my will to live...
why i shouldn't die.
commitment to my EB team
i pledged my promise to the team, that none of us is going to leave during our term. we're in this together, and no matter what, we will strive to the end. maintain, sustain, continue, aiesec auckland's culture of excellence. this isn't just an obligation to the team, but a promise i made to my friends. we'll work through everything together..."we're all in this together"....
cool class
honours is difficult. its suffocating. its stressing. staying in university until late at night...9-10pm usually, after midnight occassionally. barely managing to complete assignments 1 minute before deadline (and even 10 mins AFTER deadline). rushing assignments so bad that i don't even have time to eat, and end up not eating anything for 15 hours. haven't had the time to meet some of my working friends - they're not in university, which makes it hard to see, and i just don't have to time to go out. there are close friends that i haven't seen since i went back to hong kong, that's like....6 months.
BUT.
in a class of 14, its like intermediate all over again. where you're in the same class as the same few people, everyday. faced with 5 years of high school in a class of 30 and different classes for "electives", and 4 years of university with indifferent classes of 150...faced with different people everday, every class. you could barely recognize who is in your class, not that you would pay much attention to them. fosters the increasingly indifferent stance said to be demonstrated in contemporary culture. however, in this class....once again, you get to know the people in your class. we spend our time afterclass in the postgrad labs doing our assignments. we occassionally go to lunch together after class. we suffer and stay up late in the night, struggling to complete our assignments. we share resources, we clarify stuff for one another, and politely listen to each other's boring presentations and try to stay awake and actively participate. they nod encouragingly as you mumble through your 30 mins presentation. they take photos of you while you sleep and post them on facebook (i hate you yuen <3). i regret taking postgrad for its work, but i do not regret taking postgrad for the commaradie.
amazing friends
i have a bunch of amazing friends. uber amazing. locally, nationally, internationally, and virtually. friends i can count on. i know they'll be there for me. i know that no matter what happens, they'll be there to catch me when i fall. they're supportive, caring, trustworthy, and is always there for a comforting hug. we have random crazy moments, serious business moments, as well as heartful chats. whether it be little things like giving me a hug, scabbing food off each other, merely sending a message checking up on me or just hang out for fun..... i have amazing friends.
jordan. he's been there more times for me than i can count. he'll run and grab tissues for me when i cry. give a reassuring hug when i need it the most. walk with me to places. drive 20mins and supper with me at 1am. drive and help me sort out stuff when my car got towed. came and save me when i was lost on the motorway. piggybacked me cuz it was too painful to walk in heels. gave me advice and new perspectives in team and people situations. believed in me even when i didn't believe in myself. worry about me being too stressed, too sleep-deprived.... was wondering the other day, why i cry so much in front of him (just, stress....). gah. but i guess maybe its cuz i'm comfortable with him....to not hold back.
chun. even though he doesn't live locally.. in fact, in palmerston north (another city further down south in the north island)...he's called to chat, and promised he'll be there for me. when i'm stressed, he'll always message and show concern. when i'm confused, he'll reassure me it'll be okay. even when he's entirely stressed, he'll care... and. even tho he's busy, he proofreads my essays for me <3 lol~
gerald. when i first met him, i never knew we would be such friends. he motivated me to not drop out of honours. he kept me sane when i'm going insane. he kept my tears in check when life just overwhelmed me. he kept in touch even though he lives in hong kong. he patiently listens, without trying to impose his views on me. he provides objective perspectives, whilst acknowledging it can't be entirely objective. he is FAIR. he taught me not to give up. he. is. my source of inspiration....
jeric. silly boy. very sweet and cute tho. within 5 days in ripples conference, hanging out all day from day to night, from waking up and eating breakfast, to going to sessions, to picking up rubbish on the beach, to dinner, to partying, he has been nothing but an awesome friend. i remember he'll ditch yeggo and come sit with me, just cuz he "doesn't like to see me sitting alone"~ or sitting with me when i'm too tired to party...and so on~ again, so glad we keep in touch, despite him being all the way in phillipines....
