Here's One You Can't Claim
Sort of uneventful weekend for me. Parents went out of town for the week, Stu came over for a night. We watched anime and The Hitchhiker's Guide until like, 5:30 AM, at which point I decided it was time for sleep.
Note that I used the term, "sort of," indicating that it was mostly like that. There are a couple things that come to mind that weren't so uneventful. These would be... well, events. I shall relate them now, whether you like it or not.
Firstly, Thursday night of last week. Now, I don't usually work Thursdays. I like to work a 4-day work week, since I make enough to live how I want to live on that much. I don't need the extra stress of this hellhole I call a workplace. However, my new boss begged me to work that Thursday because there was some party or something. I didn't want to do it, but the whole thing's a longer story than I want to relate 'cause it just makes me angry. So I was here, being bored as hell 'cause there was a party that half the guests in the hotel were attending, so half the half-empty hotel wasn't ordering room service due to their being at a party. (That sentence does make sense, you just might have to read it twice. (I know I did.)) The night was so long and boring that I was ready to get out of here on time, all the closing paperwork ready for me to just rubber stamp it and go. Then, 8 minutes before I'm supposed to leave, some b*#@% has to call for a well-done burger. I was ready to go put her to sleep like the annoying b%#$* she was. She orders a well-done burger and a grilled cheese. The burger's actually done really quickly, but the chef who was reading the tickets off forgot to tell the cook about the grilled cheese. So he's gotta make the grilled cheese, and the front desk comes back and tells my server to take a free glass of milk to some room on the 15th (out of 15) floor. My idiot server decides to take the milk up first, at which point I physically grabbed him and said "No. You stupid shit, that doesn't go up until AFTER I have the signed check from the paying customer." He argued that the grilled cheese sandwich would take 7 minutes, and he could be back by then.
Read that again.
Here, I'll put it right here for you. He argued that the grilled cheese sandwich would take 7 minutes.
For this, I called him stupid again and said he has to wait.
So the grilled cheese gets done, and he takes the table to go upstairs. I'm looking around and notice that the milk he had for the 15th floor is also gone. He took the milk WITH the order. To quote Ron White, "spinnin' me into a dimension of pissed off I have never been in in my life." So I'm angry, 'cause now I'm gonna be here 'til midnight, I ask the cook if he'll make me a burger (best burgers anywhere are served here in this hotel). He agrees, and cooks it up. The burger gets done right before my server gets back, I put some bacon, lettuce, and tomato on it, and wrap it up for the ride home. My anger dies off now, 'cause I have an awesome burger just waiting for me, and it'll still be hot 'cause it's all wrapped up. I close up, get out of here, go walking down the street in front of the building towards my garage...
...and I see a pirate.
This gangly white guy with a black beard has a red bandana pulled around his hair, cut up shorts, and a white t-shirt with the Jolly Roger printed on it. I got a baaaaaaaaaad feeling from him when he walked past, like he was on drugs and unstable or something, so I avoided him like a liberal Sociology Professor, went the long way around him, then closed the last 12 feet or so to the garage.
While I'm waiting for the idiot garage attendant to get off his cell phone and give me my key, I put my bag inside my car. (I tip really well, so the garage attendants bring my car up before I get out each night so that I don't have to wait.) My burger is placed on top of the bag in the passenger seat. I then stand in front of the attendant's booth, the pirate walks into the garage. I don't say anything, and he goes around my back to stand at my left and look in at the attendant. At this point I'm thinking, "No way does this pirate have a car." There have been instances where beggars and druggies will walk into the garage and harrass people, so I'm ready to take the legs out from under this pirate if he tries anything. I give him a once-over while he's talking to the attendant to see if there's anywhere he can hold a gun or other weapon I'd have a hard time dealing with (by "dealing with," I mean, of course, "running away from at speeds no one would believe my fat ass could reach"). He doesn't, so I make sure to keep him in my peripheral anyway in case he makes a move. By the time I'm done with this distraction, I notice the attendant is waving him off. The pirate then turns and asks a co-worker of mine some question, and gets the cold shoulder when the co-worker just shakes his head and continues talking on a cell phone.
Now I'm curious. What does a pirate ask people on the street at midnight? So I ask him, and he tells me. "I'm just wondering if you know anywhere I could get something to eat at this time of night." I ask him if he wants a burger, and he says, "Anything that could fill me up, I'm really hungry." I walk over to my car door and open it, and he goes back to asking the attendant something while I fish out my great burger, walk back over, and hold it out to him.
The pirate just sort of stares at it for a moment and asks if I'm serious. I tell him yeah, he takes the burger, and walks off almost holding it to his chest. I was down one burger, but felt pretty good about giving so generously.
So here's one I don't think anyone else I know could say honestly: "I gave a cheeseburger to a pirate."
