OLD BEN.NEW LOOK, BUT SAME ATTUIDE
just got back from a night with some freinds. they drove me so i got to drink a little. then i come home and started to think about this time last year but rememeber that i have a entry that has some meaning to what i am doing. i still do feel like a robot. do as your told. i can hardly do anything with out some one telling what to do. that is how i feel. i try not to show emotion. yes i am back to this stage again. i do not know how i came back to this but i did. and i do not know what to feel.. i am hanging with my freinds more and some new freinds i made over the past months. i still have some feelings that are just in me. i just do not care any more. its just that, i am too busy to hang with my freinds i hang with them on the weekends just to me i still feel like something is missing. i am confused about things right now.
Snicker281 [12:39 A.M.]: so how are you feeling?
LaXdude423 [12:40 A.M.]: like shit
Snicker281 [12:40 A.M.]: aww why
LaXdude423 [12:40 A.M.]: i do not kno
LaXdude423 [12:40 A.M.]: i just feel like shit for the past week or so
LaXdude423 [12:41 A.M.]: i do not kno what i truly feel anymore
Snicker281 [12:41 A.M.]: ?
Snicker281 [12:41 A.M.]: with your family....future...me?
LaXdude423 [12:42 A.M.]: not really.i do not kno what to feel. i just feel like a robot do as your told.well sometimes
LaXdude423 [12:42 A.M.]: i do thing to make people happy
LaXdude423 [12:42 A.M.]: why am i tell you this
Snicker281 [12:43 A.M.]: because your right
Snicker281 [12:43 A.M.]: i hate telling you what to say because
its not you
LaXdude423 [12:43 A.M.]: its not oly you
Snicker281 [12:43 A.M.]: i cant tell you that you love me, i cant tell you that you miss me
Snicker281 [12:44 A.M.]: thats why im so nervous
LaXdude423 [12:45 A.M.]: why
Snicker281 [12:46 A.M.]: because im afraid that what you do is only you going through the motions, since you dont show your emtions i worry that i dont mean anything
LaXdude423 [12:46 A.M.]: o
Snicker281 [12:50 A.M.]: then how do you feel about me?
Snicker281 [12:52 A.M.]: i dont mean to jump down your throat
Snicker281 [12:52 A.M.]: im just asking
this can say alot to how i am feeling. i do not know why but i do not feel right inside. i am leting people inside my head agian.
i am 5'7
150 LBs.
drity blonde hair
mostly toned but still some body fat
white
i bench 180 lbs
i squat about 300
i clean about 150
i am an Asst scoutmaster for troop 36 down in Samford.
i am an Eagle scout class, of 2004
i am a Asst head lifeguard at the YMCA of Norwalk
i am a swim teacher at the YMCA of Norwalk
i am studying to become an EMT
i would like to be a volunter as a firefighter
i am a guy who is into everything. who want to know everything.
i am a fighter, lover, boyfreind, son, scout, freind, brother, father, rolemodel, teacher, rogue, merc, pirate, i fit all areas.
i feel alone and sad. this is not a enty to make you feel sorry for me. just an another enty i need to put in to try and show emothion.
THE FIRST DUTY OF LOVE IS TO LISTEN BY- PAUL TILLICH
Snicker281 [12:39 A.M.]: so how are you feeling?
LaXdude423 [12:40 A.M.]: like shit
Snicker281 [12:40 A.M.]: aww why
LaXdude423 [12:40 A.M.]: i do not kno
LaXdude423 [12:40 A.M.]: i just feel like shit for the past week or so
LaXdude423 [12:41 A.M.]: i do not kno what i truly feel anymore
Snicker281 [12:41 A.M.]: ?
Snicker281 [12:41 A.M.]: with your family....future...me?
LaXdude423 [12:42 A.M.]: not really.i do not kno what to feel. i just feel like a robot do as your told.well sometimes
LaXdude423 [12:42 A.M.]: i do thing to make people happy
LaXdude423 [12:42 A.M.]: why am i tell you this
Snicker281 [12:43 A.M.]: because your right
Snicker281 [12:43 A.M.]: i hate telling you what to say because
its not you
LaXdude423 [12:43 A.M.]: its not oly you
Snicker281 [12:43 A.M.]: i cant tell you that you love me, i cant tell you that you miss me
Snicker281 [12:44 A.M.]: thats why im so nervous
LaXdude423 [12:45 A.M.]: why
Snicker281 [12:46 A.M.]: because im afraid that what you do is only you going through the motions, since you dont show your emtions i worry that i dont mean anything
LaXdude423 [12:46 A.M.]: o
Snicker281 [12:50 A.M.]: then how do you feel about me?
Snicker281 [12:52 A.M.]: i dont mean to jump down your throat
Snicker281 [12:52 A.M.]: im just asking
this can say alot to how i am feeling. i do not know why but i do not feel right inside. i am leting people inside my head agian.
i am 5'7
150 LBs.
drity blonde hair
mostly toned but still some body fat
white
i bench 180 lbs
i squat about 300
i clean about 150
i am an Asst scoutmaster for troop 36 down in Samford.
i am an Eagle scout class, of 2004
i am a Asst head lifeguard at the YMCA of Norwalk
i am a swim teacher at the YMCA of Norwalk
i am studying to become an EMT
i would like to be a volunter as a firefighter
i am a guy who is into everything. who want to know everything.
i am a fighter, lover, boyfreind, son, scout, freind, brother, father, rolemodel, teacher, rogue, merc, pirate, i fit all areas.
i feel alone and sad. this is not a enty to make you feel sorry for me. just an another enty i need to put in to try and show emothion.
THE FIRST DUTY OF LOVE IS TO LISTEN BY- PAUL TILLICH