Beyond hurt... Beyond tears... Beyond pain...
Not even Peanut Butter Ripple ice cream, Fresca, and Dennis Quaid movies can help cure this pain:'(.....
So I had a pretty lousy day.. With the exception of the morning... I had a great talk with Justin... And got LOTS of laughs out of that conversation :o)... Then ended up making lunch for Michael, Leo, Daddy, and I... Bagel Bites, grapes, and ice cold lemonade (haha.. yeah I'm a good cook ;o)..)... Then after lunch... And another funny chat with Kinky and Stinky... I headed outside and tanned and swam in the pool... Did that for about 45-60 minutes... Then had to come inside to get ready for work.. Went to work... And the first person I see is Guiseppi.. Who is by FAR my favorite person to see when I work there :o)... And his greeting to me is "Hey sexy.. Whats up..?".. Now this man is old enough to be my grandfather... But Guiseppi is the ONLY older man who's allowed to get away with that.. And it definitely made work start out well... But then I realized that Jared and Susan were there... And Jared is an utter ASSHOLE to put it mildly... And when he and Susan are together... PLUS John... Work is hell for me... So I had a HELLISH work day yesterday... The few exceptions were getting to see Jim and his wife :o)... And the Alessis (minus Mike who is STILL at Harvard for his summer school stuff)... I met some pretty nice people while waitressing... And I sold alot of alcohol.. Which increases the tips ;o).. And ended up making like 50 bucks... Which is decent.. But not that great for a Saturday night.. But I was just happy to get out of there early... The only part of the restaurant I'm gonna miss is Guiseppi, Carol, and Joey... Carol is Guiseppi's wife.. And Joey is DA MAN... And he always can sit there cooking and tell me that Jared is a stupid asshole and not to worry about him... LOL.. So those few people are the ones I hang around for... But even with those few people... It doesnt take away the nasty comments made to me... And the ones OBVIOUSLY being made behind my back...
So after a shitty day... I come home from work.. To some of the most awesome messages ever:
Justin~ What is this from? :'(The stars will cry the blackest tears tonight:'(
Justin~ and I'm sorry you feel bad, I hope you feel better! If you need some1 to talk to call me when you get home!
Justin~ <3 ya! byes!
Joe M~ man, that sounds depressing
Joe M~ cheer up AK
Joe M~ you arent a heartless bitch, lauren is
Joe M~ cheer up
Joe M~ ;-)night
Aaron~ hey, chin up my dear
Steve~ Hey
Steve~ im sorry, hope everything is better
Steve~ u need to talk or need some love im here
Steve~ :-)
Steve~ call anytime
Steve~ bye
*You four boys rock my world.. And I love you to death...!! Thank you soooo much..!*
So after cheering up.. And having a NICE LONG conversation with my Jess.. And talking about some of the non existant rules in our dorm room for next year.. HAHA.. And our little "we are in here" signals.. LOL again... My ex IMs me... And turns the night to shit... I spill out my feelings for him.. Previous and current.. And my well wishes to him.. And my prayers for him to change... And he practically blows it off like it's nothing.... Needless to say it upset me quite a deal... And I started bawling... Because I fucking care so much and he didnt give a shit.... Now for those of you reading... I'm over this guy.....But anyone you ever loved... You know theres a piece of you that will always love and care... Whether by choice or not.... But anyways.... After that whole sob story.. And right as I stop crying... He decides to mention the fact that (since it was 1:30 in the morning) TODAY WOULD HAVE BEEN OUR 2 YEAR 8 MONTH ANNIVERSARY >-o.... Needless to say.. That started up the waterworks UNINTENTIONALLY.. Because I repeat.. I'm over the guy... But still... The fact that an ex can be THAT unsensitive and hurtful is BEYOND ME........ But fuck it....
But here are some more comments from the AMAZING people who have been there for me... I love you all beyond words...