mikko. random jokes aside... there's so many, just, moments. mikko, jordan......we could sit and laugh at youtube videos, talk about dragonball, and even....tomatos. (even though that joke was really too overused). i remember, back in the days, was at dinner with jordan, mikko, jian, josh, allen... and what i gathered was "...oh wow. -___________-|||. not gona have dinner with a table-full of only guys again"~ lol. just, random memories. he also helped me with my tow away car, my stupid heels, and calming me down as i stare at my packed calendar in despair. mikko. heh. he has more confidence in what i can do, more than i ever could. ER? we'll see.....
vivian. not many people give me honest charcacter/behavioural feedback as her. we're different in so many ways, in perceptions, thoughts, personality, behaviour, aspirations, background....yet we manage to be such close friends. she's someone i could trust. utlimately, we're friends because despite all differences and conflicts we've had, we've always pulled through.
iquint. iquint. despite how silly he is, or how random messages are....i know he cares. he'll send me texts, all the way from USA, telling me to smile, which really effectively makes me smile. he's always encouraging and supportive. he put so much thought into getting me birthday/graduation gifts (before i even graduated), with a reason behind each of them. it was the most thoughtful present i've received, and the one i took the most joy in seeing. which is funny. i was absolutely unenthusiastic about presents. they laid on my floor for days, before i finally got round to opening them. i remember as a kid, i just couldn't wait to see whats under all that pretty paper. now, i just don't seem to care. is it age? is it indfference? or is it the knowledge that it wouldn't be anything i really wanted, because i either didn't want anything, or that anything someone would buy for me i could get myself anyways. not sure. but after seeing iquint's gifts, i felt that excitment towards the rest of his little parcels i had not felt in many years.....
fox. foxy foxy. even though i've never met fox irl, it seems we know each other quite well. daily chats does help, i guess... fox is someone i trust, whether it be with my passwords, my boy secrets, discussions, or complaints, i trust fox to keep it within the conversation, to not throw a tantrum because we disagree, and trust her to offer unbias advice. we have random, long, and sometimes educational discussions. always fun and interesting, and takes my mind off stuff. interestingly, i mentioned a while ago, talking to fox makes me feel that i actually did learn something from my 4.5 years in university. where else can i apply psychological and marketing concepts/theories, and empirical research?!
ken. again, a semi-daily conversationalist. thanks to timezone and an extremely hectic schedule on my part, don't really see him that much anymore. despite so, i know he's there, and he hasn't forgotten about me! sometimes, i'll scroll back in chat, and he'll mention me once every so often. woot. feels nice to not be forgotten, despite my presence there, and online, has drastically decreased since last year, and even more so this year. when i feel emo, and has all these recurring emo song lyrics in my mind, i know ken would be there to share emo lyrics with me =D heheh~
johnnie. we both have pretty whacked sleeping patterns. we're both struggling to keep our heads above the piles of paper that is our studies. then we both whine to each other about our work. its somewhat comforting =P johnnie johnnie. i'm so sad he went to australia to study, but i'm so glad he still messages, despite his complaints of me never messaging first (i get that complaint a lot). the wonderful thing about all of it is, even though i haven't seen him in a long time, when i do, its like nothing has changed. we can not chat for a long time, and it'll still be the same. hMM! hope to see you soon, johnnie! come back NZ!
even though i only get 3-4 hours sleep daily, and have huge black circles around my eyes, and huge eye bags the size of a purple pouch.... life in general, is good. i should. i shall. plough on.
i am appreciative and grateful for all these awesome people in my life... <3
and yesssss. finally survived. did take a 3 hour nap between 12 and 3pm...~ but otherwise, woot. 31 hours awake! and i feel ok! that 3 hours nap is goooood....~ so, essentially, this post took 31 hours to finally complete. way to procrastinate in between, but also was a good motivation to carry on...... now i just need food. haven't eaten yet, and its 11.57pm...><"~
one assignment down, 2 exams and 2 assignments to go. all within this week and next. woah. stress stress stress. entire books to plough through. woahh. rararaa~
commitment to my EB team
i pledged my promise to the team, that none of us is going to leave during our term. we're in this together, and no matter what, we will strive to the end. maintain, sustain, continue, aiesec auckland's culture of excellence. this isn't just an obligation to the team, but a promise i made to my friends. we'll work through everything together..."we're all in this together"....
