Amnesiac
I was told to update.
You can't look at the quality of the soil under your feet. Cause you're standing on it.
RANDOMLY COMPOSED EXTREMELY SHORT PLAY #1
"Jaime and Marie"
(A bed. A trashcan. A little table and chairs with a mass of rubberbands or paperclips or other fastening tools on it, as long as the whole mass is only one kind of fastening tool.
After the audience sits down, the lights go down. After a moment in the dark, there is a crash offstage.)
VOICE OFFSTAGE (not loud enough to be understood by the audience)
Jesus, I told you-
OTHER VOICE OFFSTAGE (same)
Hey, watch, here-
(A thud. A brief pause. Then a massive crash.)
VOICE OFFSTAGE
OUCH.
VOICES OFFSTAGE
SHhhh!
OTHER VOICE OFFSTAGE
Shit!
VOICE OFFSTAGE
No, but-
VOICES OFFSTAGE
Shutup!
(The lights come up tentatively. There is a pause. Then the house lights come up. The "Voice Offstage" comes onstage.)
THIRD VOICE OFFSTAGE (inaudibly)
What are you doing? Hey! HEY! Jesus.
VOICE ONSTAGE
Hi, um. You obviously heard... We're just going to, instead of taking the intermission during the break, we're going to take it now. So, ten minutes, then-
THIRD VOICE OFFSTAGE
No.
VOICE ONSTAGE
we'll come- no?
THIRD VOICE OFFSTAGE
No.
VOICE ONSTAGE
I thought- What?
THIRD VOICE OFFSTAGE
You can't do it like that. Get back here!
VOICE ONSTAGE
But- We'll just take it now-
OTHER VOICE OFFSTAGE
SHIT, MY FINGER FELL OFF!
FOURTH VOICE OFFSTAGE
That's part of the hot dog.
OTHER VOICE OFFSTAGE (finding their finger on their hand)
Oh, Jesus.
THIRD VOICE OFFSTAGE
You know what, why don't you just start the play?
VOICE ONSTAGE
But-
THIRD VOICE OFFSTAGE
You're the understudy. Go study. You already ruined the thing.
(to the audience, peering out, indicating Voice Onstage)
Um. Now you've met the intern.
(The Voice Onstage goes and vomits in the trashcan. The lights go out. Someone drags Voice Onstage off. The end.)
You can't look at the quality of the soil under your feet. Cause you're standing on it.
RANDOMLY COMPOSED EXTREMELY SHORT PLAY #1
"Jaime and Marie"
(A bed. A trashcan. A little table and chairs with a mass of rubberbands or paperclips or other fastening tools on it, as long as the whole mass is only one kind of fastening tool.
After the audience sits down, the lights go down. After a moment in the dark, there is a crash offstage.)
VOICE OFFSTAGE (not loud enough to be understood by the audience)
Jesus, I told you-
OTHER VOICE OFFSTAGE (same)
Hey, watch, here-
(A thud. A brief pause. Then a massive crash.)
VOICE OFFSTAGE
OUCH.
VOICES OFFSTAGE
SHhhh!
OTHER VOICE OFFSTAGE
Shit!
VOICE OFFSTAGE
No, but-
VOICES OFFSTAGE
Shutup!
(The lights come up tentatively. There is a pause. Then the house lights come up. The "Voice Offstage" comes onstage.)
THIRD VOICE OFFSTAGE (inaudibly)
What are you doing? Hey! HEY! Jesus.
VOICE ONSTAGE
Hi, um. You obviously heard... We're just going to, instead of taking the intermission during the break, we're going to take it now. So, ten minutes, then-
THIRD VOICE OFFSTAGE
No.
VOICE ONSTAGE
we'll come- no?
THIRD VOICE OFFSTAGE
No.
VOICE ONSTAGE
I thought- What?
THIRD VOICE OFFSTAGE
You can't do it like that. Get back here!
VOICE ONSTAGE
But- We'll just take it now-
OTHER VOICE OFFSTAGE
SHIT, MY FINGER FELL OFF!
FOURTH VOICE OFFSTAGE
That's part of the hot dog.
OTHER VOICE OFFSTAGE (finding their finger on their hand)
Oh, Jesus.
THIRD VOICE OFFSTAGE
You know what, why don't you just start the play?
VOICE ONSTAGE
But-
THIRD VOICE OFFSTAGE
You're the understudy. Go study. You already ruined the thing.
(to the audience, peering out, indicating Voice Onstage)
Um. Now you've met the intern.
(The Voice Onstage goes and vomits in the trashcan. The lights go out. Someone drags Voice Onstage off. The end.)