Chels~ what a deuche
Chels~ don't worry about people like him
Chels~ dont' cry
Chels~ you will find better
Chels~ don't worry about jerks like that
Chels~ go eat some chocolate
Chels~ love yah
Chels~ that guy is a jerk
Anony~ now... please.... tell him that
Anony~ seriously..
Anony~ you need to block him, or make a new sn
Anony~ do not let him do that to you anymore
Warrie~ as much as i hate to say so, i really need to get off here and go to bed.. or ill fall asleep at the keyboard.. but.. if you want.. pretend im on myspace.. and send me a 10 mile venting rant about anything and everything your heart desires! and i will be sure to do the step by step response asap
Warrie~ they will be one day... filled with someone 100 times better..
Warrie~ itll happen
Warrie~ until then, dream of..... johnny as a pirate.. :-D
Justin A~ *hug*
I seriously canNOT wait to get out of Staunton.. And leave all these memories behind... Pictures and all... Move on and start a new and better chapter in my life.. With the people who matter most.. And who TRULY care about me... I love you all beyond words.... And if I would let myself.. I would cry just knowing I have each one of you in my life... Thank you for everything you do...
After getting off of the computer... I went to the next room and ate and drank and watched Dennis Quaid movies...... It barely helped.. But it put me to sleep so I could forget about everything....
Well... It's the next day (Obviously..)... I took the bros to Mass.. Got to see Tess, Sean, Patrick, Mary F, Jim, and Joe (Who I got to thank IN PERSON for the messages.. And ALSO found out hes gonna help us with snow cones tomorrow :o)..!!).. And of course my most favorites.. The Doughertys :o)..! I love that family sooo much..!!! And now I'm home... Typing this up.. I was gonna clean the kitchen for when the rents got home.. Since I was home alone last night... But I found out they are planning to stay until late this afternoon... So I have awhile... Which means computer time... And a couple hours or MORE in the GORGEOUS sun shining outside right now :o)... With some good music.. And good food... And possibly some great company :o).. Hopefullly I won't get burned... LOL...
Anyways.. I'm talking with one of my bestests right now.. MANDA... And then heading into the sun :o)..!!
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So I had a pretty lousy day.. With the exception of the morning... I had a great talk with Justin... And got LOTS of laughs out of that conversation :o)... Then ended up making lunch for Michael, Leo, Daddy, and I... Bagel Bites, grapes, and ice cold lemonade (haha.. yeah I'm a good cook ;o)..)... Then after lunch... And another funny chat with Kinky and Stinky... I headed outside and tanned and swam in the pool... Did that for about 45-60 minutes... Then had to come inside to get ready for work.. Went to work... And the first person I see is Guiseppi.. Who is by FAR my favorite person to see when I work there :o)... And his greeting to me is "Hey sexy.. Whats up..?".. Now this man is old enough to be my grandfather... But Guiseppi is the ONLY older man who's allowed to get away with that.. And it definitely made work start out well... But then I realized that Jared and Susan were there... And Jared is an utter ASSHOLE to put it mildly... And when he and Susan are together... PLUS John... Work is hell for me... So I had a HELLISH work day yesterday... The few exceptions were getting to see Jim and his wife :o)... And the Alessis (minus Mike who is STILL at Harvard for his summer school stuff)... I met some pretty nice people while waitressing... And I sold alot of alcohol.. Which increases the tips ;o).. And ended up making like 50 bucks... Which is decent.. But not that great for a Saturday night.. But I was just happy to get out of there early... The only part of the restaurant I'm gonna miss is Guiseppi, Carol, and Joey... Carol is Guiseppi's wife.. And Joey is DA MAN... And he always can sit there cooking and tell me that Jared is a stupid asshole and not to worry about him... LOL.. So those few people are the ones I hang around for... But even with those few people... It doesnt take away the nasty comments made to me... And the ones OBVIOUSLY being made behind my back...
So after a shitty day... I come home from work.. To some of the most awesome messages ever:
Justin~ What is this from? :'(The stars will cry the blackest tears tonight:'(
Justin~ and I'm sorry you feel bad, I hope you feel better! If you need some1 to talk to call me when you get home!