cool class
honours is difficult. its suffocating. its stressing. staying in university until late at night...9-10pm usually, after midnight occassionally. barely managing to complete assignments 1 minute before deadline (and even 10 mins AFTER deadline). rushing assignments so bad that i don't even have time to eat, and end up not eating anything for 15 hours. haven't had the time to meet some of my working friends - they're not in university, which makes it hard to see, and i just don't have to time to go out. there are close friends that i haven't seen since i went back to hong kong, that's like....6 months.
BUT.
in a class of 14, its like intermediate all over again. where you're in the same class as the same few people, everyday. faced with 5 years of high school in a class of 30 and different classes for "electives", and 4 years of university with indifferent classes of 150...faced with different people everday, every class. you could barely recognize who is in your class, not that you would pay much attention to them. fosters the increasingly indifferent stance said to be demonstrated in contemporary culture. however, in this class....once again, you get to know the people in your class. we spend our time afterclass in the postgrad labs doing our assignments. we occassionally go to lunch together after class. we suffer and stay up late in the night, struggling to complete our assignments. we share resources, we clarify stuff for one another, and politely listen to each other's boring presentations and try to stay awake and actively participate. they nod encouragingly as you mumble through your 30 mins presentation. they take photos of you while you sleep and post them on facebook (i hate you yuen <3). i regret taking postgrad for its work, but i do not regret taking postgrad for the commaradie.
amazing friends
i have a bunch of amazing friends. uber amazing. locally, nationally, internationally, and virtually. friends i can count on. i know they'll be there for me. i know that no matter what happens, they'll be there to catch me when i fall. they're supportive, caring, trustworthy, and is always there for a comforting hug. we have random crazy moments, serious business moments, as well as heartful chats. whether it be little things like giving me a hug, scabbing food off each other, merely sending a message checking up on me or just hang out for fun..... i have amazing friends.
jordan. he's been there more times for me than i can count. he'll run and grab tissues for me when i cry. give a reassuring hug when i need it the most. walk with me to places. drive 20mins and supper with me at 1am. drive and help me sort out stuff when my car got towed. came and save me when i was lost on the motorway. piggybacked me cuz it was too painful to walk in heels. gave me advice and new perspectives in team and people situations. believed in me even when i didn't believe in myself. worry about me being too stressed, too sleep-deprived.... was wondering the other day, why i cry so much in front of him (just, stress....). gah. but i guess maybe its cuz i'm comfortable with him....to not hold back.
chun. even though he doesn't live locally.. in fact, in palmerston north (another city further down south in the north island)...he's called to chat, and promised he'll be there for me. when i'm stressed, he'll always message and show concern. when i'm confused, he'll reassure me it'll be okay. even when he's entirely stressed, he'll care... and. even tho he's busy, he proofreads my essays for me <3 lol~
gerald. when i first met him, i never knew we would be such friends. he motivated me to not drop out of honours. he kept me sane when i'm going insane. he kept my tears in check when life just overwhelmed me. he kept in touch even though he lives in hong kong. he patiently listens, without trying to impose his views on me. he provides objective perspectives, whilst acknowledging it can't be entirely objective. he is FAIR. he taught me not to give up. he. is. my source of inspiration....
jeric. silly boy. very sweet and cute tho. within 5 days in ripples conference, hanging out all day from day to night, from waking up and eating breakfast, to going to sessions, to picking up rubbish on the beach, to dinner, to partying, he has been nothing but an awesome friend. i remember he'll ditch yeggo and come sit with me, just cuz he "doesn't like to see me sitting alone"~ or sitting with me when i'm too tired to party...and so on~ again, so glad we keep in touch, despite him being all the way in phillipines....
