a wild summer
two months or so ago, i was walking home from the store. it was snowing. then lesley called me on my cell phone. she asked if i had bought the christmas presents yet. i had completely forgotten. then somehow i was in a class. it was like college in the sense that there were adults taking the class as well. but it was like high school in the sense that there was a principal and an assistant principal and it was all in the same building. anyway, during the middle of the class, one of the adult men stood up and pointed with one finger toward the left side of his chest, then collapsed to the floor. somehow we figured out that it was the international sign for heart attack. so we called 911 and the paramedics came. the principal came to calm us down and for whatever reason we started talking about history. then someone got really mad and said that it was the assistant principal's fault that east germany was so far behind west germany economically and politically. he said that the assistant principal had been the u.s. general placed in charge of east germany after world war II, and that he had been a complete dictator, not letting anyone do anything. because of him, there were hundreds and thousands of poor, orphaned children. i went to the orphanage and was so saddened by what i saw that i had to adopt all the children.
about a month ago, lindsey was in the hospital. it was christmas eve and we decided that we were going to call her on the phone from the living room of my house in connecticut. everyone was there: grandma, grandpa, geno, jenean, lesley, sara, dave, the a's, and rebecca, paul, cindy, the m's, laurie, adam, jeff, beth and december, amy, scott, colin and riley, and eddie too. so we figured we would call lindsey and sing christmas carols to her. but no one could decide which ones we were going to sing and i got really pissed because it was almost time for rudolph, frosty, and santa claus is coming to town to come on TV and i really wanted to watch them.
a few weeks ago, aaron cut his hand. thanks to my wilderness first aid training, i decided that i was the most qualified person to bandage it up for him. but aunt sara came by and told me that aaron was allergic to anything with benzene derivatives in it. so i had to go through all the antibiotics we had in the house to find something without benzene so that i could clean off aaron's cut.
last week, we were at a campground with audrey and autumn. while we were there, this oozing lava destroyed part of the campground. a lot of people were killed. they had been in the campground swimming pool, which had filled up from the bottom with lava. unfortunately, they hadn't completely melted and you could still seem them, motionless, in the lava. the campground owners called us to explain the danger and what was being done. while we were there, this woman who lived 5 hours from us asked my parents if we could give her a ride home since her car got burned in the lava. the pool was about 15 feet below where we were seated, and there was nothing to rope off the giant hole in the middle of the ground. audrey and autumn kept wanting to look over the edge to see, and i kept trying to pull them back. audrey got away and fell over the edge and landed on the cement deck that surrounded the pool, just inches from the lava. a security guard for the campground ran, grabbed her, and brought her back. for the rest of the trip i kept having to fight them from going to see the lava. and everytime i would give them a bath, they had this weird black stuff on their feet. ash maybe. but whenever i washed it off, it always came back. finally we left and we drove the lady home. but she had no bathroom in her house, so if you had to go, you had to walk down the street to the truck stop. she had 5 dining room tables and two stoves. before we left, she asked my dad to set up a wireless network for her.
the next day, i woke up from sleeping over at somebody's house. i was packing all my stuff back up and had my old cell phone (a motorola startac) with me. but i didn't have anywhere to put it so i put it in my mouth. for some reason i started chewing it and when i finally spit it back out, it was in a million pieces. i knew my dad would be mad. i found out that if i put all the pieces in the palm of my right hand and stared at it really hard, they would magically come back together by themselves. the only problem was that the buttons were out of order, so you didn't know what would happen when you pushed any specific button. so i kept having to chew up the phone, rearrange the buttons, then stare at it to put it back together. finally i figured out that i had to arrange the numbers like 312, 645, 978. then it would work correctly and when the phone came back together, the numbers would appear in the correct order (123, etc.) on the number pad.
last night i was on a tour bus. my parents were sitting up towards the front and i was more to the back. a creepy 30-something guy came and sat in the seat next to me. he kept trying to put moves on me, putting his arm around my shoulder and stuff. as the bus was going along, i saw a cheetah (a live one) standing by the door of a building with a balloon attached to its collar. i tried to call 911 but as the bus turned the corner i found out that it was zoo day, and all the animals of the zoo were let out in public so that the people could pet and see them up close. there were lions, elephants, seals, etc. then we left the town and the creepy guy made me give him my phone number.
about a month ago, lindsey was in the hospital. it was christmas eve and we decided that we were going to call her on the phone from the living room of my house in connecticut. everyone was there: grandma, grandpa, geno, jenean, lesley, sara, dave, the a's, and rebecca, paul, cindy, the m's, laurie, adam, jeff, beth and december, amy, scott, colin and riley, and eddie too. so we figured we would call lindsey and sing christmas carols to her. but no one could decide which ones we were going to sing and i got really pissed because it was almost time for rudolph, frosty, and santa claus is coming to town to come on TV and i really wanted to watch them.
a few weeks ago, aaron cut his hand. thanks to my wilderness first aid training, i decided that i was the most qualified person to bandage it up for him. but aunt sara came by and told me that aaron was allergic to anything with benzene derivatives in it. so i had to go through all the antibiotics we had in the house to find something without benzene so that i could clean off aaron's cut.
last week, we were at a campground with audrey and autumn. while we were there, this oozing lava destroyed part of the campground. a lot of people were killed. they had been in the campground swimming pool, which had filled up from the bottom with lava. unfortunately, they hadn't completely melted and you could still seem them, motionless, in the lava. the campground owners called us to explain the danger and what was being done. while we were there, this woman who lived 5 hours from us asked my parents if we could give her a ride home since her car got burned in the lava. the pool was about 15 feet below where we were seated, and there was nothing to rope off the giant hole in the middle of the ground. audrey and autumn kept wanting to look over the edge to see, and i kept trying to pull them back. audrey got away and fell over the edge and landed on the cement deck that surrounded the pool, just inches from the lava. a security guard for the campground ran, grabbed her, and brought her back. for the rest of the trip i kept having to fight them from going to see the lava. and everytime i would give them a bath, they had this weird black stuff on their feet. ash maybe. but whenever i washed it off, it always came back. finally we left and we drove the lady home. but she had no bathroom in her house, so if you had to go, you had to walk down the street to the truck stop. she had 5 dining room tables and two stoves. before we left, she asked my dad to set up a wireless network for her.
the next day, i woke up from sleeping over at somebody's house. i was packing all my stuff back up and had my old cell phone (a motorola startac) with me. but i didn't have anywhere to put it so i put it in my mouth. for some reason i started chewing it and when i finally spit it back out, it was in a million pieces. i knew my dad would be mad. i found out that if i put all the pieces in the palm of my right hand and stared at it really hard, they would magically come back together by themselves. the only problem was that the buttons were out of order, so you didn't know what would happen when you pushed any specific button. so i kept having to chew up the phone, rearrange the buttons, then stare at it to put it back together. finally i figured out that i had to arrange the numbers like 312, 645, 978. then it would work correctly and when the phone came back together, the numbers would appear in the correct order (123, etc.) on the number pad.
last night i was on a tour bus. my parents were sitting up towards the front and i was more to the back. a creepy 30-something guy came and sat in the seat next to me. he kept trying to put moves on me, putting his arm around my shoulder and stuff. as the bus was going along, i saw a cheetah (a live one) standing by the door of a building with a balloon attached to its collar. i tried to call 911 but as the bus turned the corner i found out that it was zoo day, and all the animals of the zoo were let out in public so that the people could pet and see them up close. there were lions, elephants, seals, etc. then we left the town and the creepy guy made me give him my phone number.