Even when I shouldn't say it...
I miss you.
It's not that I need or want more. I am content. I am happy and excited and truly good anxious for the first time in a long time. But still, part of me wants something that I cannot have as well. Something that is a thing of the past. I used to have my hand held a certain way and I am not ashamed to say that touch isn't really the same anymore. Oh how, pretty little things were like mountains and lakes. Time had so much meaning but when given the occassion excitment could be made out of anything!
I used to love so much it made my stomach hurt. I used to be feel safer.
I feel scared in life that often I will be the victim of displaying weakness at all the wrong moments. As soon as I didn't know who I am, bad things happen. People count on me to know who I am; to be strong. And the times when I am not, typically it is catastrophic.
I have a part of my heart that secretly still desires a certain type of fulfilling. It's just the only place where I have seen a certain type of love.
It's not that I need or want more. I am content. I am happy and excited and truly good anxious for the first time in a long time. But still, part of me wants something that I cannot have as well. Something that is a thing of the past. I used to have my hand held a certain way and I am not ashamed to say that touch isn't really the same anymore. Oh how, pretty little things were like mountains and lakes. Time had so much meaning but when given the occassion excitment could be made out of anything!
I used to love so much it made my stomach hurt. I used to be feel safer.
I feel scared in life that often I will be the victim of displaying weakness at all the wrong moments. As soon as I didn't know who I am, bad things happen. People count on me to know who I am; to be strong. And the times when I am not, typically it is catastrophic.
I have a part of my heart that secretly still desires a certain type of fulfilling. It's just the only place where I have seen a certain type of love.