The other event sort of deserves it's own Subject line, so I'll do that one separately.
Note that I used the term, "sort of," indicating that it was mostly like that. There are a couple things that come to mind that weren't so uneventful. These would be... well, events. I shall relate them now, whether you like it or not.
Firstly, Thursday night of last week. Now, I don't usually work Thursdays. I like to work a 4-day work week, since I make enough to live how I want to live on that much. I don't need the extra stress of this hellhole I call a workplace. However, my new boss begged me to work that Thursday because there was some party or something. I didn't want to do it, but the whole thing's a longer story than I want to relate 'cause it just makes me angry. So I was here, being bored as hell 'cause there was a party that half the guests in the hotel were attending, so half the half-empty hotel wasn't ordering room service due to their being at a party. (That sentence does make sense, you just might have to read it twice. (I know I did.)) The night was so long and boring that I was ready to get out of here on time, all the closing paperwork ready for me to just rubber stamp it and go. Then, 8 minutes before I'm supposed to leave, some b*#@% has to call for a well-done burger. I was ready to go put her to sleep like the annoying b%#$* she was. She orders a well-done burger and a grilled cheese. The burger's actually done really quickly, but the chef who was reading the tickets off forgot to tell the cook about the grilled cheese. So he's gotta make the grilled cheese, and the front desk comes back and tells my server to take a free glass of milk to some room on the 15th (out of 15) floor. My idiot server decides to take the milk up first, at which point I physically grabbed him and said "No. You stupid shit, that doesn't go up until AFTER I have the signed check from the paying customer." He argued that the grilled cheese sandwich would take 7 minutes, and he could be back by then.
Read that again.
Here, I'll put it right here for you. He argued that the grilled cheese sandwich would take 7 minutes.
For this, I called him stupid again and said he has to wait.
So the grilled cheese gets done, and he takes the table to go upstairs. I'm looking around and notice that the milk he had for the 15th floor is also gone. He took the milk WITH the order. To quote Ron White, "spinnin' me into a dimension of pissed off I have never been in in my life." So I'm angry, 'cause now I'm gonna be here 'til midnight, I ask the cook if he'll make me a burger (best burgers anywhere are served here in this hotel). He agrees, and cooks it up. The burger gets done right before my server gets back, I put some bacon, lettuce, and tomato on it, and wrap it up for the ride home. My anger dies off now, 'cause I have an awesome burger just waiting for me, and it'll still be hot 'cause it's all wrapped up. I close up, get out of here, go walking down the street in front of the building towards my garage...
...and I see a pirate.
This gangly white guy with a black beard has a red bandana pulled around his hair, cut up shorts, and a white t-shirt with the Jolly Roger printed on it. I got a baaaaaaaaaad feeling from him when he walked past, like he was on drugs and unstable or something, so I avoided him like a liberal Sociology Professor, went the long way around him, then closed the last 12 feet or so to the garage.
While I'm waiting for the idiot garage attendant to get off his cell phone and give me my key, I put my bag inside my car. (I tip really well, so the garage attendants bring my car up before I get out each night so that I don't have to wait.) My burger is placed on top of the bag in the passenger seat. I then stand in front of the attendant's booth, the pirate walks into the garage. I don't say anything, and he goes around my back to stand at my left and look in at the attendant. At this point I'm thinking, "No way does this pirate have a car." There have been instances where beggars and druggies will walk into the garage and harrass people, so I'm ready to take the legs out from under this pirate if he tries anything. I give him a once-over while he's talking to the attendant to see if there's anywhere he can hold a gun or other weapon I'd have a hard time dealing with (by "dealing with," I mean, of course, "running away from at speeds no one would believe my fat ass could reach"). He doesn't, so I make sure to keep him in my peripheral anyway in case he makes a move. By the time I'm done with this distraction, I notice the attendant is waving him off. The pirate then turns and asks a co-worker of mine some question, and gets the cold shoulder when the co-worker just shakes his head and continues talking on a cell phone.
Now I'm curious. What does a pirate ask people on the street at midnight? So I ask him, and he tells me. "I'm just wondering if you know anywhere I could get something to eat at this time of night." I ask him if he wants a burger, and he says, "Anything that could fill me up, I'm really hungry." I walk over to my car door and open it, and he goes back to asking the attendant something while I fish out my great burger, walk back over, and hold it out to him.
The pirate just sort of stares at it for a moment and asks if I'm serious. I tell him yeah, he takes the burger, and walks off almost holding it to his chest. I was down one burger, but felt pretty good about giving so generously.
So here's one I don't think anyone else I know could say honestly: "I gave a cheeseburger to a pirate."
The other event sort of deserves it's own Subject line, so I'll do that one separately.