Oh please, please, please
I pick up my phone sometimes to send an honest message. Most times a messaging that would still expose the fact that my heart still hurts a little bit. It's not grief, it's just sadness at a lack of understanding. It's not even all the time...
Most times though I end up writing a message that I erase and don't even end up sending. I always find that it is better that way. Though I have so much to say. Time is going so fast and I just feel like if I don't get it out now, it will be too late! Oh please, please, please
My play opens tomorrow. I am very ready and very anxious. It is the closing culmination of my college theatrical experience and then it is on to the real world. We're supposed to be cementing plans for the future. The truth is that I am dragging my feet in a way that I never have before. Though my body and mind are ready to move, my heart still is dragging a little bit. I have to figure out why. Oh please, please, please
Track season stands to be a success and I can't wait. I need somewhere to pour out my competitive agression. Somewhere to exert my all and dominance. I need it because I need my heart to pump and move my blood through. I need to be done with a lot of this old stuff. I actually like someone. Though in tentative terms but I do and it feels kind of nice. And liking someone, like really liking them gives me satisfaction and makes me pissed. Oh please, please, please
I still hold to my thoughts that you will feel a sadness that you won't adequately be able to remedy because part of me is still qualified understanding. Part of me knows and hopes that because it is how I feel too. I have hurts that I can't remedy because previously I would have done that with my better(other) half. I've tried with friends and family but the fact is that I think I'm still not used to opening up, the way I need to, with anyone else. It sucks but I cope. It's hard though. I know it is. Oh please, please, please
I just want to succeed. It's the only dream that doesn't get convuluted. Oh please, please, please
E
Most times though I end up writing a message that I erase and don't even end up sending. I always find that it is better that way. Though I have so much to say. Time is going so fast and I just feel like if I don't get it out now, it will be too late! Oh please, please, please
My play opens tomorrow. I am very ready and very anxious. It is the closing culmination of my college theatrical experience and then it is on to the real world. We're supposed to be cementing plans for the future. The truth is that I am dragging my feet in a way that I never have before. Though my body and mind are ready to move, my heart still is dragging a little bit. I have to figure out why. Oh please, please, please
Track season stands to be a success and I can't wait. I need somewhere to pour out my competitive agression. Somewhere to exert my all and dominance. I need it because I need my heart to pump and move my blood through. I need to be done with a lot of this old stuff. I actually like someone. Though in tentative terms but I do and it feels kind of nice. And liking someone, like really liking them gives me satisfaction and makes me pissed. Oh please, please, please
I still hold to my thoughts that you will feel a sadness that you won't adequately be able to remedy because part of me is still qualified understanding. Part of me knows and hopes that because it is how I feel too. I have hurts that I can't remedy because previously I would have done that with my better(other) half. I've tried with friends and family but the fact is that I think I'm still not used to opening up, the way I need to, with anyone else. It sucks but I cope. It's hard though. I know it is. Oh please, please, please
I just want to succeed. It's the only dream that doesn't get convuluted. Oh please, please, please
E