couple diff topics...

[babes69]

3:30 n tha morning n i cant sleep...babe came ova afta skool 2 day n it made me happy cuz we havent hugn out snce monday, so we did alotta cuddleing n juss had fun. he left early but that was cuz my brother took him 2 get my b-day present!!!! but it wasnt ready 2 b piked ^ yet. that gets me xcited cuz its frum east grenich n had 2 b ordered outta a place n he sed it was spencive..so now im kinda thinkin its sum sorts jewlery..i hope so!!! lol, but im happy he took tha time 2 think about me 4 a sec. tha onli thing that killed my overjoy bout that was when he said "i dont regret getting that 4 you but i kind of wish i didnt have too"....thanx now i feel special cuz u didn really wanna get it 4 me cuz ooh yeah! he needs more weed! ya knoe i only gave him 30$ on minday but he needs more. n summthin that made me mad/really sad bout him was whan i gave him ALL my money i made him promise 2 take me out b4 my birthday (so i gave him like 3 weeks) but cuz he bought a 2 bag YESTERDAY now hes not gunna take me out! n when i gave him all my $ i told him i was mad cuz i didn wanna give it 2 him n i knoe im gunna get screwed. n i kno he breaks every promis he ever makes 2 me. n i told him i was wearing a skirt on my birthday n hes like "yuk! i dont think you should wear a skirt, i think you should wear pants" but oh well im gunna b a princess so im going 2 wear my newwest skirt! and im zcited but ere time i try on a skirt getting reay 4 skool he gives me dirrty looks n tells me not 2 wear that n put on pants n i dont look good n it cuz im not skinney, i have no ass, and im not asian! wtf!? been thinkin alotta baaaaaaaaaaad stuff bout us lately, n hes makin it alot easier when he ignores me now cuz im pissed at him n dun wanna c him ne ways! n he told me 2 day hes not goin w/me n my rents 4 dinner on my b-day either... i dont wanna b alone w/them..specially when im gunna b wanting him tha hole time! but i dunno...hope he gut me summthin good cuz he owes me so much thats really getting 2 me!i feel so taken adantage of! when he comes over after skool 4 like an hour its juss 4 sex n when we done n he throws his clothes on n says hes gudda go n a few n then goes onn tha puter i feel like such a retard! like i was just used! so now i been pushing him away like crazy! i haven been tring 2 hold his hand,i been jumping ^ 2 put all my clothes on, i dont call him cuz when eva i do he always wants summthin n thats tha ONLY time he calls me, so sometimes when i c his # on tha caler id i dont answer it. like im really scared that im this mad at him, im not scared bout him cheating on me or dumping me cuz i dont think hed do either 2 me n im not giving him ne more $, n we;ll hafta c wut happens. i miss him alot when im not w/him but ere time i talk 2 him he hasta say summthin 2 ruin erething!!! like tha present thing, i felt sooo loved cuz he piked it out n he says it cost alot.. but then he has 2 completely kill it by saying that he dont wanna get it 4 me but he has too.. that didn stop him on valentines day.... n he decided 2day that we not gunna celebrate our 1 yr anniversarry. cuz tha 1st couple of months i gut him lil things, n he sed that he thought that was stupid n that tha 1yr is a big 1 n we can xchange presents then n b all romantic.. but now we might not even b 2gether...so i dunno wut im gunna do if i dont like my b-day present! lol thats kinda his last chance 2 proove 2 me that im not juss being used or that he "loves" me. so i guess we'll see! my birthday is may 10 so technically 3 days! n oh yeah i gut my period bacc again n its alot thicker this time. i've had it 4 24 days but it skipped a total of 3 days n now its back when i thought it was all gone, n now i have really bad cramps, n thats also y icant sleep! wish babe was here 2 rub my tummy to sleep! so i dunno wut im gunna do... im prolly juss gunna look at icons till like 5am, mabe ill sleep till 12. i like sleeping late but i cant do that unless i go 2 bed at like 4. lol so yeah im gunna do that

~love always Shayna!~