Shitty
Wow I don’t even know where to start. I haven’t written in awhile. I went to Uconn this weekend and im not going to lie it was fun. It was actually awesome but if I could take it back I would. It wasent worth ruining my realashinship with my mom or dustin. I just wish that me and dustin would be better and all this fighting and hurting would just go away. I caused all this shit so shouldn’t I be able to fix it. I don’t get it. Life is never fair. I guess I diserved what is happing now cuz I caused it all. It’s all my fault. It was nice to see ryan again and chill with him but I think that things went to far for many reasons that im not going to get into but I think that what I did was wrong but I just needed to leave and get away from Manchester get away from all the arguing with my mom and dusitn and I don’t know just kinda just forget about everything and just go PARTY!!! I guess going out to Uconn was one of the worst ways to forget about everything but it happened anthere is nothing that I can do to take it backor even make things better. I guess time fixes everything. Last night I called my friend brett at 2:30 in the morning and he was to bizzy to watch a movie then talk to me even though I was crying and I needed to someone to talk to and he was the only one that I new would be up then. It got me so mad. Cuz when he needed to talk I listened and was there for him but when I really needed to talk he wasne there at all it really pissed me off and he acted like he didn’t care. Hes supposed to be one of my good friends and he just discareded my feelings like they were nothing. But so ya anyway… me and dustin finnaly talked I think that it was good cuz now we understand each others feelings more now. Instead of guessing what was going on in each others minds. But I don’t know enough of this seriouse shit. I cant wait for summer yay its going to be soo warm im so going to the beach. Theres going to be some seriouse partying!! Cant wait. I hope that I meet some new people this summer someone that is connected to dustin or any of my old friends, or friends now. Someone who I can just chill with but they arenet wrapped up in all this Manchester drama. I kinda wish that me and jenna were still friends. I miss her a lot actually. I might call her when I get home she is after she gets out of school she can come pick me up and we can chill for a lil. Her and her boyfriend have been going out for like almost two years now I think. But so ya.. Me and my mom in Putnum haven’t talked in mad long I might actually call her when I get home. I think when billy bobs surgery and everything is all over then im going to go out here or ill probley wait umtell summer and go out there for like 2 weeks just to get away and spend some time with her and billy bob maybe see my sis jess and my two brothers. Okay maybe not 2 weeks but like a week and a half. Omg this weekend I went sopping and I got two shirts from abbercrobie and fitch and a new purse from pac sun and this star thingy for my room and a Chinese change purse, its actually kinda cute. My mom said that as soon as I make up capt testing that shell take me shopping to get summer clothes. Cant wait. Well I don’t really feel like typing any more so im goin.
Peace out
Dustin no matter what hapins I just want u to know that I still love you. And even if we ended up not talking ill always love you. Well say that were going to keep talking but that’s what u said to missy and look at u guys now. So I guess the only thing that I can do is wait and see what happins. Im sorry that I hurt you so bad and put you through all this shit. U know what did u ever do to me nothing. U were always there for me even when I was being so mean to you. You didn’t disserve what I did to you and im sorry. I really am truly sorry. I have been haing trouble sleeping at night cuz its so hard for me not to tell you I love you or say goodnight before I go to bed. Or stick my toung out at you like a lizard lol im going to miss you and the things that we did. Im sorry that I messed shit up so bad. You still are going to the beach with me this summer. Just cuz shit is all messed up dosent mean were not going to go to the beach. I don’t know I gotta go but dusty I really do love you and I miss you. Im sorry that i put you through this.
Tay tay peace out