EDIT ON MY LAST JOURNAL
EDIT: So, this whole Sam thing. I am going to REsay what i said, but add to it...here it goes....
I miss Samuel. He is my best guy friend. He can always make me laugh and feel better. I hate that he lives in Mexico. Why did he have to leave? Whenever he calls me I am a total jerk. I think I want to be mad at him. No, actually I am mad at him. I think I am mad because he is gone when I need him the most, and he isn't coming back. He has his new girlfriend and is so busy with her that he forgets to call and write me.I understand that he needs his time with his girlfriend, and that's fine. I am just scared to REALLY lose him. I also think I am taking my anger on all my friends either leaving me, or being mad at me for some reason, out on him. It isn't his fault that I can't seem to keep my best friends. I am so frustrated and scared. I am frustrated that I can't have a friend that will stay with me no matter what (except Ayumi), and i am scared that if I get close to anyone they will end up hurting me. That has happened so many times it is almost like a routine. So, I am sorry for being a jerk to Samuel, he doesn't deserve it. Although, I am glad that he doesn't get mad at me back and not talk to me. He still calls at least once a month.
I think the whole of it all is, I miss him. And for that I am mad.
I'm sorry.
HELP!
I miss Samuel. He is my best guy friend. He can always make me laugh and feel better. I hate that he lives in Mexico. Why did he have to leave? Whenever he calls me I am a total jerk. I think I want to be mad at him. No, actually I am mad at him. I think I am mad because he is gone when I need him the most, and he isn't coming back. He has his new girlfriend and is so busy with her that he forgets to call and write me.I understand that he needs his time with his girlfriend, and that's fine. I am just scared to REALLY lose him. I also think I am taking my anger on all my friends either leaving me, or being mad at me for some reason, out on him. It isn't his fault that I can't seem to keep my best friends. I am so frustrated and scared. I am frustrated that I can't have a friend that will stay with me no matter what (except Ayumi), and i am scared that if I get close to anyone they will end up hurting me. That has happened so many times it is almost like a routine. So, I am sorry for being a jerk to Samuel, he doesn't deserve it. Although, I am glad that he doesn't get mad at me back and not talk to me. He still calls at least once a month.
I think the whole of it all is, I miss him. And for that I am mad.
I'm sorry.
HELP!