this is one of thooosssseee entries
you know whats so weird? im growing my nails out. that, seriously, is weird. ive been playing the violin for so long, and i havent been able to grow my nails at all. so since i dont play anymore, i can grow em out, but you know what, id much rather be playing my violin cause i miss it :( damn my orchestra conductor. she took my love for string music and butchered it. but its still there. i hear songs, and im like ugh, wheres my violin. i wanna play it. one song in particular, canon in d. i used to be able to play that song by heart. I LOVE THAT SONG. i listen to it too much now. i wonder if i still remember.
just cause she dances loco, it dont make her a ho no.
i have this weird ass thing with this journal, but umm, hmmm. i feel like if youre not gonna read all of one of my entries, DONT READ IT AT ALL. kthx?
did i ever mention where i got this whole babydoll thing from? well, when i was little, everyone used to say i looked like a babydoll. i used to say that i was a tomboy when i was little, but i so wasnt. well im not sure. i cried once cause i got my white lace socks dirty, covered in mudd. how did i get them dirty? i was playing football with the boys. heh. i always played with the boys, but at the same time, i was the girl that wanted to put rouge lipstick on when i was 3. i dunno, but anywho, then theres scott. he called me all the names you could ever think of. babydoll. babycakes. baby. cutiebabe. this list goes on. BUT THEN THE MAIN REASON I HAVE THIS WHOLE BABYDOLL THING is cause mariah carey she had a song called babydoll. this is a secret. if youre laughing, you suck! so yeah. remember i was like 12 when i made this whole babydoll thing up, so gimme a LITTLE BIT OF CREDIT. part of the song...
i wanna be your babydoll. wrap me up nice and tight, love me all thru the night. come lay me down, enfold me in your arms. cover me with velvet kisses, rock me on and on, asn whisper softly to me, you wanna be my babydoll.
hmmmm should i have been listening to this music when i was 12? thats debatable.
i used to love mariah carey sooooo much. she was my absolute favorite singer. SHUT UP! she has this song with odb called fantasy. hah still love that song.
oh oh and babydoll was track 7 on her cd. THERE GOES MY OBSESSION WITH THE NUMBER 7! hah. i swear, 7 is my lucky number. i was born on the seventh. g...hah jus happens to be the seventh letter in the alphabet. coincidence? I THINK NOT!
growing up, i never liked madonna that much. i mean she was just kinda neutral. i like her stuff now, oddly enough. i dont like her new stuff all that much tho. one song i really like, take a bow. i was wondering why, and guess what? babyface wrote and produced it. THAT EXPLAINS IT!
say your lines, but do you feel them?
do you mean what you say when theres no one around?
make them laugh, it comes so easy...
when you get to the part where youre breaking my heart.
hide behind your smile, all the world loves a clown.
wish you well, i cannot stay.
you deserve an award for the role that you played.
all the world is a stage,
and everyone has their part.
how was i to know which way the storyd go?
how was i to know you'd break...
you'd break my heart.
ive always been in love with you...
i guess youve always known its true.
you took my love for granted, why oh why?
this show is over, say goodbye.
that song was jus really...well written. i think she sings it good too. its kinda sad tho no?
I HAVE SO MUCH TO WRITE ABOUT!@#$
in the midnight hour...
id sell my soul for you babe
for money to burn with you
id give you all, and have none, babe
just, just, just to have you here by me.
ive been listening to wayyyy too many songs lately, but umm i love it?
you have so many relationships in this life
only one or two will last
youre going thru all this pain and strife
then you turn your back and theyre gone so face
so hold on to the ones who really care
in the end, theyll be the only ones there
when you get old and start losing your hair
can you tell me who will still care?
hah, so tell me...who sings this song?
buahahaha.
no googling either.
im learning how to write in korean! agh! its a lil late, but im a strong believer in, BETTER LATE THAN NEVER! its so elementary tho. im learning an alphabet all over again. then not just that, im saying ka kya ku kyu ko kyo ... over and over. i was in my car this morning, and i started saying this to myself. this is outta control.
growing up, i swear to you, i heard conway twittys name a million time. my dad has always, for some reason, found a way to bring his name up. what song does he sing? this one
you want a man with a slow hand
you want a lover with an easy touch
you want somebody who will spend some time
not come and go in a heated rush
you want somebody who will understand
when it comes to love, you want a slow hand
BUAHAHAHAHA.
