Part CCCIX - HARRY POTTER AND THE LEOPARD WALK-UP-TO DRAGON

[babb_chronicles]

(link)Ginny works at the Wizarding TV Company called DTV (Dumbledore Television), in the wizarding world, a few years after the Battle at Hogwarts, people found, in Dumbledore's belongings, a sketch and working prototype of the first Wizarding TV. Of course a few years after that, a group of Wizards and Witches created more of the Wizarding TV's

Comments

[cheryl_bites]

w00t, you used the bootleg books! :D (And I have to insist that they ARE badfic. Terrible, terrible badfic.)

Now! On to the rest.

I doubt it would take Dumbledore to invent a magic TV. Loads of Muggleborn or half-blood witzies would have tried that over and over again; you'd think the problem would be getting purebloods interested in it, since it doesn't seem to be part of their culture.

are starting a show called 'Beauty Pageant, Miss British Witch' where fifty Witches enter and each week one of them get voted off

And if their reality TV programmes last a YEAR, I can see why they aren't interested.

Oh, god. I hate inane stream-of-consciousness fics with no capitalisation. Why are there so many of them?!

J and Pavarti are awesome but they really only talk about make up and boys.

This, after you've spent the rest of the entries complaining about boys and your hair. :P

Luna had six, Draco had five, Ron had five, even some of the teachers had a few each, but no, Hermione had the most… seven, seven… seven… seven… seven…

So they got right to it, when they were done, they swapped numbers,

It took me a while to figure out this meant PHONE numbers. And the title of this is "A Love Trianglely Type Thingymabob"?!

I was hoping we'd seen the end of the pro-life housewife Draco-loving Hermione fics, but alas, it seems there's always a new generation of bad adolescent writers.

I dident cum to kil you Voldimor explaned

Does his cum usually do that?

along with a young woman with platinum blonde hair. She looked at Dragon and said, "You Americans are all alike, very stubborn and vild."
Dragon stared at her and said, calmly, "Et vous Mon Cher êtes un oof ignorant d'un babouin, oui?"

Hurrah, bad foreign languages! \o/ Been a while since we've had those. So we've got Fleur pronouncing Ws as Vs, the Sue calling Fleur a man in formal register and the word "oof" (?).

"Que el babuino ignorante la piensa puede insultarme sin recieving un insulto también. Ella es el babuino dirigido más grosero y más caliente que he visto siempre."

I don't speak Spanish. *Hopefully* Any native Spankophones who can have a go at that lot?

*Goes and looks at the rest of the fic* So, the Sue calls Fleur "Frenchy" to her face, which seems unwise if she's also pretending to be fluent in French, and says, "That ignorant baboon thinks she can insult me without receiving an insult as well. She is the rudest and most hotheaded baboon I've ever seen. That's what I said to myself; along with I hope she rots in heaven." What a nasty little shit.

Along with her regular classes she also had roping, barrel racing and Quidditch as scores for her O.W.L's.

!!!!!

"Alright up and atom,

I love that eggcorn. <3 But why is it always Molly saying it?

Random bold, random Fleur-bashing... Why would Fleur be rude to Sirius? Hasn't anyone bothered to tell her that he didn't murder anyone?

God, I'm only about a quarter of the way through it. I must stop reading, NOW!!! *Hastily closes tab* Anyway... that was unquestionably the worst Sue we've had this week, and probably in the whole of the last year.

[harpsi_fizz]

Odd... I sort of want to read the whole thing and bitch about it with someone! Masochistic me.

[cheryl_bites]

You should spork it! I promise I'd read.

[harpsi_fizz]

Ahh, this old soul has long since left the sporking communities of Delerius (after the fans starting turning on each other). I'm not sure if I have it in me still, seeing as how this story is bad enough to spork itself.

But I shall give it some kind of a try. I will... I will. If you promise to stay by my side and provide some commentary, too.

[cheryl_bites]

Oh, are we doing a double spork? Great! I left Deleterius three years ago, I think (! - doesn't time fly?), but you could post it to your own journal. We could link there from badfic_quotes; I have posting access.

[harpsi_fizz]

Agreed! I shall do this in Mike Smith style, which is to say, reading, reviewing, and quoting. Won't be like the good ol' days like we're used to, but it should be fun.

What made you leave Deleterius?

[cheryl_bites]

Errrm. I don't precisely know who Mike Smith is, but he's got to be better than the first person I thought of, who was Mark E. Smith from The Fall. Your idea will be better. Shall I write mine separately and then we'll combine them?

It was after one of the many swastika fights; I think several people left during those.

[harpsi_fizz]

Another one? Oh, God.
I like the moderator of the community well enough, but it just seems sometimes like she's trying to mold the community into ass-kissing minions falling blindly into step with her beliefs. Like the anti-H/Hr link in the side bar. There were a lot of H/Hr fans that were sporking things. I left when it became not about sporking actual OFC sues but just about any non-canon pairing.

[cheryl_bites]

Woot, I've finished the spork! :D

[harpsi_fizz]

Hood /lawd/ the whole thing?! Well I will have a good amount of it up in... well... soon. Do you use Googledocs by any chance? It's good collab material.

(And if you do, my google name is Harpsiccord)

[cheryl_bites]

I'm afraid I've never used Google docs :( I'll PM you my email address and we'll confer.

[phantomcranefly]

Do you have access to the whole bootleg copy? How much of The Hobbit did they quote?

[cheryl_bites]

99% of the entire book was The Hobbit with the names changed. There was just a chapter at the start where Harry gets turned into a hobbit (like you do), and a chapter at the end where he says goodbye to "Gandolf" and flies back to Privet Drive. XP

I haven't got the books, but I made a post on them here, and you can read some more excerpts here.