Super Robots Vs. Boredom
What've I been up to...
Well, I beat my Super Robot Wars J. No cheating, just straight through tactical whoop-ass. Afterwards, I started again and made a little word pun in Japanese that makes me really proud.
I will attempt to explain it here. If you fall behind, it's because you're stupid and don't know any better, and wholly not due to my inability to explain it accurately.
Okay, so on the second playthrough I chose the female character just to do a playthrough as her before I inevitably go back to the dude for my third and fourth playthroughs. (This game gives you nice things for playing it over and over.) I named her "Helena Heavensdale" and gave her the nickname "Hell-girl." Then, with nothing better, I named the robot she'd be piloting the "Crescent Striker." Now, the themes I've got running through my head are Hell, Heaven, and the Moon when it comes time to name the attacks.
At first, I was just gonna dream up some neat attack names and put 'em in there in katakana.
After trying to think of some cool names and falling flat with it, I instead embarked on an adventure to name all my attacks for the robot in the forbidden script of "Kanji." No basics here, I went straight for the dictionary and got my readings on. Here's what I came up with:
(In the format of "Description of attack: 'name,' (Translation of name)")
Stupid missile swarming attack: "Ten no Ame," (Heaven's Rain)
Dual-wielding pistol attack: "Tsuki no Hikari" (Moonlight)
Big rifle attack: "Ee?! Jigoku no Hikari" (Huh?! Hell's Light)
Big beam rifle attack: "Bi! Jigoku no Hikari" (Beautiful! Hell's Light)
Big rifle's attack that makes a giant arrow of energy: "Shi: Jigoku no Hikari" (Death: Hell's Light)
The more astute reader may have noticed three attacks using the big rifle that all have "Hell's Light" in them. Well, the original names of those three attacks were something like "Olgon RifleN," "Olgon RifleB" and "Olgon RifleA." Something like that, I can't remember exactly.
Here's why I've taken the time to divulge my genius, though. If you read those last three attacks and pronounce them properly, they come out as "A," "B," and "C." It's a little dumb to be ranting over here in retrospect, but I'm really proud of it.
Took me a half-hour to find the stupid second kanji for "Hell" though.
On to today's "Why We Don't Bore Dave" column.
Last night, in a fit of boredom, I ended the universe.
I was playing my Super Robot Wars Alpha 3, and I got so fed up with the boring piece of crud main character I had that, when given the option of going into a hopeless battle where I knew the end result would be the destruction of a Deus Ex Machina under my control that would destroy the entirety of creation, or simply playing through three more stages to finish the game... well, I've already said which one I picked.
I felt sort of bad about it, too. Going into that fight with all my heroes ready to take down evil, and here I am, knowing full well that on this path, they cannot avert destruction. I shed a tear for them as it all ended, but that was quickly overridden by the ending screen, which is just a single baby, floating in space (David Bowman?) named "Meshia." Then it just said "END" and gave me the option of saving my data so I could start the next character's game.
Who names the star child "Messiah," anyway? Comon, people. What happened to subtlety?! This is just ridiculous.
So, he started out boring, continued to BE boring, BORED me to the point I ended the universe, then gave me a BS ending that made me feel good for wiping him from existence.
That's why I give Kuovley Gordon two big FU's. You suck, dude. I will do everything in my power to ridicule you whenever you come up. Die in anonymity, you piece if garbage. You made everyone in your universe suck by default, and I don't feel bad for collapsing it all on your pointy head.
Well, I beat my Super Robot Wars J. No cheating, just straight through tactical whoop-ass. Afterwards, I started again and made a little word pun in Japanese that makes me really proud.
I will attempt to explain it here. If you fall behind, it's because you're stupid and don't know any better, and wholly not due to my inability to explain it accurately.
Okay, so on the second playthrough I chose the female character just to do a playthrough as her before I inevitably go back to the dude for my third and fourth playthroughs. (This game gives you nice things for playing it over and over.) I named her "Helena Heavensdale" and gave her the nickname "Hell-girl." Then, with nothing better, I named the robot she'd be piloting the "Crescent Striker." Now, the themes I've got running through my head are Hell, Heaven, and the Moon when it comes time to name the attacks.
At first, I was just gonna dream up some neat attack names and put 'em in there in katakana.
After trying to think of some cool names and falling flat with it, I instead embarked on an adventure to name all my attacks for the robot in the forbidden script of "Kanji." No basics here, I went straight for the dictionary and got my readings on. Here's what I came up with:
(In the format of "Description of attack: 'name,' (Translation of name)")
Stupid missile swarming attack: "Ten no Ame," (Heaven's Rain)
Dual-wielding pistol attack: "Tsuki no Hikari" (Moonlight)
Big rifle attack: "Ee?! Jigoku no Hikari" (Huh?! Hell's Light)
Big beam rifle attack: "Bi! Jigoku no Hikari" (Beautiful! Hell's Light)
Big rifle's attack that makes a giant arrow of energy: "Shi: Jigoku no Hikari" (Death: Hell's Light)
The more astute reader may have noticed three attacks using the big rifle that all have "Hell's Light" in them. Well, the original names of those three attacks were something like "Olgon RifleN," "Olgon RifleB" and "Olgon RifleA." Something like that, I can't remember exactly.
Here's why I've taken the time to divulge my genius, though. If you read those last three attacks and pronounce them properly, they come out as "A," "B," and "C." It's a little dumb to be ranting over here in retrospect, but I'm really proud of it.
Took me a half-hour to find the stupid second kanji for "Hell" though.
On to today's "Why We Don't Bore Dave" column.
Last night, in a fit of boredom, I ended the universe.
I was playing my Super Robot Wars Alpha 3, and I got so fed up with the boring piece of crud main character I had that, when given the option of going into a hopeless battle where I knew the end result would be the destruction of a Deus Ex Machina under my control that would destroy the entirety of creation, or simply playing through three more stages to finish the game... well, I've already said which one I picked.
I felt sort of bad about it, too. Going into that fight with all my heroes ready to take down evil, and here I am, knowing full well that on this path, they cannot avert destruction. I shed a tear for them as it all ended, but that was quickly overridden by the ending screen, which is just a single baby, floating in space (David Bowman?) named "Meshia." Then it just said "END" and gave me the option of saving my data so I could start the next character's game.
Who names the star child "Messiah," anyway? Comon, people. What happened to subtlety?! This is just ridiculous.
So, he started out boring, continued to BE boring, BORED me to the point I ended the universe, then gave me a BS ending that made me feel good for wiping him from existence.
That's why I give Kuovley Gordon two big FU's. You suck, dude. I will do everything in my power to ridicule you whenever you come up. Die in anonymity, you piece if garbage. You made everyone in your universe suck by default, and I don't feel bad for collapsing it all on your pointy head.