that is all.
this weekend made me think about A LOT of things. it all started friday. i went out and talked to my friend jizz. i love jizz. hah. i love this nickname me and kelsey gave her. when we were at the less than jake concert, i was like HEYYY JIZZZZZZ IM RIGHT HERE! JIZZZZZ! then all these guys behind me where like HEYYYYYYYYY JIZZZZZ SHES RIGHT HEREEEEEEEE! well it was amusing. anywho, shes my relief sometimes. i love talking to her. we talk about anything and everything. she wanted me there, so i was happy to be there for her.
then i was supposed to see jimmy. at 7. i didnt really let him know how excited i was about it. i told everyone. you know everyone being jizz, kelsey, zach, justin, connie, and annie. oh and jeff. so i get home, call him, and i woke him up. we went thru this whole thing, and i ended up telling him not to come. it's funny how i do that. zach called me out on this before. some time this summer jimmy said he was going to come, and i told him not to. zach was all you know you wanted him to come, whyd you tell him not to. ugh. he was right. well this time was a little different. i told jimmy a million and a half times how upset id be if he didnt come on friday. then we talk on friday, and he talks about coming saturday. i couldve broke my plans. i could have woven him into my plans. but that wasnt the point. he was supposed to be here friday. i wanted him here friday. so i told him not to bother. told him not to come. that i didnt want to see him. but i did. so bad. i even stayed home till 9:30 thinkin that maybe hed call and say something, or just, anything.
im not sure why i needed him THAT DAY, but he wasnt there. i was just really really disappointed. i just felt like he broke a promise to me.
part of me kinda felt like its not THAT big of a deal. he was tired. he hadnt gotten a lot of sleep. and then the other part of me was just like ugh this again. he said hed be here, he told me hed be here, and he wasnt. you can guess which part of me won.
so i needed someone, so i went to a friends house. he took me out and rented movies. i picked out a porno disguised as a drama movie! ends up we didnt even watch the movies we rented. i cried. ugh, do i always cry? i cried about something, but then i, yeah of course, cried about jimmy. and it hits me, I DONT NEED TO BE CRYING ABOUT HIM. part of it was just anger, but then part of it was just being tired of it all. so anways, we danced a little. everyone dances there. theyve got this really nice sound system that plays burned cds! why doesnt mine play burned cds?!@$ GRRRRRRRRRRR! but anywho, we sat down. i talked his ear off. he was mah shoulder. then i fell asleep at sometime around midnight. not 15 minutes into my sleep, kelsey calls. OF COURSE SHE CALLS. she asks me about jimmy and i tell her all that happened. and shes all pissed at him as usual. kelsey is clinically retarded. she told me to give justin a bj. she was all DOOOO ITTTTTTT! when she called, heh, i think he was watchin the porno i rented in the living room! hah! kelsey called jimmy. she made fun of his voice message. this is the voice mail of jibby haha. then i went back to sleep. then rolls around 2:30 and jimmy calls! cant remember too much of that conversation. him asking a few questions and me not sure how to answer. not tryin to say too much cause someone would hear.
i swear to youuuuuuuuu, i dont understand!!!! he says things to me, and i believe theyre true. ive had guys feed me their bs, but why does it feel different with him?! he says he loves me and i believe it. but actions speak louder than words.
he always used to tell me how immature i am. i know i am, in some cases. but im not the only one that needs some growing up!
heres the way i see relationships, well serious ones anyways. its about two people seeing each other as equals. you get what you put in. you give and you take. but things are equal. and then from that, you grow together.
not sure where i was going with that.
i missed the good part, then i realized, i started looking and the bubble burst. i started looking for excuses. come on in, ive gotta tell you what state im in, ive gotta tell you in my loudest tones, that i started loking for a warning sign.
when the truth is, i miss you. yeah the truth is that i miss you so.
it came back to haunt me, and i realized, that you were an island, and i passed you by. and you were an island to discover.
and im tired, i should not have let you go. so i crawl back into your open arms.
