her. I was like man, she trippin', they all trippin'! We started talking about dudes and everything. It was too much. Then Spencer came over and started messing with me. Ahhh.. Spencer..*Drool* He is so cute with his hair long the way it is. ^_^; I have a story to tell about him!! Anyway.. ahem.. we headed back to class and I dealt with the rest of my day. That afternoon, I went to spent time with my sweety! We went to this corner on this one hall and he looked at me with those cute blue eyes. Of course I couldn't resist and walked over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and laying my head on his chest. He whispered in my ear "I love you" and that's the first time he has ever told me that in real life without me saying it first. He wrapped his arms around me and we just hugged for a minute and he started to kiss my cheeks then kissed my neck then I looked into his eyes and he kissed me! He kissed me more than once too. ^_^. People kept coming so we would freak out, silly us. Lol. After people stopped coming, we just talked then I would hug him again, we kissing once more before he sat down and we talked some more. I ran my fingers through his hair and smiled. He ran his hand over my leg and I raise an eyebrow. He leaned his head against my leg and I just smile. God, his hair is sooooooo soft. He stands up again, I hug him from behind and tell him I love him once again. I was getting my stuff when he got behind me and kissed my neck and nibbled on my ear. Bad us, lol. Anyway, we started to leave sitting in this one area for awhile. He sits on this table and I get between his legs (as wrong as that sounds, no!) and wrap my arms around his neck. I place my chin on the top of his head and smiles happily. I kept moving his hair out of his eyes and when you look at them, they are.. so.. beautiful. I'm a very shy person around him and I don't know why. As long as I've known him, I freak out when I'm alone with him. We hold hands, hug, all that stuff for awhile before going outside. He sits and I sit next to him and we talk awhile before his dad comes. We play the "They'll never we're together" game and we say bye and I walk home. That's the longest time I have ever spent alone with him but I loved every minute of it. He's changed so much. I love this Spencer more than the old one. Now, let's keep it that way and let's keep his ex away from him. *Nod* Well, I'm done typing.. I had my romantic moment and that made up for all the hell people cause me in life. If one thing can make me smile, it's to be hugged.