back to normal?
things seems to change everyday..
thursday=went clubbin' with my girls. Pretty fun .. drank a bit danced a bit.. had a good time.
friday=met with some of my new friends aka christine's friends from the heights and the br0nx. the peeps i chilled with last weekend.. they ended up staying in my room all night. we got high tho in the 7 gates of hell... by the trail of our school. we broke night. was fun as all hell. .. but nothin much to talk about too many lil things happened.
saturday= went to jessikas( my best friend from home) house.
sunday=was my little sister's birthday. bought her grand theft auto double packet. with grand theft auto three and vice city.. ;x she just got a ps2 for her birthday..
on another note.. mauricio came over yesterday too.. that's what i was trying to get at that's why no more details about my previous fun filled days. those are unimportant as to what i have to say about him.
He's been calling me nonstop since tuesday when he came over. Everyday i would just act as though he was one of my friend's from home and didn't think of him otherwise.. unless someone brought him up.. but yeahs.. he called me so many times. it felt like he called me more after we broke up than when we were together. he called me yesterday asking if he could come over. . i didn't think he would but he called me and told me he would be there. i was at jessika's since i spent the night but i quickly got up and went home in my pjs and all. ( i only live two blocks from her) I got ready ... looked decent and all, and decided to go to bayplaza mall to get my lil sister emily her video games, pay my cell phone bill, and buy some toiletries. I ended up meeting mauricio there like around 4. He looked so stunning. I had picked out an outfit for him a few weeks back which he payed a shitload of money for. It was a phat farm sweat suit outfit w/ hoody. beige, brown, and ivory. he had a matching yankee fitted, brown timbs, and a brown beige and ivory shirt on top of a white tee. agh. he looked cute. he had just got his hair cut and goatee shaped. argh.
I just stared at him when i saw him.... i can't understand why i couldn't just act normal ...i bought everything i had to buy. He kept trying to play around with me like he plays with his friends. Sometimes i would play back but it felt funny. We went to my house.. and i guess that's where everything seemed so familiar to him. We sat in the living room. When i took my jacket off, i heard him say damn while he was looking at me. I didn't ask him about it since i knew he wouldn't tell me the truth anyhows. i knew he wouldn't be close with me and that was the hardest .. so i asked him if he was hungry, even though i knew he was. i served him some popeyes chicken, mashed potatoes, a bready, and crousant.. with juice. We ate while watching finding nemo. That seemed ok. He talked to my mom and sisters and dad.. everyone treated him the same. Than i served him cookies, and milk... than after the movie, i gave him cake and icecream from my sister's party. I just couldn't stop looking at him.. i wanted to tell him that i couldn't be his friend .. that's it's nothin like i thought it might be. I just couldn't do that. I'm still attracted to him, i still had feelings, i just couldn't act like we are nothing but friends. We than played some video games he brought.. i was trying to act cute since i totally suck at those games. After awhile, i was just hangin' and it was around 9:30 pm... he was asking me why i was lookin at him all wierd the whole day. I didn't say anything for awhile. I didn't want to tell him anything.. he kept buggin' me about it. so all i said was " you know why" .. he said "no i don't" . .. i told him " if you tell my why you said damn earlier than i will tell you why i was looking at you that way". He was like fine. so he told me that he said damn because i smelled soooo good and because i looked good. I was like aww. but i just stayed silent. i figured it didn't matter. I felt lead on. Than i told him the reason why i looked at him.. was because my heart still raced when he's with me and cuz i loved him .. he was like that's sweet. I just sat there.. and he got really close to me. He was like that he couldn't take it anymore.. Than he kissed me. Really long and hard. I just sat there and i couldn't believe it. I was like what the fuck? i was smiling .. but than i cried.. and he just held me. i was like whats wrong with you? what are you doin? he was like i love you and i can't take it.. i was just trying to be stubborn.. i was shocked but i couldn't do anything but kiss him back. he kept kissing me over and over.. this is in fact what i wanted. but i wasn't expecting him to come back to me so soon.. am i wrong in letting him have his way so easily all the time? i don't know.. he apologized over and over again.. and he seems true in all he says now. people go through their moments. whether it be a mom and daughter. a husband and wife.. blah bleh. blah. i don't know i just didn't care about anything i've gone through in the last two weeks. i'm just happy that he's mines again.
i asked him are you sure? are you really sure? cuz i'm scared. i don't want to be hurt again. he said yes that he wants me ..and he sure. he won't hurt me like that again. i'm not taking his word for it. but i just want to hope for the best. Should i had made him suffer? it's hard to hide your feelings when the one you love is pouring his heart right back to you. I was pretty happy last night. With that said and done, he went home and i went back to my school/home. lol.
