Let it Bleed
There's a joke I've heard. A hot girl tells a math major, a physics major, and an engineering major that if they can cross the ten feet to her, she will sleep with them. "Woah!" say the science majors. But then the math major says, "Wait. Every time I get half the distance to her, there will be half a distance still to go. I can never reach her," and he gives up and walks off. The physics major says, "Hmm. I don't know if I want to give up so easy. I'm going to try that out." So he walks halfway to the girl, then to three-quarters, then to seven-eights, then to fifteen-sixteenths, and so on, and finally he says, "Nope, now I see he was right," and gives up and walks off. The engineering major goes, "Hmm." He does the same thing as the physics major and gets up to fifteen-sixteenths, and stops. "Yeah, the math major was right," he says. Then he says, "Eh, close enough," and reaches out and takes the girl by the hand.
(ba-dum-ch)
See, the problem with the math major, is, imagine you're the math major, and imagine there's ten feet in front of you. Psshh, easy, you cross ten feet all the time. But you imagine crossing half, and, wait, now you imagine the quarter. Now you've imagined ten feet plus five feet plus two and half feet. Keep imagining! You can imagine the next division of one and a quarter, and five eighths, and so on! You can imagine an infinite of distance!
(drumroll)
And THAT is procrastination.
Well, actually, this LJ entry is procrastination.
It's hard to make your eyes equally as big as your stomach because you can't see your stomach from your vantage point.
Nobody could subsist on their favorite food, because there is no perfect food.
The only way to think if someone is watching you is if you look at their eyes to see if they're watching you at the same moment they look at your eyes to see if you're watching them.
People think they couldn't spend all their time at the beach (though a visit would be nice) until they get to the beach, and then when they leave the beach they wonder how they spent so much time there (though they look forward to the next visit).
"World peace" is like a "square circle."
World peace involves everyone in the world not fighting each other.
For everyone in the world to not fight each other, they'd all have to agree at least to tolerate each other.
For everyone to agree to tolerate each other, unforgiving viewpoints would have to be extinguished or suppressed.
For unforgiving viewpoints to be extinguished or suppressed is fascism.
Fascism is not world peace.
In a bad play, nothing changes, so we have no reason to distinguish the beginning from the end, so there is no reason to have BOTH a beginning and an end. Just save us the time.
Nobody questions ice cream.
Was it Freud who said everything's sex and death?
If that's the case, aren't masturbation and suicide equivalents?
Yay morbid endings!
(ba-dum-ch)
See, the problem with the math major, is, imagine you're the math major, and imagine there's ten feet in front of you. Psshh, easy, you cross ten feet all the time. But you imagine crossing half, and, wait, now you imagine the quarter. Now you've imagined ten feet plus five feet plus two and half feet. Keep imagining! You can imagine the next division of one and a quarter, and five eighths, and so on! You can imagine an infinite of distance!
(drumroll)
And THAT is procrastination.
Well, actually, this LJ entry is procrastination.
It's hard to make your eyes equally as big as your stomach because you can't see your stomach from your vantage point.
Nobody could subsist on their favorite food, because there is no perfect food.
The only way to think if someone is watching you is if you look at their eyes to see if they're watching you at the same moment they look at your eyes to see if you're watching them.
People think they couldn't spend all their time at the beach (though a visit would be nice) until they get to the beach, and then when they leave the beach they wonder how they spent so much time there (though they look forward to the next visit).
"World peace" is like a "square circle."
World peace involves everyone in the world not fighting each other.
For everyone in the world to not fight each other, they'd all have to agree at least to tolerate each other.
For everyone to agree to tolerate each other, unforgiving viewpoints would have to be extinguished or suppressed.
For unforgiving viewpoints to be extinguished or suppressed is fascism.
Fascism is not world peace.
In a bad play, nothing changes, so we have no reason to distinguish the beginning from the end, so there is no reason to have BOTH a beginning and an end. Just save us the time.
Nobody questions ice cream.
Was it Freud who said everything's sex and death?
If that's the case, aren't masturbation and suicide equivalents?
Yay morbid endings!