a serving of my fanfiction: kouyuu leads the way
so, to start everything off, here's my latest fan fiction (well, the one i recently finished). it's of Li Kouyuu and Ran Shuuei, with mentions of Kou Reishin, and what they do and not do and how they react to each other in turn. expect manly love.
the title is:
“Whatever You Do”
A Saiunkoku Monogatari fan fiction by the Butler
Contains: one Li Kouyuu and his musings, one Ran Shuuei and his charm, mentions of Reishin-sama and his confusing tough love. Also contains shonen-ai (is that the right term for manly love fluff?) but does not contain peanuts. This serves as a warning.
Disclaimer: this is a fan fiction of the anime Saiunkoku Monogatari (because I couldn’t very well read the novels the anime is based on, since “me no can read Japanese”), and all characters herein portrayed belong to their creative universe and author.
Also: this piece of fan fiction inspired by a song, “I Hate You Then I Love You” performed by Celine Dion and Andrea Bocelli, specifically the following lines:
No matter what you do you drive me crazy
I’d rather be alone
Bu then I know my life would be so empty
As soon as you have gone
Impossible to live with you
But I could never live without you
For whatever you do
I never never never want to be in love
with anyone but you
-----------------------------------------------------------
Another day, another invitation to, and he quotes, ‘savor the fine, fine carnal pleasures offered in the red light district’. Another day of teasing glances, false come-ons, and promises unfulfilled. Another day of being left alone for other, more worldly pursuits among the fairer sex.
And Shuuei wonders why Kouyuu was always so irritable.
-----------------------------------------------------------
The next time that annoying acquaintance of his opens his mouth to utter another invitation, why, he’d half the mind to… to… well. Kouyuu can’t really accept such an offer, now can he? It’s practically against everything the scholar’s been accusing the general up to now- immorality, degeneracy, wantonness, corruptness, not to mention doing it with women strangers, who have probably been doing it for quite some time now with most of the male population in the capital. It is most unhygienic. Reishin-sama would have his head if he ever dared to die from a prostitute’s disease. Well, if Reishin-sama would fit it in his schedule to check his adopted son’s health.
But Kouyuu’s sorely tempted to accept the invitation, either way. If only to see what the hell does Shuuei find so fulfilling in such pursuits, see what nirvana people attain in houses of sin, see what exactly it is women have that he’d never be able to offer, so he can stop being so unreasonably irritable…
… and start being irritable within reason.
After all, it is not in his nature to be unreasonable. Scorn unfounded is contemptible in itself. The day Kouyuu finds the courage to go against his better judgment (and he’s sure about his judgments) and takes up Shuuei on his offer would be the day Kouyuu would stop haranguing the young general about his nightly visits to the brothels, work or no work, because he’d be too busy observing everything. The day after that would be the day Kouyuu starts haranguing the young general about his nightly visits to the brothels with complete charts, health reports, and quotations from philosophical works regarding the state of man.
For now, Shuuei would have to contend himself with Kouyuu being irritated with him for no reason at all.
-----------------------------------------------------------
He’s never lost. Kouyuu is sure in himself that he is never lost. How can he be, when he is sure of himself? It is not in his nature to second-guess himself. He’s not lost, he’s somewhere between point A (where he came from) to point B (where he’s supposed to go). How is that lost?
It’s not his fault the damned buildings keep changing all the time.
And yet Shuuei keeps on insisting that he is lost, and should be escorted all the time, and it galls Kouyuu so, the nerve of Shuuei to say false things like that with a winning smile on his face. He’s not lost, just a bit confused as to what room this exactly is, because the last time he was here it was the Finance secretary’s office, and now they converted it to some dirty kitchen, they should post memos about remodeling rooms and changing offices like that, it’s irritating and hassling and now look what happened to him, he’s in a room that isn’t the room he thought it was. And that is not the same as lost. Not at all.
And it is not funny, and Shuuei should stop smiling like that and teasing Kouyuu and generally treating the scholar as if he was some amusing little boy, because he is not. He is a grown man who is on his way to the Finance department and is not lost.
The reason he lets Shuuei hold his hand and ‘guide’ him to the Finance department is definitely not because he’s lost.
But it is a reason Kouyuu would rather not elaborate upon.
----------------------------------------------------
Because, Kouyuu reasoned with himself, Shuuei becomes this annoying, overly self-possessed smug idiot whenever he flirts with anyone. That is the only reason why Kouyuu gets angry at Shuuei whenever the latter starts flirting, nothing else.
----------------------------------------------------
This is an office, and not just any office, but the office of the vice secretary of Civil Affairs. It is not a lounging area, damn it, so why does he let Shuuei just sit there and loiter?