ight one love my peoples.
thursday=went clubbin' with my girls. Pretty fun .. drank a bit danced a bit.. had a good time.
friday=met with some of my new friends aka christine's friends from the heights and the br0nx. the peeps i chilled with last weekend.. they ended up staying in my room all night. we got high tho in the 7 gates of hell... by the trail of our school. we broke night. was fun as all hell. .. but nothin much to talk about too many lil things happened.
saturday= went to jessikas( my best friend from home) house.
sunday=was my little sister's birthday. bought her grand theft auto double packet. with grand theft auto three and vice city.. ;x she just got a ps2 for her birthday..
on another note.. mauricio came over yesterday too.. that's what i was trying to get at that's why no more details about my previous fun filled days. those are unimportant as to what i have to say about him.
He's been calling me nonstop since tuesday when he came over. Everyday i would just act as though he was one of my friend's from home and didn't think of him otherwise.. unless someone brought him up.. but yeahs.. he called me so many times. it felt like he called me more after we broke up than when we were together. he called me yesterday asking if he could come over. . i didn't think he would but he called me and told me he would be there. i was at jessika's since i spent the night but i quickly got up and went home in my pjs and all. ( i only live two blocks from her) I got ready ... looked decent and all, and decided to go to bayplaza mall to get my lil sister emily her video games, pay my cell phone bill, and buy some toiletries. I ended up meeting mauricio there like around 4. He looked so stunning. I had picked out an outfit for him a few weeks back which he payed a shitload of money for. It was a phat farm sweat suit outfit w/ hoody. beige, brown, and ivory. he had a matching yankee fitted, brown timbs, and a brown beige and ivory shirt on top of a white tee. agh. he looked cute. he had just got his hair cut and goatee shaped. argh.
I just stared at him when i saw him.... i can't understand why i couldn't just act normal ...i bought everything i had to buy. He kept trying to play around with me like he plays with his friends. Sometimes i would play back but it felt funny. We went to my house.. and i guess that's where everything seemed so familiar to him. We sat in the living room. When i took my jacket off, i heard him say damn while he was looking at me. I didn't ask him about it since i knew he wouldn't tell me the truth anyhows. i knew he wouldn't be close with me and that was the hardest .. so i asked him if he was hungry, even though i knew he was. i served him some popeyes chicken, mashed potatoes, a bready, and crousant.. with juice. We ate while watching finding nemo. That seemed ok. He talked to my mom and sisters and dad.. everyone treated him the same. Than i served him cookies, and milk... than after the movie, i gave him cake and icecream from my sister's party. I just couldn't stop looking at him.. i wanted to tell him that i couldn't be his friend .. that's it's nothin like i thought it might be. I just couldn't do that. I'm still attracted to him, i still had feelings, i just couldn't act like we are nothing but friends. We than played some video games he brought.. i was trying to act cute since i totally suck at those games. After awhile, i was just hangin' and it was around 9:30 pm... he was asking me why i was lookin at him all wierd the whole day. I didn't say anything for awhile. I didn't want to tell him anything.. he kept buggin' me about it. so all i said was " you know why" .. he said "no i don't" . .. i told him " if you tell my why you said damn earlier than i will tell you why i was looking at you that way". He was like fine. so he told me that he said damn because i smelled soooo good and because i looked good. I was like aww. but i just stayed silent. i figured it didn't matter. I felt lead on. Than i told him the reason why i looked at him.. was because my heart still raced when he's with me and cuz i loved him .. he was like that's sweet. I just sat there.. and he got really close to me. He was like that he couldn't take it anymore.. Than he kissed me. Really long and hard. I just sat there and i couldn't believe it. I was like what the fuck? i was smiling .. but than i cried.. and he just held me. i was like whats wrong with you? what are you doin? he was like i love you and i can't take it.. i was just trying to be stubborn.. i was shocked but i couldn't do anything but kiss him back. he kept kissing me over and over.. this is in fact what i wanted. but i wasn't expecting him to come back to me so soon.. am i wrong in letting him have his way so easily all the time? i don't know.. he apologized over and over again.. and he seems true in all he says now. people go through their moments. whether it be a mom and daughter. a husband and wife.. blah bleh. blah. i don't know i just didn't care about anything i've gone through in the last two weeks. i'm just happy that he's mines again.
i asked him are you sure? are you really sure? cuz i'm scared. i don't want to be hurt again. he said yes that he wants me ..and he sure. he won't hurt me like that again. i'm not taking his word for it. but i just want to hope for the best. Should i had made him suffer? it's hard to hide your feelings when the one you love is pouring his heart right back to you. I was pretty happy last night. With that said and done, he went home and i went back to my school/home. lol.
ight one love my peoples.