The Cultural and Social Significance of Andy Milonakis
The compulsion to draft has struck again. Loads going on, with the summer swiftly approaching and the cruise being heralded by our credit card bill today. Tremendous. And for everyone whos tired of being assaulted with feline pheromones at my house, come Saturday morning:
KITTY GETS SPAYED.
Thats right, no more uncomfortable cries, no more intimate foot grinding sessions, and no cha cha slide. Im thrilled that we got bumped up, and if Roxy knew I was about ten seconds from doing it myself with a Gerber, she would be too. What else? Oh, yes. Oysters steamed on the grill are crazy delicious.
I think all the garnish is out of the way; now for some hard hitting facts. I was sitting in bed one lazy evening not long ago when I caught my first glimpse of 'The Andy Milonakis Show'. Before this, I knew a) that I recognized him online from 'The Super Bowl is Gay', which I actually thought was kind of funny, and b) that he was actually 29 or something, making the former a little less funny. So I watching this tubby waste talk baby talk with a surprisingly high number of celebrity guests. 'Well, thisll get a six episode run before swift, brutal cancellation. After all, this is too stupid, even for MTV', I thought contentedly to myself as I switched to slightly more sophisticated Adult Swim. Nearly a year later, the show is gearing up for a second season of cheap camera tricks and what will now inevitably be a cameo by Chuck Norris, who will have little to no idea why hes there. Okay, I like a lot of dumb, cheap laughs myself, but this cant really be enjoyed by others, enough to still the fickle hand of MTV executives. To provide basis for my theory, I asked my contemporaries if I was crazy, or if this was really unwatchable despite the obvious ratings it receives. Naturally, my peers overwhelmingly agreed. This was crap. As I was pondering who was watching if young people werent, Jerry told me that his young teenage sister 'loved' it. Then it hit me.
I wasnt 'young people'. I was 'working people'. Too busy to sit around watching TV (or so they thought), I was out working to make money for the stuff they advertised to kids, and eventually, my children. Now, I knew this, but it hadnt really hit me. Until recently, companies marketing to youth would begin by making something cool to college-aged kids, who tend to be broke. The money is actually made when high schoolers (living at home and having copious amounts of disposable income) would see what the cool college kids were watching/wearing/doing, and then Mommy and Daddys cash would really start to flow. Apparently, some MTV bigwig did a little research and skipped the first step. Instead of waiting for a fad to come around to twentysomethings, they present a product which only SEEMS like the grads would like it. And the true genius of this concept? Not only do they not have to wait for some collegian to 'discover' it, but when they contest the actual coolness of 'The Andy Milonakis Show' to their little brother, the little brother gleefully ascertains that their older sibling 'just must not GET it'. And nothing is cooler than being at the very cusp of cool, and not the dottering old 24 year old whos lost touch. I GET it, okay, it just sucks.
Right?
Or have I turned into my parents? Where Id previously imagined them painstakingly trying to understand the innate complexities of 'The State' and 'The Kids in the Hall', they may have just understood it, and genuinely thought they werent funny. Either Im out of touch, or a door has been opened. A door to enlightenment and understanding that we are all promised comes with age. A door to wisdom disguised as an inability to connect with whats 'cool'. Is 'Andy Milonakis' the first sign of my generation becoming old and out of touch? If the herald of the end of our youth is that gooey clown, is becoming old and out of touch really the sentence it seemed for so long?
KITTY GETS SPAYED.
Thats right, no more uncomfortable cries, no more intimate foot grinding sessions, and no cha cha slide. Im thrilled that we got bumped up, and if Roxy knew I was about ten seconds from doing it myself with a Gerber, she would be too. What else? Oh, yes. Oysters steamed on the grill are crazy delicious.
I think all the garnish is out of the way; now for some hard hitting facts. I was sitting in bed one lazy evening not long ago when I caught my first glimpse of 'The Andy Milonakis Show'. Before this, I knew a) that I recognized him online from 'The Super Bowl is Gay', which I actually thought was kind of funny, and b) that he was actually 29 or something, making the former a little less funny. So I watching this tubby waste talk baby talk with a surprisingly high number of celebrity guests. 'Well, thisll get a six episode run before swift, brutal cancellation. After all, this is too stupid, even for MTV', I thought contentedly to myself as I switched to slightly more sophisticated Adult Swim. Nearly a year later, the show is gearing up for a second season of cheap camera tricks and what will now inevitably be a cameo by Chuck Norris, who will have little to no idea why hes there. Okay, I like a lot of dumb, cheap laughs myself, but this cant really be enjoyed by others, enough to still the fickle hand of MTV executives. To provide basis for my theory, I asked my contemporaries if I was crazy, or if this was really unwatchable despite the obvious ratings it receives. Naturally, my peers overwhelmingly agreed. This was crap. As I was pondering who was watching if young people werent, Jerry told me that his young teenage sister 'loved' it. Then it hit me.
I wasnt 'young people'. I was 'working people'. Too busy to sit around watching TV (or so they thought), I was out working to make money for the stuff they advertised to kids, and eventually, my children. Now, I knew this, but it hadnt really hit me. Until recently, companies marketing to youth would begin by making something cool to college-aged kids, who tend to be broke. The money is actually made when high schoolers (living at home and having copious amounts of disposable income) would see what the cool college kids were watching/wearing/doing, and then Mommy and Daddys cash would really start to flow. Apparently, some MTV bigwig did a little research and skipped the first step. Instead of waiting for a fad to come around to twentysomethings, they present a product which only SEEMS like the grads would like it. And the true genius of this concept? Not only do they not have to wait for some collegian to 'discover' it, but when they contest the actual coolness of 'The Andy Milonakis Show' to their little brother, the little brother gleefully ascertains that their older sibling 'just must not GET it'. And nothing is cooler than being at the very cusp of cool, and not the dottering old 24 year old whos lost touch. I GET it, okay, it just sucks.
Right?
Or have I turned into my parents? Where Id previously imagined them painstakingly trying to understand the innate complexities of 'The State' and 'The Kids in the Hall', they may have just understood it, and genuinely thought they werent funny. Either Im out of touch, or a door has been opened. A door to enlightenment and understanding that we are all promised comes with age. A door to wisdom disguised as an inability to connect with whats 'cool'. Is 'Andy Milonakis' the first sign of my generation becoming old and out of touch? If the herald of the end of our youth is that gooey clown, is becoming old and out of touch really the sentence it seemed for so long?