(no subject)
So, I went to a back appointment today and well.... needless to say, I've definitely got to get surgery.... I had x-rays done and they turned out a butt load better than the other doctor's(Dr. Ken Doll, I call him... he was an asshole...) and it turns out my Cobb angle(I think that's what it's called... you know, the curvature of my spine) is 151 degrees... They say you should get surgery if you're over 45 degrees..... well, I'm definitely over... and apparently the reason my leg and hips go numb when I walk a lot is that my spinal chord is being stretched because of the crazy curvature of my spine and if I don't get surgery I'm more likely to become paralysed than if I had surgery... and I'm TERRIFIED of being paralysed..
Of course the doctors had to untie my gown in the back and grope around my back, and I'm just really shy about that stuff so I started crying a little bit, it was embarrassing.... Of course, one of the guys in the room was extremely cute, grrr..Then Dr. Rowe came in and he was sooooooooooooooo much better than Dr. Ken Doll... Man, it's like they're on opposite ends of the spectrum.. He is so much more conservative and kinder and understanding and not all "Oooh, this girl's spine will make me famous because I worked on it!! I'm so excited, I can't wait to start cutting her up... Who cares if she survives??" That was his attitude about the whole thing.. But, Dr. Rowe is more "I'm not in it to correct her curvature, just to relieve pressure and hopefully stop her spinal chord from being stretched more" and he actually said, "If we want to be really greedy and try to correct the curvature all the way, then we could.. But, I'd rather not do that because that's a lot more dangerous." So he's actually in it for my benefit, not so that he can get the recognition.
Oh, and when I do get the surgery, I'll be in the hospital for probably 3 weeks... One week before the surgery to have pins in my head and my hips and some device attached to try to stretch out my spine more before surgery, and then possible 2 weeks recovery in the hospital..... I am NOOOT looking forward to that at all..... Ugh... I'm positive there will be tons of crying that month.. from pain as well as frustration... I just hope I can handle it. I mean, I know I can, but I'm almost dreading it..
Of course the doctors had to untie my gown in the back and grope around my back, and I'm just really shy about that stuff so I started crying a little bit, it was embarrassing.... Of course, one of the guys in the room was extremely cute, grrr..Then Dr. Rowe came in and he was sooooooooooooooo much better than Dr. Ken Doll... Man, it's like they're on opposite ends of the spectrum.. He is so much more conservative and kinder and understanding and not all "Oooh, this girl's spine will make me famous because I worked on it!! I'm so excited, I can't wait to start cutting her up... Who cares if she survives??" That was his attitude about the whole thing.. But, Dr. Rowe is more "I'm not in it to correct her curvature, just to relieve pressure and hopefully stop her spinal chord from being stretched more" and he actually said, "If we want to be really greedy and try to correct the curvature all the way, then we could.. But, I'd rather not do that because that's a lot more dangerous." So he's actually in it for my benefit, not so that he can get the recognition.
Oh, and when I do get the surgery, I'll be in the hospital for probably 3 weeks... One week before the surgery to have pins in my head and my hips and some device attached to try to stretch out my spine more before surgery, and then possible 2 weeks recovery in the hospital..... I am NOOOT looking forward to that at all..... Ugh... I'm positive there will be tons of crying that month.. from pain as well as frustration... I just hope I can handle it. I mean, I know I can, but I'm almost dreading it..