definately not bliss
And he's gone again....
Does he even realize what that does to me? I guess the fact that the biological father of my children just walked out one day and never came back doesn't even matter to him.
(happy about that, don't get me wrong, just still leaves scars.)
So here I am, 2:30am, on the computer 'cuz I know I can't sleep til he gets back even though I have to be at work at 10am.
I don't know whether to scream or cry. I don't do that shit to him, I don't know why he does it to me. Maybe because he knows it gets to me, or maybe I never told him how much that hurts... I don't know. Thought I heard the front door, but I'm not going to check. I'll just wait and see if he comes up here.
We're supposed to be married in 6 months.
I can't even get frustrated about anything! It could be work, the kids, or even my parents and he automatically thinks that I am out to get him. If I can't vent once in a while I will burst! I try explaining this to him, but then he just avoids me and it's like "shhh... don't bother the crazy lady."
I don't know what to do. I wonder if it would make a difference if I actually let him see that he's hurt me, rather than just acting pissed off... but what if it doesn't make a difference? Then it will only hurt even more...
*sigh* this sucks
Does he even realize what that does to me? I guess the fact that the biological father of my children just walked out one day and never came back doesn't even matter to him.
(happy about that, don't get me wrong, just still leaves scars.)
So here I am, 2:30am, on the computer 'cuz I know I can't sleep til he gets back even though I have to be at work at 10am.
I don't know whether to scream or cry. I don't do that shit to him, I don't know why he does it to me. Maybe because he knows it gets to me, or maybe I never told him how much that hurts... I don't know. Thought I heard the front door, but I'm not going to check. I'll just wait and see if he comes up here.
We're supposed to be married in 6 months.
I can't even get frustrated about anything! It could be work, the kids, or even my parents and he automatically thinks that I am out to get him. If I can't vent once in a while I will burst! I try explaining this to him, but then he just avoids me and it's like "shhh... don't bother the crazy lady."
I don't know what to do. I wonder if it would make a difference if I actually let him see that he's hurt me, rather than just acting pissed off... but what if it doesn't make a difference? Then it will only hurt even more...
*sigh* this sucks