(no subject)
i wonder how people cope with failure. i've never failed an exam until this morning - yay - and i've never thought about what i would do if i failed since my mom says crying is not an option.
well, i still cried.
i can't control my body: if it wants to cry then i have to cry. i wish i were able to just say enough and not cry anymore but it seems i can't.
weirdly, i feel good once i've finished. i feel good, lighter and empty but positively empty. i don't know how to explain this, i suck so much at words.
i should relax and try forgetting what happened, because every time i think about it i still feel the need to cry, but i can't because i've another exam on thursday. i can't fail that one too. i will still watch something on tv, something far enough from exams and failure and examiners and then i'll go back studying.
i can't fail that exam too.
i just can't.
well, i still cried.
i can't control my body: if it wants to cry then i have to cry. i wish i were able to just say enough and not cry anymore but it seems i can't.
weirdly, i feel good once i've finished. i feel good, lighter and empty but positively empty. i don't know how to explain this, i suck so much at words.
i should relax and try forgetting what happened, because every time i think about it i still feel the need to cry, but i can't because i've another exam on thursday. i can't fail that one too. i will still watch something on tv, something far enough from exams and failure and examiners and then i'll go back studying.
i can't fail that exam too.
i just can't.