Two part rosebud, section the second

Aug 08, 2010 21:20

Title: Broken
Author: Fluff
Disclaimer: Ownership hasn't changed since I posted part I.
Wordcount: 708 (not technically a rosebud. It sort of got away from me. Sorry. Kind of.)
Setting: Future
Notes: Part I can be found here.

Part II )

fic, fluffernutter8

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Comments 13

buffyangellvr23 August 9 2010, 03:29:13 UTC
awww nice but sad. I hope you can give some happy too eventually.

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fluffernutter8 August 10 2010, 13:12:51 UTC
Yeah, I have a happy one that I'm deciding whether or not to post because the quality isn't quite what I'd like it to be.

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ares132006 August 9 2010, 07:13:25 UTC
Oh so very sad. This line slayed me.

"I want my mom," she confessed feebly into Angel's shoulder and dropped into sleep.

*sniff*

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racheltng August 9 2010, 15:09:10 UTC
Sad, sad, sad. And so touching. I'm glad that they can comfort each other in the hard times.

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fluffernutter8 August 10 2010, 13:18:44 UTC
I really hope that's what they'll do in their future. (Yeah, it's a little bit of a problem that I actually refer to these characters as real people, but I'm mostly not crazy.)

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perpetual August 9 2010, 20:10:05 UTC
That was sad and gorgeous. And a great use of two of the prompts, which is extra exciting to me.

I love seeing them place so much importance on having a child together. Even though we could logically tell them it doesn't matter, they can adopt, it doesn't change their feelings for each other, etc....it's hugely symbolic for them and it's just one more sacrifice they have to make after they've wanted it and fought for it for so long.

The way you write them suffering together and also trying to comfort each other even though they're both so lost in the pain is fantastic. I totally believed every moment.

And, a lamebrain addendum, happy birthday. I've been planning a birthday post for you for days now, but I'm realizing I might keep not having the chance before my internet goes away, so I'm saying it now just in case it looks like I forgot.

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fluffernutter8 August 10 2010, 13:29:34 UTC
I love seeing them place so much importance on having a child together.
Weirdly, that was one of the things that I debated over when the idea first came to me: Would they actually be this sad? But they've been trying for six years to have a baby. Most couples, when they're told that they can't have kids think "we shouldn't have waited so long" or "maybe if I hadn't had that vaccination." Buffy and Angel have to think "maybe if I hadn't gotten hurt saving that boy" or "maybe if I hadn't been a vampire," and it's so much easier to beat yourself up with big things than small ones.

I totally believed every moment.
Okay, now it's too much. This isn't even in my top ten favorite things I've written. But I'll take it anyway because Lord, how I love compliments.

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perpetual August 11 2010, 02:36:34 UTC
It's not my favorite of what you've written either but that's different from totally believing it.

SORRY, JUST HAVE TO VALIDATE ALL MY COMPLIMENTS, KTHNX (happy birthday).

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fluffernutter8 August 10 2010, 13:30:58 UTC
P.S. Thanks for the happy birthday. I'll be 18 all year, so feel free to do the happy birthday thing any time from now to next August.

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scribesds August 10 2010, 08:23:45 UTC
That was so sad. So hard for them trying to have a family together and being thwarted in their desires.

I was going to say you could have posted it in one story and called it a double rosebud, or something, but I liked the way you used two prompts for this, and the second one was a creative use of the title.

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fluffernutter8 August 10 2010, 13:36:35 UTC
The second part (the weirder part, but whatever) came first and I started writing the whole thing. Then, I realized that the scene in the doctor's office could actually be another prompt altogether. So I was trying to decide which prompt to use and it got too long anyway, so I decided just to split it up and give each part its own prompt.

Thanks for reviewing. Also thank you (and Kairos) for starting up this comm. I write better with prompts, so yours have been making sure that I write at least 300 words a week...lower what I wish I could write, but higher than what I was doing before.

So, awkward thank you is awkward, but there you go. :)

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