so what now? i dont know. i talked to jimmy. ugh, i dont understand. i always feel the need to tell him EVERYTHING. err. why? anyways, i cant be with him right now. i cant deal with being hurt this much. i cant be the only one giving. but im always gonna be here for him. always. see...thats what happens when i love you. you cant get rid of me. must be part of the whole my love is unconditional thing. what do you think? if he needs me, all he needs to do is ask. i told this to sander about jimmy. we started off as friends, and no matter what happens, we're always gonna be friends. so im gonna see to that staying true.
you know what i hate? when i feel like im not getting the attention i deserve. that sir, gets on my nerves beyond belief.
omg. i love my dog. you really dont understand. i love dogs. (hence, jimmy!@#*(!)@$*)&%#@ BUAHAHAHAHA!!!! just kidding.) if you take that the wrong way, im hurting you. but my dog, candy, shes getting old :( it scares me. dogs are such loyal creatures. and i swear to you, my dog, she smiles.
i spent pretty much all of saturday with connie. then i stayed the night at her house. jimmy said she had a lovely voice. grrr. shes got big boobs. you should see them. i love that girl. i mean she pulls shady shit here and there, but i love her. she made me stay awake to watch national security with her. i fell asleep halfway thru. she had to practically carry me to bed. i had fun.
sunday. church. then i went to a restaurant and ate tofu. oh but i love it.
i was driving in my car, and this song came on. i got it a while ago on my comp, but its the first time hearing it on the radio.
since the moment i spotted you, like walking around with little wings on my shoes. my stomachs filled with butterflies. ooooohhh and its arright. bouncing around from cloud to cloud, got the feeling like im never gonna come down. if i said i didnt like it then youd know id lied. and everytime i tak to you, i get tongue tied, turns out, everything i say to you comes out wrong and never comes out right, so im singing.
why dont you and i get together? well take on the world and be together forever. heads we will, tails well try again, and im singing why dont you and i get together? and fly to the moon and straight on to heaven cause without you, theyre never gonne let me in.
whens this fever gonna break? i think ive handled more than any WOman can take. im like a love sick puppy chasing you around. oooh and its arright.
why dont you and i get together? well take on the world and be together forever. heads we will, tails well try again, and im singing why dont you and i get together? and fly to the moon and straight on to heaven cause without you, theyre never gonne let me in.
slowly i begin to realize that this is never gonna end, and the moment you walk by, its like here we go again.
you ever see that chic in her car thats got her hair everywhere jus doing all kind of crazy stuff to her music? yeah thats me.
just cause she dances loco, it dont make her a ho no.
i have this weird ass thing with this journal, but umm, hmmm. i feel like if youre not gonna read all of one of my entries, DONT READ IT AT ALL. kthx?
did i ever mention where i got this whole babydoll thing from? well, when i was little, everyone used to say i looked like a babydoll. i used to say that i was a tomboy when i was little, but i so wasnt. well im not sure. i cried once cause i got my white lace socks dirty, covered in mudd. how did i get them dirty? i was playing football with the boys. heh. i always played with the boys, but at the same time, i was the girl that wanted to put rouge lipstick on when i was 3. i dunno, but anywho, then theres scott. he called me all the names you could ever think of. babydoll. babycakes. baby. cutiebabe. this list goes on. BUT THEN THE MAIN REASON I HAVE THIS WHOLE BABYDOLL THING is cause mariah carey she had a song called babydoll. this is a secret. if youre laughing, you suck! so yeah. remember i was like 12 when i made this whole babydoll thing up, so gimme a LITTLE BIT OF CREDIT. part of the song...
i wanna be your babydoll. wrap me up nice and tight, love me all thru the night. come lay me down, enfold me in your arms. cover me with velvet kisses, rock me on and on, asn whisper softly to me, you wanna be my babydoll.
hmmmm should i have been listening to this music when i was 12? thats debatable.
i used to love mariah carey sooooo much. she was my absolute favorite singer. SHUT UP! she has this song with odb called fantasy. hah still love that song.
oh oh and babydoll was track 7 on her cd. THERE GOES MY OBSESSION WITH THE NUMBER 7! hah. i swear, 7 is my lucky number. i was born on the seventh. g...hah jus happens to be the seventh letter in the alphabet. coincidence? I THINK NOT!
