trying to have a better day
We just had a fire drill so that was kinda exciting... and I got a 97 on my english paper thank god, hopefully i can pull my grade up because of my bad test grade. I got home really last last night from all my college visits... 3 universities in one weekend is not all that fun. UNT, TCU and then I went to UT to visit my brother.. I drove a lot and it was very tiring.. I didn't think iwould have to drive home from UT but my mom was tired and not feeling well so i ended up driving some more.. i prob drove about 7 or 8 hours this whole weekend... it sucked. So i thought visiting the campuses would make me more clear on where i want to go but it actually made me more confused.. unt and tcu are both very pretty.. tcu is really small you avg about 20 people in a class and that kinda seems TOO little for me.. but things are very accessable there.. and then there is UCF which is pretty as well... so how do i decide this.. if you have any suggestions please let me know anything would help. well not anything cause everyone wants me to do what they want me to do. im having a hard time deciding what I really want. Im scared I am going to make a decision and then half way through the summer decide i made the wrong way. i seem to be super indecisive lately. i don't know why. i use to always know exactly what i wanted rather it be what i wanted to do, who i wanted to date, or picking out a dress for homecoming etc... i found my prom dress this weekend and bought it but of course that was another indecisive decision that took forever. its really pretty but it took me forever cause i was trying to decide between three.. sometimes i wish i didn't have choices.. i wish i only had one.. Like schools.. sometimes i wish i just got into one college i think that would help a lot. its so weird freshman-junior years i was always decisives always... never cared about if people would like my decision i just did it. i had to decide when and where my group of friends would hang out etc.. and this year things are just so different im too preoccupied about making other people happy and i don't know why. WHY DO I DO THAT... Why can't i decide for myself and not care anymore.. but the fact is i don't want to hurt other people cause that hurts myself.. UG.. ok enough of writing.. i wrote this long poem last night and it makes perfect sense but it still doesn't help me with how i feel about things and my indecisiveness... i did make one final decision yesterday of course it hurt someone but i think it is for the best although i feel like a cruddy person overall to everyone...