Freedom of speech
Freedom of Speech, where's mine?
First off, this isn't about the constitution, politics, ect...at all. This is about my problem. And there is no real reason why I'm posting this either. I just want to talk about it, well, type it actually.
If you've met me, then you probably know that I stutter, actually, if you didn't realize that I stutter, then you must be a few fries short of a happy meal.
It has been a major bitch to live with this too. I've had it since 3rd grade. Back then, it was mild, only a stutter here and there, but as I grew older, it got worse, and hit one of its worse parts in 6-7th grades.
I feel scared and nervous when I'm called on in class, that my stutter will be unbearable. In class, whenever we do group work, or the teacher calls out random names, my heart races. I don't like it.
Even outside of the classroom, its scary. Ordering food is a nightmare. My own job can be dreadful on some days, especially if I have to use the phone a lot.
"Why don't you take speech therapy lessons?" "I've heard that reading aloud infront of a mirror works wonders!" Screw that and screw your belief. Does. Not. Work. I went to speech therapy for 3 years, and tried every single fucking trick in the book. Guess what, none of them work. The End.
I can't remember what its like to not have a stutter. Some people have "The Gift of Gab", I must have the defective one.
Even to this day, I think it's gotten a whole lot worse. Now sometimes when I stutter, I feel my body lock up, I can't see, can't breathe. I become paralyzed for about a split second, and it is one of the most fearful things ever.
It may sound strange, but I envy people who can talk. I hate the fact that people can talk clearly without any problems, and I can't. I don't mean to say that I hate people, but I hate that I can't do that. Its not even a simple task like bending my leg over my head, or doing calculus in my head. Its fucking talking.
So, in the end, please don't tell me to slow down. Don't tell me to try out this or that. Don't bring up the subject. I don't like talking about it. Hell, I don't like talking at all! But since I find myself in a social place almost all of the time, I have to, but I like to be the most quiet of the group.
First off, this isn't about the constitution, politics, ect...at all. This is about my problem. And there is no real reason why I'm posting this either. I just want to talk about it, well, type it actually.
If you've met me, then you probably know that I stutter, actually, if you didn't realize that I stutter, then you must be a few fries short of a happy meal.
It has been a major bitch to live with this too. I've had it since 3rd grade. Back then, it was mild, only a stutter here and there, but as I grew older, it got worse, and hit one of its worse parts in 6-7th grades.
I feel scared and nervous when I'm called on in class, that my stutter will be unbearable. In class, whenever we do group work, or the teacher calls out random names, my heart races. I don't like it.
Even outside of the classroom, its scary. Ordering food is a nightmare. My own job can be dreadful on some days, especially if I have to use the phone a lot.
"Why don't you take speech therapy lessons?" "I've heard that reading aloud infront of a mirror works wonders!" Screw that and screw your belief. Does. Not. Work. I went to speech therapy for 3 years, and tried every single fucking trick in the book. Guess what, none of them work. The End.
I can't remember what its like to not have a stutter. Some people have "The Gift of Gab", I must have the defective one.
Even to this day, I think it's gotten a whole lot worse. Now sometimes when I stutter, I feel my body lock up, I can't see, can't breathe. I become paralyzed for about a split second, and it is one of the most fearful things ever.
It may sound strange, but I envy people who can talk. I hate the fact that people can talk clearly without any problems, and I can't. I don't mean to say that I hate people, but I hate that I can't do that. Its not even a simple task like bending my leg over my head, or doing calculus in my head. Its fucking talking.
So, in the end, please don't tell me to slow down. Don't tell me to try out this or that. Don't bring up the subject. I don't like talking about it. Hell, I don't like talking at all! But since I find myself in a social place almost all of the time, I have to, but I like to be the most quiet of the group.