growing up, i never liked madonna that much. i mean she was just kinda neutral. i like her stuff now, oddly enough. i dont like her new stuff all that much tho. one song i really like, take a bow. i was wondering why, and guess what? babyface wrote and produced it. THAT EXPLAINS IT!
say your lines, but do you feel them?
do you mean what you say when theres no one around?
make them laugh, it comes so easy...
when you get to the part where youre breaking my heart.
hide behind your smile, all the world loves a clown.
wish you well, i cannot stay.
you deserve an award for the role that you played.
all the world is a stage,
and everyone has their part.
how was i to know which way the storyd go?
how was i to know you'd break...
you'd break my heart.
ive always been in love with you...
i guess youve always known its true.
you took my love for granted, why oh why?
this show is over, say goodbye.
that song was jus really...well written. i think she sings it good too. its kinda sad tho no?
I HAVE SO MUCH TO WRITE ABOUT!@#$
in the midnight hour...
id sell my soul for you babe
for money to burn with you
id give you all, and have none, babe
just, just, just to have you here by me.
ive been listening to wayyyy too many songs lately, but umm i love it?
you have so many relationships in this life
only one or two will last
youre going thru all this pain and strife
then you turn your back and theyre gone so face
so hold on to the ones who really care
in the end, theyll be the only ones there
when you get old and start losing your hair
can you tell me who will still care?
hah, so tell me...who sings this song?
buahahaha.
no googling either.
im learning how to write in korean! agh! its a lil late, but im a strong believer in, BETTER LATE THAN NEVER! its so elementary tho. im learning an alphabet all over again. then not just that, im saying ka kya ku kyu ko kyo ... over and over. i was in my car this morning, and i started saying this to myself. this is outta control.
growing up, i swear to you, i heard conway twittys name a million time. my dad has always, for some reason, found a way to bring his name up. what song does he sing? this one
you want a man with a slow hand
you want a lover with an easy touch
you want somebody who will spend some time
not come and go in a heated rush
you want somebody who will understand
when it comes to love, you want a slow hand
BUAHAHAHAHA.
that is all.
this weekend made me think about A LOT of things. it all started friday. i went out and talked to my friend jizz. i love jizz. hah. i love this nickname me and kelsey gave her. when we were at the less than jake concert, i was like HEYYY JIZZZZZZ IM RIGHT HERE! JIZZZZZ! then all these guys behind me where like HEYYYYYYYYY JIZZZZZ SHES RIGHT HEREEEEEEEE! well it was amusing. anywho, shes my relief sometimes. i love talking to her. we talk about anything and everything. she wanted me there, so i was happy to be there for her.
then i was supposed to see jimmy. at 7. i didnt really let him know how excited i was about it. i told everyone. you know everyone being jizz, kelsey, zach, justin, connie, and annie. oh and jeff. so i get home, call him, and i woke him up. we went thru this whole thing, and i ended up telling him not to come. it's funny how i do that. zach called me out on this before. some time this summer jimmy said he was going to come, and i told him not to. zach was all you know you wanted him to come, whyd you tell him not to. ugh. he was right. well this time was a little different. i told jimmy a million and a half times how upset id be if he didnt come on friday. then we talk on friday, and he talks about coming saturday. i couldve broke my plans. i could have woven him into my plans. but that wasnt the point. he was supposed to be here friday. i wanted him here friday. so i told him not to bother. told him not to come. that i didnt want to see him. but i did. so bad. i even stayed home till 9:30 thinkin that maybe hed call and say something, or just, anything.
im not sure why i needed him THAT DAY, but he wasnt there. i was just really really disappointed. i just felt like he broke a promise to me.
part of me kinda felt like its not THAT big of a deal. he was tired. he hadnt gotten a lot of sleep. and then the other part of me was just like ugh this again. he said hed be here, he told me hed be here, and he wasnt. you can guess which part of me won.