mikko. random jokes aside... there's so many, just, moments. mikko, jordan......we could sit and laugh at youtube videos, talk about dragonball, and even....tomatos. (even though that joke was really too overused). i remember, back in the days, was at dinner with jordan, mikko, jian, josh, allen... and what i gathered was "...oh wow. -___________-|||. not gona have dinner with a table-full of only guys again"~ lol. just, random memories. he also helped me with my tow away car, my stupid heels, and calming me down as i stare at my packed calendar in despair. mikko. heh. he has more confidence in what i can do, more than i ever could. ER? we'll see.....
vivian. not many people give me honest charcacter/behavioural feedback as her. we're different in so many ways, in perceptions, thoughts, personality, behaviour, aspirations, background....yet we manage to be such close friends. she's someone i could trust. utlimately, we're friends because despite all differences and conflicts we've had, we've always pulled through.
iquint. iquint. despite how silly he is, or how random messages are....i know he cares. he'll send me texts, all the way from USA, telling me to smile, which really effectively makes me smile. he's always encouraging and supportive. he put so much thought into getting me birthday/graduation gifts (before i even graduated), with a reason behind each of them. it was the most thoughtful present i've received, and the one i took the most joy in seeing. which is funny. i was absolutely unenthusiastic about presents. they laid on my floor for days, before i finally got round to opening them. i remember as a kid, i just couldn't wait to see whats under all that pretty paper. now, i just don't seem to care. is it age? is it indfference? or is it the knowledge that it wouldn't be anything i really wanted, because i either didn't want anything, or that anything someone would buy for me i could get myself anyways. not sure. but after seeing iquint's gifts, i felt that excitment towards the rest of his little parcels i had not felt in many years.....
fox. foxy foxy. even though i've never met fox irl, it seems we know each other quite well. daily chats does help, i guess... fox is someone i trust, whether it be with my passwords, my boy secrets, discussions, or complaints, i trust fox to keep it within the conversation, to not throw a tantrum because we disagree, and trust her to offer unbias advice. we have random, long, and sometimes educational discussions. always fun and interesting, and takes my mind off stuff. interestingly, i mentioned a while ago, talking to fox makes me feel that i actually did learn something from my 4.5 years in university. where else can i apply psychological and marketing concepts/theories, and empirical research?!
ken. again, a semi-daily conversationalist. thanks to timezone and an extremely hectic schedule on my part, don't really see him that much anymore. despite so, i know he's there, and he hasn't forgotten about me! sometimes, i'll scroll back in chat, and he'll mention me once every so often. woot. feels nice to not be forgotten, despite my presence there, and online, has drastically decreased since last year, and even more so this year. when i feel emo, and has all these recurring emo song lyrics in my mind, i know ken would be there to share emo lyrics with me =D heheh~
johnnie. we both have pretty whacked sleeping patterns. we're both struggling to keep our heads above the piles of paper that is our studies. then we both whine to each other about our work. its somewhat comforting =P johnnie johnnie. i'm so sad he went to australia to study, but i'm so glad he still messages, despite his complaints of me never messaging first (i get that complaint a lot). the wonderful thing about all of it is, even though i haven't seen him in a long time, when i do, its like nothing has changed. we can not chat for a long time, and it'll still be the same. hMM! hope to see you soon, johnnie! come back NZ!
even though i only get 3-4 hours sleep daily, and have huge black circles around my eyes, and huge eye bags the size of a purple pouch.... life in general, is good. i should. i shall. plough on.
i am appreciative and grateful for all these awesome people in my life... <3
and yesssss. finally survived. did take a 3 hour nap between 12 and 3pm...~ but otherwise, woot. 31 hours awake! and i feel ok! that 3 hours nap is goooood....~ so, essentially, this post took 31 hours to finally complete. way to procrastinate in between, but also was a good motivation to carry on...... now i just need food. haven't eaten yet, and its 11.57pm...><"~
one assignment down, 2 exams and 2 assignments to go. all within this week and next. woah. stress stress stress. entire books to plough through. woahh. rararaa~