Because you like me, was the cheeky reply, and for a moment Kouyuu’s heart stopped beating, as if something he has kept secret has been said out loud in such a carefree manner. Looking up from his work to look at the young general sitting right across the room, seeing Shuuei watching him with lazy eyes and a mischievous smile, Kouyuu’s heart starts beating again, and his grip loosens around the brush in his hand, because once again Shuuei had just only been teasing him, and not divining the workings of his heart.
And the words tumble out of his mouth after the momentary pause, as if he no longer had to think about them, those spluttering ‘what’s and indignant ‘I do not, you lying wretch’s.
----------------------------------------------------
Every after he looks away in indignant anger or stomp ahead in extreme annoyance, Kouyuu never sees Shuuei still staring at him (his profile or the back of his head), with a most peculiar look on his face. That short unguarded moment that Shuuei allows himself to indulge in, which Kouyuu never sees because he is too angry to even look at the Ran clansman without being set off on another rant.
It is not often that a true smile graces Ran Shuuei’s lips.
And maybe that is how it should be, for now. The general is himself unsure as to what would happen if for some reason Kouyuu looked back at him in one of those short, unguarded moments. He may even be a little afraid of what Kouyuu’s face would show if that moment ever happens, afraid that maybe it won’t be an irate expression but something mirroring his own.
Because then their precarious game of push and pull would end, and Shuuei would have to pursue Kouyuu until the other man says yes, yes he has always been Shuuei’s, and will always be. Because there is nothing left for Shuuei to do but that.
And then he would have to face Kou Reishin, on two levels. On the surface level he would have to live his life constantly aware of assassination attempts and enduring polite conversations with the capricious head of the Kou clan, and of the two he is more apprehensive of the latter than any danger to his life. On the second level he would have to face with Kou Reishin in Kouyuu’s heart, the man who is practically the sun of Kouyuu’s universe, and he would have to contend with being only the moon. And that is what he is most afraid of. Any struggle he would have to take to become the center of Kouyuu’s life would be rendered hard, and he almost wishes that Reishin-dono is as horrible as he makes himself seem to be, if only so that Shuuei’s lot would be easier. But only almost.
So for now this is how it should be, his short, unguarded moments hidden from Kouyuu. Shuuei smiles his smiles and looks at the back of Kouyuu’s head, teasing eyes tempered by some softening emotion the general never thought to associate with himself, and Kouyuu never looking back in anger.
---------------------------------------------------------
end?
and this has been posted in fanfiction as well. comments are very much appreciated!
the title is:
“Whatever You Do”
A Saiunkoku Monogatari fan fiction by the Butler
Contains: one Li Kouyuu and his musings, one Ran Shuuei and his charm, mentions of Reishin-sama and his confusing tough love. Also contains shonen-ai (is that the right term for manly love fluff?) but does not contain peanuts. This serves as a warning.
Disclaimer: this is a fan fiction of the anime Saiunkoku Monogatari (because I couldn’t very well read the novels the anime is based on, since “me no can read Japanese”), and all characters herein portrayed belong to their creative universe and author.
Also: this piece of fan fiction inspired by a song, “I Hate You Then I Love You” performed by Celine Dion and Andrea Bocelli, specifically the following lines:
No matter what you do you drive me crazy
I’d rather be alone
Bu then I know my life would be so empty
As soon as you have gone
Impossible to live with you
But I could never live without you
For whatever you do
I never never never want to be in love
with anyone but you
-----------------------------------------------------------
Another day, another invitation to, and he quotes, ‘savor the fine, fine carnal pleasures offered in the red light district’. Another day of teasing glances, false come-ons, and promises unfulfilled. Another day of being left alone for other, more worldly pursuits among the fairer sex.
And Shuuei wonders why Kouyuu was always so irritable.
-----------------------------------------------------------
The next time that annoying acquaintance of his opens his mouth to utter another invitation, why, he’d half the mind to… to… well. Kouyuu can’t really accept such an offer, now can he? It’s practically against everything the scholar’s been accusing the general up to now- immorality, degeneracy, wantonness, corruptness, not to mention doing it with women strangers, who have probably been doing it for quite some time now with most of the male population in the capital. It is most unhygienic. Reishin-sama would have his head if he ever dared to die from a prostitute’s disease. Well, if Reishin-sama would fit it in his schedule to check his adopted son’s health.
But Kouyuu’s sorely tempted to accept the invitation, either way. If only to see what the hell does Shuuei find so fulfilling in such pursuits, see what nirvana people attain in houses of sin, see what exactly it is women have that he’d never be able to offer, so he can stop being so unreasonably irritable…
… and start being irritable within reason.