so i needed someone, so i went to a friends house. he took me out and rented movies. i picked out a porno disguised as a drama movie! ends up we didnt even watch the movies we rented. i cried. ugh, do i always cry? i cried about something, but then i, yeah of course, cried about jimmy. and it hits me, I DONT NEED TO BE CRYING ABOUT HIM. part of it was just anger, but then part of it was just being tired of it all. so anways, we danced a little. everyone dances there. theyve got this really nice sound system that plays burned cds! why doesnt mine play burned cds?!@$ GRRRRRRRRRRR! but anywho, we sat down. i talked his ear off. he was mah shoulder. then i fell asleep at sometime around midnight. not 15 minutes into my sleep, kelsey calls. OF COURSE SHE CALLS. she asks me about jimmy and i tell her all that happened. and shes all pissed at him as usual. kelsey is clinically retarded. she told me to give justin a bj. she was all DOOOO ITTTTTTT! when she called, heh, i think he was watchin the porno i rented in the living room! hah! kelsey called jimmy. she made fun of his voice message. this is the voice mail of jibby haha. then i went back to sleep. then rolls around 2:30 and jimmy calls! cant remember too much of that conversation. him asking a few questions and me not sure how to answer. not tryin to say too much cause someone would hear.
i swear to youuuuuuuuu, i dont understand!!!! he says things to me, and i believe theyre true. ive had guys feed me their bs, but why does it feel different with him?! he says he loves me and i believe it. but actions speak louder than words.
he always used to tell me how immature i am. i know i am, in some cases. but im not the only one that needs some growing up!
heres the way i see relationships, well serious ones anyways. its about two people seeing each other as equals. you get what you put in. you give and you take. but things are equal. and then from that, you grow together.
not sure where i was going with that.
i missed the good part, then i realized, i started looking and the bubble burst. i started looking for excuses. come on in, ive gotta tell you what state im in, ive gotta tell you in my loudest tones, that i started loking for a warning sign.
when the truth is, i miss you. yeah the truth is that i miss you so.
it came back to haunt me, and i realized, that you were an island, and i passed you by. and you were an island to discover.
and im tired, i should not have let you go. so i crawl back into your open arms.
so what now? i dont know. i talked to jimmy. ugh, i dont understand. i always feel the need to tell him EVERYTHING. err. why? anyways, i cant be with him right now. i cant deal with being hurt this much. i cant be the only one giving. but im always gonna be here for him. always. see...thats what happens when i love you. you cant get rid of me. must be part of the whole my love is unconditional thing. what do you think? if he needs me, all he needs to do is ask. i told this to sander about jimmy. we started off as friends, and no matter what happens, we're always gonna be friends. so im gonna see to that staying true.
you know what i hate? when i feel like im not getting the attention i deserve. that sir, gets on my nerves beyond belief.
omg. i love my dog. you really dont understand. i love dogs. (hence, jimmy!@#*(!)@$*)&%#@ BUAHAHAHAHA!!!! just kidding.) if you take that the wrong way, im hurting you. but my dog, candy, shes getting old :( it scares me. dogs are such loyal creatures. and i swear to you, my dog, she smiles.
i spent pretty much all of saturday with connie. then i stayed the night at her house. jimmy said she had a lovely voice. grrr. shes got big boobs. you should see them. i love that girl. i mean she pulls shady shit here and there, but i love her. she made me stay awake to watch national security with her. i fell asleep halfway thru. she had to practically carry me to bed. i had fun.
sunday. church. then i went to a restaurant and ate tofu. oh but i love it.
i was driving in my car, and this song came on. i got it a while ago on my comp, but its the first time hearing it on the radio.
since the moment i spotted you, like walking around with little wings on my shoes. my stomachs filled with butterflies. ooooohhh and its arright. bouncing around from cloud to cloud, got the feeling like im never gonna come down. if i said i didnt like it then youd know id lied. and everytime i tak to you, i get tongue tied, turns out, everything i say to you comes out wrong and never comes out right, so im singing.
why dont you and i get together? well take on the world and be together forever. heads we will, tails well try again, and im singing why dont you and i get together? and fly to the moon and straight on to heaven cause without you, theyre never gonne let me in.
whens this fever gonna break? i think ive handled more than any WOman can take. im like a love sick puppy chasing you around. oooh and its arright.
why dont you and i get together? well take on the world and be together forever. heads we will, tails well try again, and im singing why dont you and i get together? and fly to the moon and straight on to heaven cause without you, theyre never gonne let me in.
slowly i begin to realize that this is never gonna end, and the moment you walk by, its like here we go again.
you ever see that chic in her car thats got her hair everywhere jus doing all kind of crazy stuff to her music? yeah thats me.