Justin~ <3 ya! byes!
Joe M~ man, that sounds depressing
Joe M~ cheer up AK
Joe M~ you arent a heartless bitch, lauren is
Joe M~ cheer up
Joe M~ ;-)night
Aaron~ hey, chin up my dear
Steve~ Hey
Steve~ im sorry, hope everything is better
Steve~ u need to talk or need some love im here
Steve~ :-)
Steve~ call anytime
Steve~ bye
*You four boys rock my world.. And I love you to death...!! Thank you soooo much..!*
So after cheering up.. And having a NICE LONG conversation with my Jess.. And talking about some of the non existant rules in our dorm room for next year.. HAHA.. And our little "we are in here" signals.. LOL again... My ex IMs me... And turns the night to shit... I spill out my feelings for him.. Previous and current.. And my well wishes to him.. And my prayers for him to change... And he practically blows it off like it's nothing.... Needless to say it upset me quite a deal... And I started bawling... Because I fucking care so much and he didnt give a shit.... Now for those of you reading... I'm over this guy.....But anyone you ever loved... You know theres a piece of you that will always love and care... Whether by choice or not.... But anyways.... After that whole sob story.. And right as I stop crying... He decides to mention the fact that (since it was 1:30 in the morning) TODAY WOULD HAVE BEEN OUR 2 YEAR 8 MONTH ANNIVERSARY >-o.... Needless to say.. That started up the waterworks UNINTENTIONALLY.. Because I repeat.. I'm over the guy... But still... The fact that an ex can be THAT unsensitive and hurtful is BEYOND ME........ But fuck it....
But here are some more comments from the AMAZING people who have been there for me... I love you all beyond words...
Chels~ what a deuche
Chels~ don't worry about people like him
Chels~ dont' cry
Chels~ you will find better
Chels~ don't worry about jerks like that
Chels~ go eat some chocolate
Chels~ love yah
Chels~ that guy is a jerk
Anony~ now... please.... tell him that
Anony~ seriously..
Anony~ you need to block him, or make a new sn
Anony~ do not let him do that to you anymore
Warrie~ as much as i hate to say so, i really need to get off here and go to bed.. or ill fall asleep at the keyboard.. but.. if you want.. pretend im on myspace.. and send me a 10 mile venting rant about anything and everything your heart desires! and i will be sure to do the step by step response asap
Warrie~ they will be one day... filled with someone 100 times better..
Warrie~ itll happen
Warrie~ until then, dream of..... johnny as a pirate.. :-D
Justin A~ *hug*
I seriously canNOT wait to get out of Staunton.. And leave all these memories behind... Pictures and all... Move on and start a new and better chapter in my life.. With the people who matter most.. And who TRULY care about me... I love you all beyond words.... And if I would let myself.. I would cry just knowing I have each one of you in my life... Thank you for everything you do...
After getting off of the computer... I went to the next room and ate and drank and watched Dennis Quaid movies...... It barely helped.. But it put me to sleep so I could forget about everything....
Well... It's the next day (Obviously..)... I took the bros to Mass.. Got to see Tess, Sean, Patrick, Mary F, Jim, and Joe (Who I got to thank IN PERSON for the messages.. And ALSO found out hes gonna help us with snow cones tomorrow :o)..!!).. And of course my most favorites.. The Doughertys :o)..! I love that family sooo much..!!! And now I'm home... Typing this up.. I was gonna clean the kitchen for when the rents got home.. Since I was home alone last night... But I found out they are planning to stay until late this afternoon... So I have awhile... Which means computer time... And a couple hours or MORE in the GORGEOUS sun shining outside right now :o)... With some good music.. And good food... And possibly some great company :o).. Hopefullly I won't get burned... LOL...
Anyways.. I'm talking with one of my bestests right now.. MANDA... And then heading into the sun :o)..!!
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