Yea so time for an update....
So as most people know.....TJ broke up with me on the night of Jan 22. It was really hard for me seeing as I still dont understand why we broke up. His excuse was that I caused too many arguments.......but if you consider a difference of opinion an argument then whatever. But yea.....I got a little irritated with him seeing as he hadnt called me in almost two days even though he said he would. We were in a long distance relationship so the only way to make things work is by talking and our main connection was the phone and he didnt want to use it. I guess us breaking up was for the better also.......we had totally different plans for the future and it wouldnt of worked out. It sux to think that way but in reality you kind of have to.
I now noticed that when I even consider dating anyone I always ask myself "Do I see myself being with him forever and getting married to him and having children with him". I know that sounds rediculous but its hard to not think that way when most of your friends around you are engaged or married already.......not to mention I am almost done with school.....and I really do want to settle down and get married while I am young. I dunno.......I'm just wierd I guess.
I made a plan for myself to stay single for a little while seeing as I always rush into relationships one after the other. Its gonna be hard.......after all I was with Dan for a year and a half before we broke up......so its difficult to go from being with someone everyday for that long to going to absolutely nothing. Another thing that makes it difficult to stay single is the fact that as soon as a girl is available but doesnt want anything.......all the guys come flocking.
I have been hanging out with my neighbor Jeremy alot lately and I know he likes me because he has already told me, but he respects my decision to be single and he isnt trying anything. I dunno.....I do like him dont get me wrong....but I know in my heart that I need to be on my own for awhile. Its not fair to any guy for me to be with them right now......I'm not ready for that yet. But Jeremy is a really nice guy and we are really starting to build a great friendship. He is one of those guys that you can just hang with....and not worry about a thing. For instance....tonight me, Jeremy, and Chris all went to Bran's for dinner and they paid for me.....just to be nice. Then Jeremy came to my house and we just talked and watched a movie. It was really nice and I love the fact that I have guys around me that I can just sit and chill with.
I do get lonely sometimes though.....and those are the times that I wish I had someone here with me to cuddle with and just to have someone to hold......but then I realize that I dont need a guy to make me whole.....I just need myself and my closest friends and family. Whenever I am feeling down I know that all I have to do is pick up my phone and call Kristin or my Mom and they will get me through my tough times. I am learning how to be independent and I know it may sound like I am anti-guy....but right now I am just anti-boyfriend.......because this is my time for me!!!
I now noticed that when I even consider dating anyone I always ask myself "Do I see myself being with him forever and getting married to him and having children with him". I know that sounds rediculous but its hard to not think that way when most of your friends around you are engaged or married already.......not to mention I am almost done with school.....and I really do want to settle down and get married while I am young. I dunno.......I'm just wierd I guess.
I made a plan for myself to stay single for a little while seeing as I always rush into relationships one after the other. Its gonna be hard.......after all I was with Dan for a year and a half before we broke up......so its difficult to go from being with someone everyday for that long to going to absolutely nothing. Another thing that makes it difficult to stay single is the fact that as soon as a girl is available but doesnt want anything.......all the guys come flocking.
I have been hanging out with my neighbor Jeremy alot lately and I know he likes me because he has already told me, but he respects my decision to be single and he isnt trying anything. I dunno.....I do like him dont get me wrong....but I know in my heart that I need to be on my own for awhile. Its not fair to any guy for me to be with them right now......I'm not ready for that yet. But Jeremy is a really nice guy and we are really starting to build a great friendship. He is one of those guys that you can just hang with....and not worry about a thing. For instance....tonight me, Jeremy, and Chris all went to Bran's for dinner and they paid for me.....just to be nice. Then Jeremy came to my house and we just talked and watched a movie. It was really nice and I love the fact that I have guys around me that I can just sit and chill with.
I do get lonely sometimes though.....and those are the times that I wish I had someone here with me to cuddle with and just to have someone to hold......but then I realize that I dont need a guy to make me whole.....I just need myself and my closest friends and family. Whenever I am feeling down I know that all I have to do is pick up my phone and call Kristin or my Mom and they will get me through my tough times. I am learning how to be independent and I know it may sound like I am anti-guy....but right now I am just anti-boyfriend.......because this is my time for me!!!