After all, it is not in his nature to be unreasonable. Scorn unfounded is contemptible in itself. The day Kouyuu finds the courage to go against his better judgment (and he’s sure about his judgments) and takes up Shuuei on his offer would be the day Kouyuu would stop haranguing the young general about his nightly visits to the brothels, work or no work, because he’d be too busy observing everything. The day after that would be the day Kouyuu starts haranguing the young general about his nightly visits to the brothels with complete charts, health reports, and quotations from philosophical works regarding the state of man.
For now, Shuuei would have to contend himself with Kouyuu being irritated with him for no reason at all.
-----------------------------------------------------------
He’s never lost. Kouyuu is sure in himself that he is never lost. How can he be, when he is sure of himself? It is not in his nature to second-guess himself. He’s not lost, he’s somewhere between point A (where he came from) to point B (where he’s supposed to go). How is that lost?
It’s not his fault the damned buildings keep changing all the time.
And yet Shuuei keeps on insisting that he is lost, and should be escorted all the time, and it galls Kouyuu so, the nerve of Shuuei to say false things like that with a winning smile on his face. He’s not lost, just a bit confused as to what room this exactly is, because the last time he was here it was the Finance secretary’s office, and now they converted it to some dirty kitchen, they should post memos about remodeling rooms and changing offices like that, it’s irritating and hassling and now look what happened to him, he’s in a room that isn’t the room he thought it was. And that is not the same as lost. Not at all.
And it is not funny, and Shuuei should stop smiling like that and teasing Kouyuu and generally treating the scholar as if he was some amusing little boy, because he is not. He is a grown man who is on his way to the Finance department and is not lost.
The reason he lets Shuuei hold his hand and ‘guide’ him to the Finance department is definitely not because he’s lost.
But it is a reason Kouyuu would rather not elaborate upon.
----------------------------------------------------
Because, Kouyuu reasoned with himself, Shuuei becomes this annoying, overly self-possessed smug idiot whenever he flirts with anyone. That is the only reason why Kouyuu gets angry at Shuuei whenever the latter starts flirting, nothing else.
----------------------------------------------------
This is an office, and not just any office, but the office of the vice secretary of Civil Affairs. It is not a lounging area, damn it, so why does he let Shuuei just sit there and loiter?
Because you like me, was the cheeky reply, and for a moment Kouyuu’s heart stopped beating, as if something he has kept secret has been said out loud in such a carefree manner. Looking up from his work to look at the young general sitting right across the room, seeing Shuuei watching him with lazy eyes and a mischievous smile, Kouyuu’s heart starts beating again, and his grip loosens around the brush in his hand, because once again Shuuei had just only been teasing him, and not divining the workings of his heart.
And the words tumble out of his mouth after the momentary pause, as if he no longer had to think about them, those spluttering ‘what’s and indignant ‘I do not, you lying wretch’s.
----------------------------------------------------
Every after he looks away in indignant anger or stomp ahead in extreme annoyance, Kouyuu never sees Shuuei still staring at him (his profile or the back of his head), with a most peculiar look on his face. That short unguarded moment that Shuuei allows himself to indulge in, which Kouyuu never sees because he is too angry to even look at the Ran clansman without being set off on another rant.
It is not often that a true smile graces Ran Shuuei’s lips.
And maybe that is how it should be, for now. The general is himself unsure as to what would happen if for some reason Kouyuu looked back at him in one of those short, unguarded moments. He may even be a little afraid of what Kouyuu’s face would show if that moment ever happens, afraid that maybe it won’t be an irate expression but something mirroring his own.
Because then their precarious game of push and pull would end, and Shuuei would have to pursue Kouyuu until the other man says yes, yes he has always been Shuuei’s, and will always be. Because there is nothing left for Shuuei to do but that.
And then he would have to face Kou Reishin, on two levels. On the surface level he would have to live his life constantly aware of assassination attempts and enduring polite conversations with the capricious head of the Kou clan, and of the two he is more apprehensive of the latter than any danger to his life. On the second level he would have to face with Kou Reishin in Kouyuu’s heart, the man who is practically the sun of Kouyuu’s universe, and he would have to contend with being only the moon. And that is what he is most afraid of. Any struggle he would have to take to become the center of Kouyuu’s life would be rendered hard, and he almost wishes that Reishin-dono is as horrible as he makes himself seem to be, if only so that Shuuei’s lot would be easier. But only almost.
So for now this is how it should be, his short, unguarded moments hidden from Kouyuu. Shuuei smiles his smiles and looks at the back of Kouyuu’s head, teasing eyes tempered by some softening emotion the general never thought to associate with himself, and Kouyuu never looking back in anger.
---------------------------------------------------------
end?
and this has been posted in fanfiction as well. comments are very much appreciated!